I think honesty is the best policy. You'd like to think you had something to offer other than one year of parties.

It kind of makes you wonder how the IHQs weigh it all out when they dole out penalties.

I am concerned about the impression that your friend may have about not needing a rec because she is going through rush at a non-SEC school. I personally went to a non-SEC school and am now an advisor for an SEC school so I know both ends of the spectrum. My insight on a non-SEC rush is that while it is not as necessary to have a rec and will not necessarily hurt your chances of recieving a bid it does GREATLY improve your chances. Most sororities at non-SEC schools tend to be smaller chapters and have smaller numbers going through recruitment, because of this they operate a little differently. Many of these chapters have rules such as if a girl has a rec then she cannot be dropped before a certain time. This gives your friend the advantage of having more time with the sorority to see if there is a connection. My neice is about to go through rush at a college in Arizona and because my sorority is not going to consider her a legacy I called the advisor of my chapter to find out exactly what their guidelines were and I was told that because recs were not as common at this school being as it is non-SEC that when girls have recs they have much higher success and usually whoever writes the rec will recieve a call from the chapter if the girl is being dropped. Now understanding that this simply the procedure for one group I cannot speak for the others but know that the greek life office may say it's not necessary because it won't matter in the end (which is might not) it can't hurt and can only improve her chances. I hope that this insight helps a little if you talk to your friend again before her recruitment begins. Best Wishes.

MamaDawg and UGA Dad,
We are all thinking of you tonight as your baby dawgs wait for their pref parties. I hope both girl are invited back to the house they want most. And Mama Dawg, I've got both fingers crossed and a red carnation on my pillow.

Are the Rho Chis (or whatever they are called these days) really pushing COB as an option for girls who don't like their results? (or talking it up more than usual?)

I keep kind of hearing it in the context of girls dropping out, but it doesn't make much sense to drop with hopes of COB if you still have the groups who usually COB on your party list.

And at UGA COB isn't likely to involve that many groups most years. Snap bids, maybe, but COB, not so much or at least any kind of open COB that PNMs are likely to know about.

Brumby
 

On top of everything else, there was a fire alarm in Brumby tonight -- somebody burned some bagels. So these tired girls, especially the ones on the top floors, had to walk down all those stairs and stand outside for most of an hour.

As for the tent talk -- who can blame the pnms? Especially the ones with no prior knowledge of reputations and few friends or even acquuaintances among the actives. They have had a grand total of 70 minutes with each of the sororities that are still alive for them. They are starving for information. They think they know who they like, but how can they be even remotely confident that they have a true sense of what each sorority is really like?

The only real problem with tent talk is that the PNMs don't just get talked into one group instead of another, sometimes they get talked out of groups that otherwise they might have liked. And often times the information isn't actually true.

For instance, at some campuses, although not UGA that I know of, some groups are plagued by persistent tent talk that they are in danger of closing when they aren't, and this year at UGA, a group may or may not be on social probation. If they are, it's good for the PNMs to know it, if if they aren't, some PNM may shy away from a great experience for bad reasons.

While wanting to know all you can is understandable, it's not really helpful if you are using bad information to make your decisions.

telephone game
 

UGADad,

I just got off the phone with my daughter and she told me about the fire as well. I'm laughing because she told me that someone burnt popcorn in a microwave and they had to check every room!!!!!!!! So bagels, popcorn mmm.... why would they have to check every room if the person who burnt whatever knew "where" they burnt it!!!!!

As for the Red and Black link -- I was not nearly as upset with the article as I was with the posts. I was very shocked to read what I read in regard to all the slander of the greeks and specifically the sorority identified. But what was really sad was what some of the responses from the girls were! If I was a recruit I would certainly take that into consideration as representation of some in that house.

Looking forward to posts in the morning after the schedules are out. At least they don't have to be there until 7:40 tomorrow!

I agree with you (AlphaGamUGAAlum). I'm not saying it is right or good, just unavoidable and understandable.

By the way, UGADaughter asked her recruitment adviser tonight about the sanctions for the sorority on "social probation", and one of her friends separately asked her adviser. The answer was identical - the only sanction for this probation is that there can be no alcohol out during social functions. Of course, some of us think that should be the rule anyway -- these girls are 17 and 18 afterall!

Anyway, no restrictions on number of recruits, and no restriction on the ability to have social events. At least that is the word from the Rho Chis (I hope that's the right name).

That's really funny about the different fire stories.

Where did you find the posts with responses from the girls? I'd like to read those. I just think we need to be careful jumping to conclusions about a group of 200 girls for what could have been the actions of just a very few. And unfortunately, as college kids go these days, I suspect you could fine a few who might do thi kind of thing in almost every group of 200.

I couldn't agree more. But still, those "few" were chosen/selected to "fit in" to that house. Sometimes there is truth to some accusations about reputations - in both good and bad ways. But, just as the posts mentioned about the chapter that shut down being predominantly Jewish - this may or may not be true but that was the perception and as adults in the real world and workplace we know that too often, "perception = reality" no matter how unfair or biased it is.

ok I'm starting to ramble and need to go to bed! But to answer your question, the posts are in a link just under the article. there were about 70 or so posts.

Day 5
 

Well it is underway, and we can all take a breath (yes AJC you can quote me on that:D).

Best wishes to all the young ladies and their families today. I hope there is much happiness and very little heartbreak.

Hopefully the freshmen girls can find time today to venture onto campus and find the buildings where they will actually begin CLASSES tomorrow!

I'll be able to sleep tonight!
 

Well, with only the 1 rec phoned in, my D has a full sked today with her top 2 on it!!!! #3 has all along not been one of her "fits" but she kept saying they seem to really like her. however, she is going to all 3 but she is considering not listing the #3 on her ranking - just the other 2 where she will be happy at either one. Is this the "suicide" thing?

But after reading about Auburn Mom who's D had full skeds every day and wound up with the bid of the one she didn't feel fit, and is still miserable, I'm thinking that my D should not list it if she does not want to be there at all. Any thoughts?

She told me too that she feels so badly for girls who didn't get any and also only got 1 or 2 that they didn't really like. She told me about 1 girl who got 3 and complained that she didn't really like any of them and I advised her that the girl may be feeling that way because she didn't get her top choice and she needs to make the best of today and be glad she has 3! My D also tried to be very quiet when she got her sked and didn't say anything unless she was asked because she saw some girls get so excited and they were right next to others who didn't get 1 -- this is really tough.

Apparently there are 4 rounds today - but still they only go to 3; it is just that one house wanted smaller groups or is a small house and needed more time or something like that.

Putting 2/3 is not considered "maximizing your options" and would make her ineligible for snap bids and Quota Additions (they're confusing, there are whole threads on them, but basically, it means that she can get a bid outside of the normal quota restrictions...).

I've suggested this before, but you need to have her check with her local PHC before doing so, to make sure they don't count this as not maximizing...She could put the two that she liked, and then one that cut her first round.
So, say she really liked ABC and XYZ, and also liked GBH, but GBH cut her first round, her bid card could read:
1.XYZ
2.ABC
3.GHB
Since she most likely wouldn't appear anywhere on their bidlist, she most likely wouldn't get a bid from them, but she would still be listing the maximum amount of groups.
Additionally, I wouldn't have her ask her Rho Gamma this (they probably wouldn't have a definitive answer)- I would have her ask either the Greek Life director or the PHC VP of Recruitment.

Partial Suicide
 

The "suicide" thing is usually when a girl only lists one sorority after preference party. My chapter considered this a "partial suicide" and while I normally don't support suiciding because it can greatly hurt your chances of getting any bids I think that if your D is not comfortable with the 3rd house then she should not list it at all. Realistically - it is a possibility that your D is not high enough on the 2 favorites bid list to make a bid match so if she can't see herself in that 3rd choice then she doesn't need to list it at all. She just needs to make sure that she feels that strongly about this house because it does lessen her chances of a bid and at a school like UGA the COB process is sometimes non-existant (especially at the stronger sororities) because houses are already at total. I wish your D the best of luck - I am sure that she will make the decision that is best for her. Best of luck for both of your nerves as you wait for tomorrow.

PNM moms and dad!
 

As a greek mom to 2 at UGA, I've read the AJC articles and your posts here, and can remember well your worries and joys for your child this past week !! Mine have graduated but being greek at UGA was a wonderful experience for them. I hope and wish the very best for your daughters at the end of this experience !! I know that the whole recruitment process is hard work- for the PNMs and sororities. The PC at UGA works to provide a good outcome for both PNMs and sororities, but I can say for sure that you MUST have recs, let everyone you know that's active in a sorority now that you are going thru recruitment, and you have to have a very open mind. There are always several sororities that everyone really likes and recruit very well. Many of the PNMs want to come back, but the sorority can only have a certain number. To keep PNMs in the recruitment process as long as possible, you rank your choices and on occassion throw in an extra 2 or 3 choices. Many girls are disappointed, both PNMs and in the sorority, but for most, this probably imperfect system works out well. I would really recommend that each PNM rank every pref party they attend. When the formal bids are issued, a lot of the sororities already have a list of girls they will talk to immediately if they have an open bid and the openings to reach quota are sometimes very few. As parents, get involved with your child's group !! Throughout the year there will be activities for parents and families and I would encourage you to attend. You will be amazed at the wonderful friends, activities and events that your daughter has become a part of at UGA !!

As a former rho chi at uga (and vp membership) this does not sound like it would maximize her options. I do not think you are allowed to rank houses that you did not attend a pref party. Also, houses that make quota and are already at total are normally not allowed to make snap bids. They may go a little over on quota with quota additions (girls who have ranked all their options and do not land on a pledge list before it reaches quota is at any of their houses will often be added on at one to maximize the number of girls pledged), but are not normally allowed to go over quota and total with snap bids.

Another note on cob and possible pledgeship later in the year, yes all of these houses may lose some girls through early graduation and terminating pledgeship or membership, but will it really be enough for the sorority to want to do the entire member education program again? Often large houses will not have a member education period for just a few when they are dealing with over 200 and know it will even out next year. Just some thoughts....

Perhaps a little late, but maybe some of the girls should think about the reasons why they want to join a sorority and consider if the ones they are going to will possibly meet these reasons - we all have different reasons and none are right or wrong. Sometimes these things can get lost in the stress and emotions (and heat!).

Just to set the record straight my daughter loves the sorority she ended up with at Auburn; it was one of her two favorites from the beginning. I think you may be talking about AUGreekMom's (not AuburnMom's) daughter in your quote above.

I just wanted to clear things up so that the poor DG's at Auburn didn't think they had a new pledge that wasn't happy to be there! :)

good luck to all you Georgia Parents and your daughters from the Auburn parents and their daughters! We're keeping our fingers crossed for all of you.....

p.s... I so understand the comments about the lack of sleep from the Georgia parents. I slept with my cell phone and my house phone for a solid week when my daughter was going through rush at Auburn earlier this week; just so I could make sure I was there for her if she needed me.

It was nice to able to return the phones to their normal places in the house when the week was over!

I talked with my D earlier today. She is going back to 3 houses today, however of the 3 only one is and has been one of her top choices. She is considering suicide. Her thoughts are that of her two top choices last night, she would be happy with either one, but only one of those sororities was on her schedule this morning, and she didn't really want to be in the other two groups. After talking, she agreed to be open minded to the consider the girls who are potential new members (pledge class) as well as reevaluating the girls already in the house before making a final decision regarding suicide.

Suicide concerns me for her sake, but I can only be a listening ear, raise question to options, and be a voice of support to what ever her final decision.

I have prayed for decernment in the final phase of this crazy week for all the girls. Good luck to all girls and us parents. May we all sleep better come Friday night! :)

Good luck to your daughter!

Friday night you'll all be sleeping and I'll just be getting started! ;)

But at least all the "friends" will be settled and my daughter can concentrate on what's going on with her own rush!

You're being a very supportive mom for your D right now. I know that she's very disappointed, but I think that she's right to go to the 3 parties and evaluate again what each group has to offer. Sometimes, in all the frenzy and exhaustion of recruitment, these girls begin to think they've found what they want, but when they have a chance to look again at a group, they find something there they hadn't seen before. Very often these girls get to a pref party and realize that the other PNMs in the room are very much like themselves, and they find that they could be happy with that group. This a always very emotional but it will be over soon. Your D will be happy at UGA in or out of a sorority - and you'll be happy for her, too. Good luck to you both!!!

Thank heaven we all know what you're talking about, or this would sound really bad.

Then again, that's why the term suicide is used - to convey the gravity of what you're doing. "Intentional Single Preference" abbreviated to "ISP" doesn't quite cut it.

Poor use of words...
 

I need to retract and apologozie for the comment made earlier, "considering suicide" instead of S.I.P. (single intention preference). No thought was put into my typing and the manner in which someone might have read those poor choice of words.

My D is emotionally fine about this final phase of RUSH, just to clarify.

To all of you wonderful parents and family members who this may have read this and been disturbed by that phrase for what ever reason, please accept my sincere apologies.

UGAMOM01

Oh no, no need to clarify! I knew I should have put a ;) or :p in there somewhere.

If you said SIP or ISP or whatever the heck it is, 7/8ths of the people on here wouldn't have known what you were talking about. It's politically correct doublespeak at its finest! :)

Using an -ing will remove all doubt, especially on GC. ie. She is thinking about suiciding XYZ.

Here's the bottom line on not maximizing your options, as I see it: if a girls is sure that she'd rather not be Greek than be in a group, she shouldn't list the group.

If she lists them and ends up matched to that group and determines that she still doesn't want to be a member of that group, she has to wait a year before she can accept another bid.

But if she doesn't list them, she cuts her changes of receiving a bid by at least a third and actually more because if she lists all three groups, she is guaranteed a bid at one of them as a QA*

Only listing one or two, if she doesn't match, she can only hope for a snap bid from a different group or the chance to COB later.

Personally, at UGA, I don't think that listing or not listing really changes the outcome any. COB is such a rare thing for many groups that for a girl who is willing to rule groups out in formal matching as bad fits (or beneath her), retaining the option to COB isn't worth much to her.

ETA: It's been called to my attention that it's not actually guaranteed.

5:30 Thursday can't come quick enough
 

:eek:Aghhhh! I'm so confused! And I know that she is too!!!!!!!! Put #3 or not! But it's done now.

:confused: I'm calling her and saying - "Live, Love, Laugh"! (It's funny as when I was her age, I wore a charm that had that saying. And, now those 3 words get posted on lots of walls in pictures etc.) I think that they are very appropriate words for our girls tonight!

Cluelessugamom and all the other UGA parents awaiting bid day tomorrow:

We are all thinking about you tonight. I know it's hard but I'm sure that everything will turm out for the best. Even if she does not get her #1 pick, please tell her to keep an open mind. We're all hoping for the best possible outcomes, though. My red carnation is for you tonight cluelessugamom.

Kathyc

UGAmom
 

Does anyone know if they announce quota to the PNM's? My daughter has not heard anything, but I was wondering if this is still determined and announced ahead of time. Much has changed since I was at UGA.

another girl lost in the shuffle
 

My daughter went through rush this week and eventually dropped out. I too got the dreaded late night phone call from my sorority that they had released my daughter. The thing that was very disheartening was that my daughter was a 4 time legacy at this house with 3 of them being from the UGA chapter. I think my parents paid for half the house in 4 years of dues for 3 girl's !! She had recs at many houses. What I think happened was that we are from out of state and she did not really know anyone in a sorority. My daughter is a pretty, intelligent and loving girl. I am not sure how she could have done better when she only spent a total of 30 minutes at each house. I also believe that the houses where she had recs saw that she was a quadruple XYZ legacy and cut her because they assumed she would pledge XYZ. It has been the hardest thing for her. I am not sure of any other situation where 18 year old girls are rejected by so many groups of girls. She did put in for open bid and I am praying she will get one.

Prefs at UGA
 

I went up to Athens to help with prefs at my Gamma Phi Beta chapter and was shocked to discover that each pref party had 70-75 girls attending!:eek:
I figure quota may be in the high 60's!:eek:
On a personal note, I was thrilled to find out that at least 4 of the 14 girls I wrote recs for preffed Gamma Phi! :p yay!

I am new to this. Please help!! My daughter only picked 2 of the 3 she visited today for prefs. Does that mean she now can't go through winter recruitment if neither gives her a bid? To top it off, she didn't have recs for any of them. I was clueless....now I am really nervous.

P.S. She does know several girls at her top pick and they all assured her that she was "in". Is that "what they all say"? Can they get a rec on her if they really want her?

Oh this will be a fun, sleepless night (eye roll)

Thanks for helping

Quota is 55....

If she doesn't get a bid, she can do COR (continuous open recruitment) now or wait for winter recruitment. If she gets a bid from either and doesn't accept it, she has to sit out a year till next August.

I think we all need to find out what they mean by Spring Rush. If most of the sororities make their quota , then what would be the need for them to do a rush in the spring.

no, quota is 52.

Very good question.

There is fall rush quota. And there is house total.

Only the sororities that are still below house total participate in Spring Rush at UGA. (its only participated in by a couple houses at the most, if ever)

They shouldn't be saying she is "in" at all, because they don't really know what will happen--at most schools, this is considered a recruitment infraction, and the chapter could be fined for this. If, however, one lady simply said, "I could see you here," then that's a little bit different. Any time a house guarantees that someone is "in," I would be a bit wary. To answer your question, that is NOT "what they all say," it's what should never be said to a PNM during recruitment.

The girls should NOT be saying your daughter is in.....:( the girls who told her that are not the only ones voting. How would your daughter feel if she did not get in after being told that she was in?