all clear!!!:D

To da man that was driving in the lane next to me:o

I wish i had a gun under my seat or at least a skinny switch with all the leaves torn off. I would have TORN YOUR BEHIND UP.

As I look over in the lane next to me, I see you. A man in a crisp white navy uniforn. You have your finger so far up your nose I am certain that there are fingerprints on your corneas. EWWWWWWW


I honk my horn at you and mouth the words.....I see you nasty.

Insert vomit smilie >here<

to the ladies:
the point of wearing a thong is to not reveal any pantylines. so when your pants/dress/shorts are so thin/tight that i can see the outline of said thong, it kinda defeats the purpose.

and remember that zebra/leopard/whatever animal you prefer prints DO show through.


to my sister:
yay! prom is in 2 days. im so glad you found a dress and all, but do we really have to be ghetto by wearing an 18 inch weave and a TIARA?! and long GLOVES?! i mean really. i know we from the hood, but the hood doesnt belong at prom. save that ish for them birds from the bronx.

to linda:
everytime you cough, you sound like youre dying from emphysema. you gonna inhale one Kool cigarette too many and it's gonna be ON. well its gonna be OFF, as in your life, cause your fat, nasty, lung-diseased 2-pack-a-day smokin a$$ is gonna die real soon.

p.s. your days of underpaying me for this bullsh!t work you have me do are numbered. watch it b!tch.

my cockroach manifesto
 

OK hell is about to freeze on 6.6.06.
i agree with ol shamikaT. aint nobody too good to have roaches. HEAR ME OUT DAMMIT!

i have lived in places where i've had roaches and where i have not. one of my dorms was next to a deli, and most of the rooms on the lower floors had roaches like whoa. there were exterminators there on a monthly basis. now i know i would be mad payin all that money, but housing's explanation was, "its NYC, ish happens, man up." i've moved a lot. some houses had lots of roaches, some had none, some had varying problems. how to deal? moms got some Raid bombs every week and said, "they don't pay rent here... they gots to go!"

maybe im being a little too real. but when you live in the city, youre bound to have them. especially if you live in an apartment building, row houses (where all the houses on the block are connected) in a multi-family house or near a high-traffic restaurant area. roaches multiply like a motha, and not even the most potent Raid will wipe them out. theseroaches out here are gangsta like that.

the first time i saw my (ex) BF at his apartment, one crawled up the wall in the living room. he was embarassed out his mind, but i was like, calm down. yes, its gross, but it happens. is it normal? depending on where you come from, it definitely could be. is it nasty as all get out? sho is. some people (like Cake Lady) figured, lemme play it off so i can save face, but it just make her look nasty.

I live in Miami, Fl. Moisture and mud make roach heaven. I have to bomb the house at least every month. But the difference is. Big roaches come from outdoors. Small roaches breed indoors. In order to breed they need moisture and filth. So little roaches means you're nasty. Large roaches means you have a crack or a loose window seal. So if I see a large roach I'll be cool, but small roaches...I won't eat or drink let alone sit on anything.

Re: my cockroach manifesto
 

I have to agree with y'all too, especially living in cramped quarters like you described, like row houses, buildings, etc. It's really bound to happen, and all you can do is fight them, lol. You have no control how the person downstairs or upstairs from you lives, or the person that lived there before you lived, so you may have them through no fault of your own. I don't have them now and sure hope to never see them again, but sometimes you can't help it.

^^^ may true. I wouldnt invite anyone to my house if I had roaches.:(

Thats funny... I know a guy who trains his roaches... YES trains them... he's one of those breeder guys... pretty lightskinned dude with nothing going for him but 3 good lines... He has 8 kids in a studio apartment and them little Q#$^%'s throw food everywhere... but no matter where they throw it... Mark's roaches clean up and leave his place spotless. his roaches are also trained not to scatter at the light coming on and they can take the peanut butter out of roach traps lmao... Sorry mark i said it laugh and keep it moving!

Reminds me of that movie 'Joe's Apartment' with the singing and dancing roaches LOL!!

:eek:

I couldn't even watch the whole thing because I got grossed out too easily.

2 My Sister: I know that you have issues with what's going on in my life right now. You don't agree with the fact that I have an active social life while you're stuck at home. Now ain't Karma a b*^&h. Now my car is out of commission and I have to share one with you. So now you use that to control my social life. I wanna play cards with they guys, but you claim to be getting your hair down @ 10:30pm. You make me pay for gas that I never get to use. I've been trapped in the house so long that I've gotten several shades lighter. My friend probably won't recognize me when my car finally gets fixed. Your husband has a car of his own and yet you won't use it. You rather make me suffer. Well I'll see about that.

To the Woman on Maury:

How did you manage to have identical twins sons with 2 different daddies???? :mad: Then you have the nerve to be confused like you have no clue who the other boys father is. how does this happen?? :confused: You would've had to have slept with the other dude within in a reeeeeally close time frame, to get that timing right. Were there that many guys in that small window of time that you are just completely stumped as to who it could be?? Or maybe you had a manoje (sp?) with 2 diffrent dudes at the same time, just and ur dam egg was splitting?? I just don't get it.

To the dude that found out that one of the twins wasn't his:

I'm mad that ur grown a$$ really did a cartwheel on stage to celebrate. Talking 'bout "1 out a 2 ain't bad . . ":mad:
Just another case of black children lost in the chaos their parents create

2 the section 8 tenants that have moved into my neighborhood: Please stop parking on the street at 1130 pm with your music blasting. I know that you have lucked up on renting a 300,000 house for $20 a month while the rest of us pay mortagages and you don't have to work. I am going to call the po po on your azzes if this isht don't stop. I am tired of your kids always throwing rocks in the streets and I have to dodge them because I can't afford to buy new tires for my SUV. Gas is high as hell. Why are those kids outside this late on a school night anyway, it's no wonder your kids are 13 in the 4th grade...take ya'll azzes to school. I'm ready to phase a nucca right now!!

To whoever designed the new GC logo! Why did you leave out "psi"? :mad:

I noticed that!!

To the Miami Heat...

I am glad you all won last night, but I'mma need y'all to get ya ihst together! A win is a win, but dayum! If you play another game and have all those dayum turnovers, I am going to boycott the team. Dwayne Wade can't do everything(although he is Superman). Now let's get this isht together and spank some @ss:mad:

Wow!!!! I just wrote a simular letter on the Open Letter thread!!!!

I feel u on that one! My blood pressure is still up!

^^^DAYMN!!! Now dat's some anger

My dearest Godson
 

Dear godson...

I am soo thru with you. Your trifiling arz will never get another penny from me. Why did your mom have to call you about six freaking tickets that you have totally ignored...2 being moving violations in the amount of $700 and $650 respectfully...WHY? You know why...because you are 22 with the mind of a 4 year old...nikka u knew you got those tickets..why didn't you just pay them? that's why your mom is going to take the Land Rover back..BECAUSE YOU DO NOT DESERVE IT! youz a trifiling somthin...and then when she told you to send her the money..you stated that your job FORCED you to quit! R U THAT STUPID. Fool u were fired!!! If your shift starts at 4 and you get there at 6..3x's out of the week...Guess What? naw, better yet..don't guess....

Do you think your mom moved to Vegas for her new job...NOPE! she moved because she was trying to get away from your sorry arz...now you're really cut off and I ain't giving you a red cent ....NOW WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN THEY COME FOR YOU...Just like your ol stupid arz Daddy....with his 6 kids with different women..without a job! I could go on and on..but you are my godson..but uz a stupid nikka! I don't like it when my girl calls me crying about your sorry behind. She has been my dawg since the 1st grade and I'll be damned if i let you drive her insane.. NIKKA - GET YOUR ISH TOGETHER..now! and stop always calling my house asking for Danielle...i know she's your godsister..but Back the hell up! mkay.

i just want you to know that I still love you..but i told your mom to cut your arz off at the ankles..that means no more money...no more paying for your cell phone..no more paying for half of the rent...and another thing...STOP SMOKING WEED BOY..IT'S MESSING UP YOUR BRAIN CELLS.

Sincerely,

your godmommy

I had to go Part II on ur @$$: We argue everyday, u went from being my closest consult, to my biggest pain. So u repo'd ur car from me, because I went to a b-day bash. I'm not gonna lie when u called me @ 11:30 pm to tell me u had to run an "errand" after I did everything u asked me, I came to bring u da car back. But I saw ur husbands car sitting in the driveway and decided to KIM. Me and my friends had a ball that night while u sat home listening to Waiting to Exhale tracks and ignoring ur husband's ex-wifes stalking phone calls. So now I have to get on the bus, until u calm down. It's ok. I'm gonna do what I gotta do. But when $hit comes back around, know that I'm gonna let it rain on u. Don't be mad bcuz I have a life and I'm not down and out even though u think I should be. Get one of ur own, then u'll know what it's like.

P.S. Get me mad enough so I can tell u about yourself.

Among other things
 

Things you would say if you wouldn't get arrested, shot, fired, or prosecuted!!!

Now that I have a new job, I want to say:

You MF's have given me hell for nine years. I've worked my a** off you still wanted more. Now you want me to stay - - - only when hell freezes! SEEYA

To my two cousins:

This is it! I am finally through with the two of you! You all never show up at family functions except when somebody has a gift for your children! At christmas you come in the house empty handed and leave with full stomachs and boxes and boxes full of gifts for your kids. Whenever something goes on in the family you whine and complain that no one ever tells you anything and that everyone is against the two of you~WRONG! How do you expect someone to tell you something if you never call, come around, or check on anyone?

Well this is it! I am finished with you two biatches! My grandmother is going through a very serious illness right now and neither one of you biatches can call and check on her because you are mad at somebody else in the family? I don't think so! Like I said, this is a time when we should be coming together for her, and you all decide that now is the time for you to vent your frustrations with other family members and decide you don't want to be associated with us! FVCK you too! I wish I could pay somebody to whoop y'all @sses! Karma is a biatch...remember that!:mad:

To my boss

You have managed to pluck my nerves. It appears that you are following my every move to find fault. Everyone knows that I am a very easy going- go with the flow type of person. But what ya'll dont know is I have a very ugly side. I call her Tara. Please dont make me put Tara on you. Thank God I have options.

To my mother

I love you soo much. But you are a real trip. Why did you accept a job with a company and not know what you are getting paid? Now you are making 1/3 of your former salary. I just dont get you sometimes. I really hope you dont think I am going to pick up the slack on your mistake. I will help. But dont count me as a part of your income. I do have a life of my own.:mad:

To my brother

You are crazy for real. You have never paid me back any money that I have loaned you. I know that you have been calling me getting all friendly because you want something. I meant what I said when I told you that I am going to love you from afar. I'm sorry that you counted me as a part of your income. Get a job and a life.

To myself:
Learn to be yourself. Stop being so bossy because you feel dat u have to be tuff. I know ur the baby in the dept. and the old farts treat u like you have to work twice as hard to prove why the hell u are here. It wasn't that suit u paid way too much for that got u this job. It wasn't ur good looks and flirting that got u this far. They might have helped, but that's not why u are always weeks ahead of ur deadlines and never miss a detail. U come up with new ideas and have pretty much revamped the whole system here. DO DA DAMN THANG BOY!!! Don't let granny "I've been here too long" and daddy "Damn I hate dat nigga" get to u. Again. DO DA DAMN THANG BOY!!!

Actually, it was your degree from PerfectVerse and Lil_Sunshine's University of Ghetto Pimpology that got you this far.

'Raise your styrofoam cup
If you don't give a :eek: '

Dayum right!!!! Ya betta reco'nize!!!! ;) :p

I forgot. That must be it. Funny thing is we've been out of cups in da office all week.

Yeah, because everyone in your office has been so impressed with your performance and skills, they have all enrolled into the PLUGP undergraduate program. Thanks to you, we have experienced an enormous amount of applicants!!!

:cool:

2 my ex: How dare u tell someone not to be my friend, because I'm not what I seem. LOL. Dis coming from someone who thought it was only a minor offense to not mention u had four kids. The same vile human being who lies about their job, age, and living situation. Lawd, thank you Jesas! I don't believe in violence. The nerve!

Thou shalt layeth the smacketh down on her candy azz, and dat quick!!!!!!!!

U know!! Ole' wear my bestfriends clothes to the club, add a couple of inches to my dreads won't no body notice @$$ hefa!!!:mad:

To the custodian on my job,

Quit wearing shorts. I know it's hot, but those pasty sticks are making my day go BAD. Also, quit talking to me all the time. I told you, you're older than my father, you have kids older than me and I just don't do old white men. Pray for a wife instead of preaching to me.

To my SO,
Get it together or you will get left. If I didn't like you so much, I would know your name by now. Again, you need to be thanking your lucky stars that I gave you a 2nd chance but I see how much it means. Goodbye and good luck

Oh my. TMI on some of these posts. Some things should not be put on Front Street like that. :eek: :( :eek: :(