"Hi, my name is RedRoseSAI, and I'm a wedding snob."

I've only been to one wedding with a dollar dance. Honestly, I was appalled.

I also think bands are better than DJs. We had a band, and they were awesome. I have yet to say to MrRedRose "Hey, remember that DJ at so-and-so's wedding? Yeah, he was great". Sorry, that just doesn't happen, but I do remember several great wedding bands.

Open bar is the only way to go. You wouldn't invite people over to your house and charge them for alcohol, would you?

Oh, and Chicken Dance, Hokey-Pokey, garter and bouquet toss? No thanks. We did do the cake cutting (withOUT smashing into each other's faces) the hora, and we made people get up and recite poetry if they wanted us to kiss. That was pretty funny...we have some very creative, extroverted friends, so it went over really well.

Since I'm going for broke here, I also like weddings in unique settings (i.e. not the ballroom at a Hyatt).

YES YES YES YES. We are wedding twins. I am so glad I'm not alone -- maybe it's a Chicago thing. :)

Different strokes for different folks. Some people can afford to have weddings with live bands, open bar, and don't do the dollar dance. Others are limited in their finances & make do with a D.J. To some, dollar dances are perfectly acceptable in their cultures while others do it for personal gain. It all depends on what a bride & groom want and think is acceptable for them.
Being a wedding snob is perfectly fine as long as you don't mock or look down your nose at those who do the things you're so against. This isn't written to offend or flame anyone. It's just the way things are w/weddings. Everyone does whatever they feel is acceptable for their special day regardless of what their guests might think. As long as we remember that the bride & groom are happy, then that's all that should matter.

I'm a wedding snob--for my own wedding. I have things that I would want, but I try not to judge others for what they choose. My only exception is if someone acts like hot shit and pretends to be high-class and has a tacky wedding. In that case, Munchkin is allowed to snark away.

Exactly how I feel. I actually think the Monday morning quarterbacking after wedding's is pretty tacky. If people are having the type of wedding that they want, then that's what's important. It's when they try to change to fit everyone else's tastes that things start going downhill.

My wife and I had what we wanted in our wedding, and we had an amazing day. Whether other people do other things for their weddings are up to them.

OK, if we're going to bitch about things we hate at weddings, let me throw out my top one:

THE UNITY CANDLE.

I think the image of snuffing out your own individuality to become part of a couple is absolutely repulsive and has probably sent more than one couple to therapy.

OK, have at me. :)

I've only been to one wedding where there was a unity candle, but I don't remember any message of snuffing out your individuality - just "the two become one" image, where the bride and groom each use their candles to light the central one together. I don't remember if they extinguished the side candles after lighting the central one.

If the message really is one of snuffing out your individuality now that you're half of a couple, well, *shudder*. When you get married, you are half of a couple - but you're still you. Your own individuality and personality don't go away just because you now have a ring on your finger.

LOL! I actually have to agree & say that I detest the Unity candle as well as that sand thing where a couple have 2 different colored sands that they pour into one container. I just don't get it. I don't like these traditions so I'm not having them.

Munchkin, you're perfectly in the right to be a snob about your own wedding. I think that we all are. I know I'm being one w/my loathing of the candle & sand. I also don't like uniformity in bridesmaids dresses so my girls are wearing the same tea length skirt w/different tops that they are comfortable in. It's all in the couple. I say that people should do what makes them happy & comfortable on their day.

I don't like the unity candle either, and we didn't do it at our wedding. I remember reading somewhere back when I was in the wedding planning stage that the whole unity candle thing originally started from a soap opera wedding, and was never a true "tradition" at all. Don't know if it's true or not, but I found it humorous.

I've been to several weddings where they have had the money dance, (mexican and pilipino) and if it's a cultural thing, cool. I wouldn't do it at mine and won't be doing it, but if it's your thing, go for it.

We're not having a band or a DJ, but then we are also flying to Ireland to get married on New Year's Eve with about 24 people coming. After the dinner reception, we're either going to go to the NYE ball at the castle where the dinner is being held, or going back into town to listen to some live music in one of the pubs with our friends and family. One way or the other, we're doing it our way and liking it.:)

Oooh, I'm glad you brought up the cake cutting thing. I think the bride and groom smashing it in each other's faces is tacky as hell. Thankfully, the last few weddings I've been to they haven't smashed it.

Gotta love the hora! Did you have people lift you in the chairs too? :)

As far as the unity candle, I don't think that's done at Jewish weddings. It hasn't been at any of the Jewish weddings I've attended. I never heard of the sand thing until it was done on Trista and Ryan's Wedding.

Ooh, I forgot to snark on bridesmaid dresses. I've always thought that it was odd for grown women to all dress alike. Is it a group of friends to support you on your day, or a drill team? I picked one designer, one color (a color that they ALL looked good in), and let them choose their own dress. It looked great, and everyone was happy.

We did the unity candle (mixed marriage, hence the unity candle and aforementioned hora) but we did not snuff out the side candles. I don't like what that represents, either.

And yes, we did have people lift us up in the chairs...that was quite an experience!

I believe the whole point of the bridesmaids dressing alike is so that they do not detract attention from the bride. But its silly to ask several women of different body types & styles to wear the same thing considering it could attract all sorts of bad attention to the women who don't wear it well.

My sister picked colors & a designer & then allowed us all to pick our own so that we matched but weren't dressed exactly alike. Its the best way to go.

WOW! That sounds so awesome! When is your big day?

;)

Dude. That is what happens when you post & a 7 year old is screaming his head off for ice cream. :rolleyes: I am such a dork.

Thank you!!!

I agree with this too. This past weekend, I went to what I personally thought was WAY too tacky for my taste.... But the bride and groom looked so happy, and that is all that mattered. Everyone still had a GREAT time! :)

I'm with you on this one. It's great if people want to do it... Both of my best friends did. But, it is not something that I will be doing at my wedding. It's just over the top cheesy for the kind of wedding that I would want to have. But like I said, great for people who it suits. :)

I still think you're the greatest! :)

I was a bridesmaid in two weddings last year. For the first, we had a choice of about 10 different styles in one collection...the only requirement was that it had to be lavendar and we needed grey or silver shoes. Two of us went with short sleeves, three had sleeveless and one went strapless...we all went with the dress we felt most comfortable wearing. There were six bridesmaids with a wide range of body types and I can't think of any style that would have flattered all of us. I know there's no way in hell I could have pulled off strapless! ;)

For the second, we went with separates. We were all going to wear the same skirt and have a choice of tops. It just so happened that we all liked the same top. :) (also had sleeves) I've worn that dress several times since the wedding...comes in handy for Jaycee banquets!

If someone's that insecure that she thinks the only way she'll look pretty at her wedding is if the rest of the bridal party looks hideous, that's sad.

Agreed.

I was at a wedding once where the bride and bridesmaids did something that I thought was very well thought out. One of the bridesmaids was very tall, one was very short, one was about 6-7 months pregnant, and the other two were of average height and build. The bride chose a fabric and a simple sleeveless empire-waist design, and had each bridesmaid's dress custom-made. So each woman had the same color and style of dress, custom-fitted to her height, weight, and (in one case) adapted for maternity. It looked very good.

Dollar dance is cheesy...and besides, I am worth FAR MORE THAN A DOLLAR! ;)

That's definitely part of it - if you have one girl in a long pink dress and another in a short peach dress it will be distracting. I remember reading an etiquette book saying that the reason the bride picked out bridesmaids' dresses is because if she waited for over 3 women to agree on all the details of their appearance she would never get married. Obviously she must have been to a rush party or two as well. ;)

When I was little, I used to see bridesmaids wearing different colors of the same dress, but that seems to have gone by the wayside. The same fabric thing is a good idea, but not everyone has access to that and it's also more expensive.

I think most women will try to be considerate and choose simple things for their maids to wear that flatter everyone to a point, but there are "bridezillas" out there that have given everyone a bad name and who do deliberately pick crappy dresses. I was at a wedding of someone who normally has exquisite taste and the bridesmaid dresses were the most hideous, cheap looking, ugly colored (they were a really muddy midnight blue) things I have ever seen.

If you want to have friends after the wedding, don't screw them before. :p

hahaha.. the rainbow weddings of the 70's! Every bridesmaid was in a different pastel color of the same dress. My cousin Linda had a wedding like that! And the guys wore brown tuxes with ties and cummerbund to match the dress of the woman they stood up with. HIDEOUS!

I think the idea of matching gowns for bridesmaids serves a couple purposes. It is easy to pick out the members of the bridal party and it looks nicer in photos. What if they all chose colors that really clashed with each other? And, you have to find flowers that would look good with each woman's dress too. Sounds like it would be a pain.

Dee

Now, I've been to 2 weddings with bands - I remember the first b/c it was SO bad, and the second I didn't even remember until I was just now posting - so clearly bands are not always better. I have been to far more weddings that had DJs. I certainly don't remember most, I definitely remember the BAD ones, but I can tell you that I still get compliments on how great my DJ was. And I'm in the ritzy NYC suburbs - can't get much snobbier than here. And as I said before, it certainly seems this area is starting to pick DJs more than bands now.

In regards to bridesmaid dresses, I told my girls the color and designer and told them to pick what they wanted. They said no way did they want the stress of picking a dress for someone else wedding! :D So I picked, I think they were happy, and they were only $70!

I've read the reason the bridesmaids dress alike and the groomsmen dress alike is that in "olden times" the bridesmaids dressed in the same clothes as the bride, and the groomsmen dressed in the same clothes as the groom so as to confuse any evil spirits who were trying to wreak havoc.

(I think today the evil spirit just inhabit's the bride througout her engagement... right down to the selection of the bridesmaid dresses!) ;)

I think the key words are "culture" and "tradition". I'll accept some things (ie: money dance or chicken dance) if that's part of your culture - just don't expect them at my wedding!

I've been in two "rainbow weddings", one as a flower girl, and the other about 15-16 years ago. Both times, I had to wear green. The second time, when people asked me my name, I told them that I was Miss Green. Why do people always assume that the redheads want to wear green?!

I think most of y'all know that I broke my engagement this summer, but I had pretty much planned a Christmastime wedding. I think they are GORGEOUS!! Somehow, the last time I spoke to the ex, it came out that he had never realized that I was planning for a December (what part of "which weekend in December is best for you?" did he not understand?!), and said that he didn't like the idea. Great - hope he finds someone who deal with his quirks and wants to get married in May or July!

Winter weddings are BEAUTIFUL! Especially if it snows. Too bad winters in Texas are more known for being gray and dreary than white and beautiful.

My main concern with a winter wedding would be that it's right in the middle of flu season. I wouldn't want to worry about everyone getting sick.

Winter weddings, IMO, are amazing. I had my whole wedding set around a kickoff to Christmas theme that had the flowers, centerpieces, & decorations follow the theme. We had to change the date to January so now I think I'm going to get rid of the Christmast decorations but keep the winter theme going.