Oh yeah? You motor boatin sonuva bitch u!

I thought my cousin was the epitome of rude when he called to RSVP people that weren't even invited. Now my future MIL has really taken the damn cake. There were people on her side that RSVP'd to say that they couldn't make it. The wedding is now 5 days away. She leaves a message on my phone informing me that some of these folks have changed their minds & now will go to the wedding so she told them it's o.k. She called to tell me that I have to change the count. R U fucking kidding me? The wedding is in 5 days. She wants me to call & add 10 additional people. I don't think so. I've been calling her but she won't answer her phone so now my fiance is waiting for her at her house to tell her off for being pushy, presumptuous, & rude.

(((((((((((((((((((BetteDavisEyes))))))))))))))))) )

Wow. I've had a mother-in-law and a future mother-in-law, but neither of them were quite this nervy! Of course in each case, I said that you may invite x amount of people, that's ALL. And that the caterer's cut off date was two weeks prior to the wedding - if she wanted to add someone, she must also take someone OFF of her list.

You poor dear. I'm glad to hear that your fiance has a spine, as it will make or break your marriage - and men like that are hard to come by!

I haven't sent out invitations yet (mostly because we haven't set a date yet) but this thread is already stressing me out.

Bump!
 

How long before your wedding should you send out invitations? No, I'm not getting married, just wondering as to why I haven't received an invitation for my friend's weddings. One is at the beginning of May, the other is at the end of May. The one getting married at the end of May sent "Save the Date" cards back in January I believe.

What is the proper time etiquette on invitations?

Maybe I'm just not invited?! :( JK, I'm the maid of honor in the one, but I should still get to see the invitation!

Re: Bump!
 

8 weeks prior for out of towners
4-6 weeks prior for in-town.

Thanks ladies!

Are guys supposed to get wedding gifts for other guys?

I mean what do you do if it's not the girl you know.

-Rudey

My friends got gifts for both of us; generally they got things off of the registry, or they gave us cash.

Yes. If you are invited to the wedding, you get them a gift. Gender doesn't get you out of spending money.

Re: Bump!
 

Also remember that not everyone uses the "Save the Date" cards. They're nice, but certainly not a necessity.

Yeah, I know. I'm bumping up a really old thread but I have lots of weddings coming up in the next few months that I will be attending and one shower invitation I received yesterday was classic. I had to share.

It's a very nice bridal shower invite for my hubby's cousin in a few weeks. Attached to the invite was a small note from the bride herself personalized to me asking me to please not embarass her by giving her a gift of naughty lingerie b/c she doesn't want her mother to assume she is only getting married b/c she wants to have sex. ROFLMAO!

Not sure what's weirder that she included the note or that she was that controlling over her shower invites.

That so deserves a pair of crotchless panties or something equally horrible.:p

That's the plan. So far, I have bought the book Great Sex for Dummies, a can of body cream, and am searching for something gaudy & tacky to wear. Preferable with fringe.

I'm in uber-bitch mode now.

Consider it done. :D

It will be well worth it as she is super conservative and LDS. Heh-heh! I can only imagine the shock on the faces of all those women.

if i may pop in for a second ladies!

my bff had a surprise bridal luncheon that i threw for her a few years back. one of our other girlfriends decided we should play games, and one of them was a 20 questions type deal. bff insisted we not go there, because she didnt want to tell the truth about anything, and had she lied, some people were tipsy enough to call her on it out loud.

as soon as someone asked the question "where did you two meet" she kinda sank down in her chair. i tried my best to save her by saying the mall, but one loud drunk screamed out "no it wasnt! it was on a phone chat line!!" all of our mothers cringed, the drunks laughed their asses off, and the younger girls took notes lol. and then, after about the 3rd fredericks of hollywood open-crotch panty set, i had to step in and take over. so yeah, its funny that it was included in the invitation, but she obviously knows her friends very well! be nice, dont embarass her lol! unless of course, she gets an attitude with you between now and then. in which case i would hire a stripper lmao!

This made me laugh. I was just at a bridal shower that played the 20 question game. I knew the bride had lied to her parents about where she met her fiance, so I called her over and asked what excuse I should be using. Fortunately she had got the courage to come clean to the family over the summer.

Whoa, unless they met in a sketchy chat room, I totally don't understand what the big deal would be!

Here's a random question:

My sister in law and I went to a shower for a mutual friend last month, and because my SIL was working two jobs at the time and wasn't sure she could make it at all, she made sure she had a card well in advance, so that in case she couldn't get a gift (off the registry or otherwise) she could at least put a check in the card so she didn't show up empty-handed.

When the bride opened the card, she made a big deal about just getting money (jokingly, but it still made my SIL feel awful), and then she mentioned again later that "only she would put money in a card and call it a day" in the thank you note. It should be noted that none of the stores where the couple is registered are anywhere near my hometown, where my brother and SIL live. Is that mean or ungrateful or are you really supposed to be sure to give a gift and only a gift at a shower?

I tend to get a giftcard to one of the stores that people register at - one because I really hate buying off a registry in the first place (I can almost never find the item unless it's at a certain popular bullseye type branded store that I used to work at), and two, because I worked at the bullseye, I always saw couples coming in after the wedding and buying a lot of the stuff that was on their registry and people didn't get (or they got part of it, say, a plate but none of the matching set) so I figure a giftcard to that store will help them fill out their registry. Should I be getting an actual gift? Thoughts?

I personally don't like giftcards or money as gifts. Part of giving a present is going to the trouble of picking it out, wrapping it, etc. Using a registry is good - at least you get to show some thought in what you pick out. Checks do seem somewhat of an afterthought, but given your SILs situation, it's understandable.

That said, NO BRIDE should EVER make a guest at a shower or her wedding feel that what he/she did was tacky. ANY gift is a wonderful gift - and to put a snide comment in a thank-you note is awful.

I never thought of it that way - I guess I'm thinking pragmatically like "oh this might offset some of the post-wedding, home-starting costs."

The nicest thank-you coming out of the shower? From the girls who planned it, thanking me for coming into town a day early so that I could help with the food and set-up. FWIW, I don't think I can get too upset about it because the bride sent a nice thank you note to me, expressing her regret that my boyfriend and I couldn't make it (cousin getting married the same day in a different state).

i dont know if this is a regional thing, and i scanned to see if i saw anyone mention it, but there is a practice here of having a bridal "showcase" for lack of a better word...

basically you register for the gifts and have them sent to your home, and they are displayed around the house with the purchasers name in front of it...so people walk around eating and talking about how Mary's cheap a** only got you a toaster, while Amy was SOOOO generous and sprung for that entire Rachel Ray cookware set...how ballsy is THAT???

Bridal Teas aka "Sip and See"
 

It is a southern "thing", and I don't much care for it. It was more widespread at one time - look at "Father of the Bride" with Elizabeth Taylor - but has died down somewhat.

I guess it would keep your guests from going too cheap, which I do not think is a lofty goal. :rolleyes:

For me a shower is normally where gifts are given just for the fun of breaking the bows off, etc and all those silly myths.

With that, a gift card/money/check whatever is just as happy in my home as a gift. I was more happy to see lots of friends in one place than any other part of the shower really.

And as for the "open" gift type parties, those are boring. I want the tacky bow plate rehearsal bouquet. So I need those gifts wrapped people!

Its not just a regional thing--its a cultural thing. I had a "sip and see" as well, although I would never EVER put people's names in front of the gifts. I wouldn't want my friends and family to feel embarrassed. The gifts took over my parents' dining room! Anyway, I think in the Greek culture its a left-over vestige of the times when brides had dowries and everyone in the village came to the bride's house to see.

Almost all of my gifts have not had a ribbon, so I have a pretty small rehearsal bouquet. I noticed that many of my gifts came with the price tag still attached! (Including a card I got yesterday.) My mom always taught me to remove pricetags from gifts before wrapping (there is a running joke at Christmas as to whose gift will have a tag attached). Is this the norm nowadays?

Umm NO. I can't believe anyone would be so tacky as to do that!!!

Thank you. I was wondering about that. I didn't notice the price tags at first, but my mom sure did when we taking the gifts out to the car.

Sorry - I did not mean to insinuate that it was ONLY a southern thing - but given that SBX is in Virginia, I thought I would address it from the southern perspective. So, it is a southern thing, and apparently also a Greek thing. Any others?

I like your idea of not putting the guests' names in front of the gifts - although you would have to be very, VERY careful about discussing that tacky gift with someone.

I think my mom told me once about a superstition that for every ribbon you break at your shower you'll have a baby! So perhaps they are saving you with not that much ribbon :)
One of my OOT friends brought us a gift to the wedding. It was in a gift bag along with the entire registry print out and a card she had forgotten to sign. Oh and with the receipt. Thank goodness THAT was in there or I never would have known who gave the gift!

At showers around here, the bride opens every gift in front of the whole group and announces who it is from so I don't see how the "sip and see" would be any more/less embarrassing or tacky than that. Either way, everybody knows who gave what. Gifts of money are also common and the bride generally opens the card, says "A gift of money from... " but doesn't say that amount. It seems to me that a sip and see would save the guests from a couple hours of "And this toaster is from my neighbor's great aunt's boss" that we have to endure. I kind of like the idea.

It's also fairly common to receive duplicate gifts so including a gift receipt and leaving the price tag on could ease the hassle of returning all those dupes. Some price tags are difficult to remove without destroying the packaging of the item. After all, the bride registered for most of the stuff, she knows how much it cost.

My family abandoned the broken ribbon tradition but did make the paper plate bouquet. The opening of gifts was usually done in a production line at the head table so things were all unwrapped by the time the bride got it. She just had to say what it was and who it was from.

This is a hijack, but I find it exceptionally funny at baby showers when the mom-to-be doesn't know what an item is and has to ask someone.

This is why I was very, very careful unwrapping our engagement party gifts... much to my mother-in-law's disappointment :p

Tell me about it! I attended a baby shower a while ago where mom-to-be didn't know what several of the items were. "Is this a onesie?" The kicker: She's a pediatrician!

My thoughts? The bride is a rude bitch. How tacky to say something like that at the shower and then again in the thank you card. Be grateful for whatever you get, no matter what it is and give a sincere thanks, not a bitchtastic card like that.

FWIW, cash/checks were the predominant gifts at my cousin's wedding in NY. Out here in CA it seems people are more likely to give you an actual gift.

i can see it now, standing next to someone who is mumbling "my god, WHO on earth bought her that awful cutlery?? and from Target? how cheap!" and YOU are the cheap tacky Target shopper lol!

my dad hates the idea of a registry at ALL and refuses to buy anything off of them! he feels they are rude by telling you what you have to buy, and he is going to give you what he wants you to have lol! i always tell him it is SO not that serious!

My roommate was invited to a wedding where the bride and groom asked people to buy them things for a trip around the world. I'm not entirely sure how they worked out the logistics, but their guests got them hotel rooms, dinners at restaurants, and other things for their trip.

Sounds way cooler to me than dishes!

There ARE honeymoon registries nowadays, but that isn't my style. Registries were established to set up a couple's household. And I will get VERY excited about china when the time comes!