I guess here the issue would be her commitment...I just DON'T see how she could keep the obligations of a sister and raise a child...I mean even some students have a hard time meeting requirements. Much less students with a BABY. Our chapter is too small for deadweight...even if she doesn't mean to be, she is. It would be different if she gave it up for adoption of course.

I agree with you...

But I really think that the membership decision and evaluation of commitment should be totally left up to her...NOT the chapter.

I accept your apology and allow me to proffer my own. What started as a congenial comment ended up in mini flame war and I really didn't intend it to go there. I almost never use the n-word myself and only did so to make my point.

Sweet Holy God.....


Did you seriously just place the term "GDI" in the same category as "Nigger"? This is easily one of the most idiotic things I have ever read on this board.


I hope you step in mud........soon.

One of the chapters I've worked with has had more than one member with a baby. In fact, both were mothers before they joined the chapter. It depends on the campus, really. This was a commuter campus where all the women lived at home with their parents. The one member I knew well had a lot of support from her parents who, in spite of her mistake early in life, wanted her to still have a "typical" college experience and helped her do that. She was everything BUT dead weight as she was the VPF. She had great grades and, from what I observed, was a good mom. Different chapters require different time commitments.

I was at that Convention, btw.

And, like Susan314, I am from a chapter in Michigan where the non-Greeks touted their GDI status proudly. They called themselves that more than the Greeks did. In fact, my own mother told me that she was a GDI when she was in college and was proud of it.. and she went to college in 1956.

I'm sorry if I've offended you 33girl. You may not find smoking a problem, but many find it to be a dirty habit which is often inflicted on those who do not smoke. I have no problem with smokers who are considerate of others. Pick up you cigarette butts and don't pollute an enclosed room. The culture of the campus dictates many of these rules. Sigma Kappa who is no longer on our campus actually required members to be sitting to smoke. Girls would go sit on the toilet in bars in order to smoke. Pretty funny if you ask me, but it's their rule. The drinking while dancing issue may seem silly to you, but it is very unladylike to slosh your drink around while dancing...possibly soiling someone else's clothes or shoes. Don't tell me that you have infinite control of the path of spilled alcohol from you glass as you swing around in a tipsy haze after one too many. The average college student would not. Lastly, if your sorority's creed or ritual has not changed you or made you more aware of you actions, then what is the point? Sororities are for a lifetime not because they give you a steady stream of drinking and smoking buddies but because they teach you to live by a standard. These standards may not specifically address drinking and smoking, but I'm quite sure most address presenting a good example to others, being considerate of your fellow man and not reflecting poorly on yourself or your organization. My sorority taught me that your actions reflect your character. You never have a second chance to make that first impression. Just like actives are always watching rushees to catch them slip...rushees and the rest of the world are watching you.

Where in the world is the GC member who has Gamma Delta Iota in there signature??? I would've liked to see what their opinion on all this was?

If I'm not mistaken, that'd be GDIfly.

Yes! Where are you GDIfly???

Thanks, Drolefille. Apology accepted. I really didn't intend for it to get so out of hand either, especially with you. I've always enjoyed reading your posts and found it strange that we were arguing.

I almost always rub people the wrong way on message boards, so I'm getting used to be disliked. I'm much nicer in person, honest!

Glad to finally have a truce. :) Phew! That was exhausting!

My mom went to school in the late 70's and got paddles with the GDI on it :D
Course I think she was a flirt cause she has a LOT of paddles from guys.
(I know I'm repeating myself but that was a long time ago)

It's interesting to see people think of GDI as a negative term. When I went through recruitment, one of the first things that happened was my RA called all the girls on my floor into a meeting and made sure we were all aware that after preference night, everyone would have "letters" associated with them, whether it be DDD, XO, or GDI. It was never a negative thing on my campus. In fact, the people here joke about it and even hold "GDI" parties and things like that. I think the phrase just depends on where you come from and what you've heard it as.

About members with babies, I think that it might be something that the chapter have general recommendations on based on the campus culture.

On some campuses, it's going to be no big deal, and the group might encourage women to stay active.

On other campuses, and this might seem superficial and wrong, it's likely to cause harm to the chapter in recruitment and reputation, and since it's difficult to imagine on some campuses how a person would handle both obligations well (again, it varies a lot by the campus), maybe a particular chapter could have recommendations that a young pregnant member go alum.

I don't want to see chapters cut people loose when the women most need support and help, but at campuses where greek life is a pretty superficial endeavor of rush, reputation, housing and parties, it's hard to see how staying active would be in anyone's best interest.

Maybe because I don't have kids, I make it out to be a bigger deal than it really is, but once you're a mom, it seems to be that your priorities ought to be different, and at some campuses, staying active would reflect trying to hold on to a lifestyle incompatible with good motherhood.

Ultimately, the final decision should rest with the member, but I do think the chapter should try to have general recommendations in place before the issue comes up.

My pledge class had at least two already mothers with adorable little boys and one girl who announced that she was pregnant before initiation. In addition to this, at that same time, we had a sister who was well into her "baby bump" within the chapter. While that was an abnormal baby overload at the time, we have had sisters with children in the past, including a 30 year old around 2003 or so with an eight year old. That's not the norm, but it's not unusual and right now we don't have any actives with babies. That's just our way I guess!

Those who "trumpet their class" are the antithesis of class.

I akin it this this line: "Those who truly have the right to be arrogant, never are."

AGDee and Susan314: I am also from Michigan, which may have something to do with our perception of GDI: we all see it as a non-negative thing, and we're all from the same area. Interesting.

When I went through, I was informed during Greek 101 [which all new Greeks must go to, mandatory, including NPHC, NPC and service/professional] that GDI, while composed of what may be considered negative words, is simply a designation. Basically, it's a way of 'separating' people like different GLO's do. I might say, "Oh, I saw Tony the Theta Chi today," so that everyone knows exactly who I mean. In the same way, one says, "Oh, I hung out with Sarah -the GDI Sarah - last night."

Re: GDI
 

I've heard people use the term proudly, or with disdain, and I have found it easier to just call them "unaffiliated" and leave it at that. I find it to be a neutral term and have yet to have anyone become upset by using it.

On a personal note I don't like the term Independent (regardless of what the GD is) because I am still an independent person separate of my letters, and am not dependent on them for my identity.

/thread hijack

My cousin is an AST from Eastern Michigan. I'm estimating that it would have been in the mid to late 80s - she's a few years older than me. Not sure if you were at that school in that time frame, but what a coincidence it would be if you happened to know her!

/end hijack

Yes. Thank you. That's what I'm saying. Don't confuse campus culture or etiquette with the values and aims written in your sorority's NATIONAL bylaws, or even your chapter bylaws for that matter. So many people come on here and say "we're not allowed to drink or smoke in letters" and then when they actually look in their chapter or national bylaws, voila, this "ironclad rule" is nowhere to be found. It's something more ambiguous like "present a good image." That varies WIDELY from place to place.

Do whatever you do on your campus, that's cool, but I think to be so severe as to call someone a "bad sister" if she doesn't follow these rules is a bit silly.

So true.

It would have to be late 80's because AST re-colonized at Eastern after I graduated but while I was an advisor and when the Lambda Chi's had to get rid of their Crescents. If I remember correctly, the Crescents wanted to be an NPC and AST was chosen, largely because EMU is their Alpha Chapter.

Being judgemental probably isn't in the bylaws, either.

I don't know if that's to me or to her, but I wasn't the one who said:

I was agreeing w/ you - rampant gossip running through the sorority re: who's been tempted to pose in Playboy isn't really Conduct Becoming A Sorority Girl, either.

I think I'd rather be in the house w/ a couple girls who f* up now and then but generally accept each others' decisions than the house with the stellar rep who maintains it by talking s* about each other and their choices.

I thought so, but you haven't been on in a while so I wanted to make sure your body hadn't been taken over by the Rules girls or something. :p

Oh. Right! Also, girls who smoke AND WALK AT THE SAME TIME are whores.

Better? :)

The one I love is no eating while walking. Obviously, this was thought up by someone whose town does not have a street fair with tons o' food and about 5 park benches.

OR hot dogs. Everybody loves hot dogs.

That reminded me - the Strutters are the SWTSU drill/dance team. They are practically a sorority in and of themselves (my mom and sister were Strutters). At any rate, after a full-colour picture of a Strutter in uniform at a game about to eat a banana (:eek: )made its way into the yearbook, they were forbidden from eating at the games. Yep, good times.

County fairs, parades, and carnivals aren't for the classy folk, you know. They are far above that:rolleyes:. People *gasp* smoke while standing at those things and might drink alcohol out of a bottle. And that, as we all know, is highly contagious and also deadly to those of superior class.

I love how reasonable debates get turned into soap boxes for people who can't see past their own ideas. Anyway, I find it completely disingenuous that you think image is nothing, 33 girl. You keep harping on these little, inconsequential rules that I mentioned which I already stated will not get you kicked out. It's not about being superior to others. It's about not thinking yourself above rules you agreed to follow. What if you decided that you don't need to go to your chapter's mandatory study hour? I personally think it is stupid to require adult women to study at a set time. My chapter didn't do study hours. What if you didn't want to wear the ugly, pink, polka-dot dress that the chapter voted in for a rush party? Can you just elect not to wear it? Why is image important? Image is everything in a sorority. See how many sisters you can intice when you have a bad reputation. Many closed chapters can answer that one for you. The rules I mentioned may be silly, but I guarantee that my drinking, smoking sisters didn't break them because the chapter meant more to them than exercising their rights to do what ever they wanted when they wanted. The real issue is making sure sisters follow the big rules. No....smoking in public does not make you a bad sister. My point was that people who continually break the rules (because the ones who are on the verge of being kicked out usually are this type) don't make good sisters.

The entire concept of etiquette, good manners, class - whatever you want to call it - is to conduct yourself in a way to make others more comfortable and to make yourself more likeable.

If you buy something to eat from a street vendor, fine. Find a bench, a wall, or someplace to stand and enjoy it - no one's saying you can't! But, if you decide to stroll while eating your taco, hot dog, coke, cotton candy, or whatever, think of what can happen. The crowd might be flowing just fine, until there's an obstacle. Then everyone stops suddenly - and the person in front of you is now wearing your ice cream, or whatever. Is that fair? Would you want that to happen to you? What if the person in front of you discovers that the pizza he just had sat out for too long and his stomach rebels before he can get to a inconspicuous spot? Do you want to deal with his upchuck?

Artists at street fairs aren't exactly thrilled to find mustard or cotton candy on their wares, either.

Same with smoking - I can't possibly be the only nonsmoker who has a burn mark from a wildly gesticulating smoker, whose lit ash landed on someone's clothing or skin. What if it had landed in someone's hair, especially in the highly lacquered big hair days? Do you want to be responsible for someone's disfigurement?

I could go on and on, but you're intelligent adults - figure it out for yourselves.

If I couldn't walk at a street fair with food.. well let's just say my hometown has the largest free street fair in Illinois. You don't buy Dippin Dots and sit down! And why do you think they put the alligator on a stick? Or the deep fried Snickers bar? They even have Calzone's on a stick. All for walking around. And never once have the craft booths complained about it.

Mishaps can occur while sitting or standing. I'm not sure how you can't gesticulate wildy while sitting. If you talk with your hands, you'll do that standing up or sitting down.

I don't think eating while standing makes one less classy or in poor taste if the situation is appropriate.

I beleive y'all are on the same page.

Sorry to break in here, I did not go through I-week, but I was a legacy and my mother, the ever-proper Southern sorority girl, had a few unbreakables, some of which were:

1. No gum-chewing ever.:rolleyes:

2. Do not smoke in public, but especially walking down a street.

3. Do not reapply makeup at the table.

4. Always bring a hostess gift.

5. Thank-you notes are a must.

6. Always stop one drink before you think you need to.:eek:

and, 7. Vulgar language denotes a vulgar upbringing. :cool:

Some are pretty dated and a little funny....(I chew gum on occasion and have been known to let an f-bomb fly), but most are so instilled in me, they are simply second nature.

I think your public actions send a message about your inner quality and when you represent a group, you better think doubly hard about how every decision affects both you and your org.

Thanks for letting be butt in. :)

If the rules say no eating while standing up at all, then I disagree. Particularly since she was suggesting not standing and eating at a street fair.

I have to say, as the mother of small children, if didn't occasionally eat while standing, I would starve to death.

My mom would agree :) There were four of us and swears she didn't sit down for about 15 years :p

Unless I am mistaken, I believe that honeychile was addressing the "eating while walking" comment. Not standing and eating.

My error, though the same rule applies... it's on a stick for a reason.

My opinion will always be that it is ok to eat while walking, if that's a hot dog at a ball game in the park, X on a stick at a street fair, or a pretzel while walking around the mall. Not a big deal. It's a context thing.