But JAM, this thread will never die. I hope to make it the first 25 pagers. ;)

If we all sing together maybe the missing penis will come back! :)

"The Penis Song" from the movie "The Sweetest Thing"
(To the tune "I'm too Sexy" by Right Said Fred)

(Chorus)
You're too big to fit in here
too big to fit in here
too big to fit in here

What a lovely ride
Your penis is a thrill
Your penis is a Cadillac
A giant Coupe de Ville
Your penis packs a wallop
Your penis brings a load
And when it makes a delivery
It needs its own zip code
Nine - double zero - penis

Repeat Chorus

Your penis is so strong
Your penis is so smooth
Your penis has got a rhythm
Your penis makes me groove
Your penis is a dream
The biggest one I've seen
It's oozy and it's green
(spoken) Ewww
(spoken) Sorry

Repeat Chorus
Repeat Chorus

Your penis is so big
Your penis is so thick
Your penis is so pretty
You've got a handsome dick

Your penis is so hard
Your penis is so large
My body is a movie
And your penis is the star
"Starring your penis"

Repeat Chorus
Repeat Chorus

thank you, i spit coffee all over my monitor. LOL

What is Jones Soda? :confused: I saw some at Panera today but was afraid to try it.

"The Petition"
 

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: I do physical labor. I work at great depths. I plunge head first into everything I do. I do not get weekends or public holidays off. I work in a damp environment. I don't get paid overtime. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation. I work in high temperatures. My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

***

Dear Penis, After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons: You do not work 8 hours straight. You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods. You do not always follow the orders of the management team. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing. You will retire well before you are 65. You are unable to work double shifts. You sometimes leave your designated work before you have completed the assigned task. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management

My brothers used to drink that stuff ALL the time. I tried the cherry stuff once. It's just soda with flavoring (to my knowledge).

so I lurked about and read this thread since it started...but I can't lurk anymore because that "song" is just TOO funny!

Gets my vote for the top 10 threads on GC-Chit Chat!

OMG I love that song!!! Too bad I can never find a copy of the movie with that in it... they're all edited :(

i have the unrated version and it's in that...

wow
 

this is too funny. lmao

Has the penis been recovered??

probably. he's been online a lot more lately.

OUCH!!!
 

The title of this thread... causes... me... pain!:eek:

Re: OUCH!!!
 

Aw, TP, did you really have to resurrect this?

Re: Re: Re: OUCH!!!
 

It was probably James who PM'd you. Maybe I shoud move this thread to Entertainment.

Re: Re: Re: Re: OUCH!!!
 

Thats just low to think that I would seek self-agrandizement for my traveling organ. I'm hurt.

<----Lower than whale feces.

the aforementioned penis was last seen heading for the border and a little bit of tequila.

I hope you meant it was heading for the boarder with a little bit of tequila...then again, a penis drinking tequila sounds very scary - and painful :eek:

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: OUCH!!!
 

I know you've heard this before in a place which shall remain unmentioned, but:

Have you checked both of your hands?

(Well, they thought it was funny in the other place)

This has been going on long enough.... whoever has this penis needs to spit it out!

a friend of mine had his penis cut today to remove a growth. how scary is that? you can just imagine all sorts of stuff.
or maybe i'm just a bit that way.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Thanks, Bethany, now I am mopping up the limeade I spit all over the place.
Just limeade - not the other item you mentioned.:p

That must have made somebody gag.

I think you're "just that way"!:p

Isn't it always the LAST place you look? HEY, maybe it's at Tom's house!

(J/J Tom!)

Come back, missing penis, come back!

Or maybe it's at his cigar store -- but I don't even want to think about that!

don't they clip cigars? ;)

http://www.noblecollection.com/image...log/NS9220.jpg

eek...
don't let it get lost in one of those massive snowdrifts. it could be a bit blue.

Found it! (The thread, not the penis).

This was quite entertaining.

So, James, how have you survived for a whole year w/o your penis? Is there such a thing as a missing penis survivors' group? Perhaps there should be....

I just websearched, this sort of problem is more common than I thought! :(

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/1274235.stm
"...While the sect members were on a house-to-house preaching mission, someone raised an alarm that his penis had disappeared..."
Could it have been... James?

I think the good news, is that since most men check it's still there at least every six minutes, the chances of an epidemic of missing penises (penii?) are thankfully slim.

Penii?? CTFU!!!!

I've always wondered about that...is the plural of the word penis then "peni" or "penises" or does it just stay as penis? How does that work?

Looked it up on the Oxford English Dictionary online just now. It's definitely 'penises' for the plural. Peni is an erroneous spelling used, so penises is correct.
Usage: "One of our penises is missing!" or "Sound the alarm, someone has stolen our penises!".

It also referenced this odd quote: 1929 D. H. LAWRENCE Paintings, 'What do you paint with, Maitre? With my penis, and be damned!'.

Perhaps in searching for James' organ we should search the art world? :cool:

I don't know what disturbs me more... that James' penis is still missing, or that we're still talking about it :confused:

Found it...
 

http://www.buffalocomedysportz.com/i...ge%20Links.jpg

...in my grocer's freezer. :eek:

Helloooooooooo!
 

you did not...
i rescued from a pile of chorizo sausage in a lower valley bakery.
they said it was lost and they were going to integrate it.
ish....
not burritos for this boy.

Classic . ..