I forgot to mention ...
 

Grandma Health Topic (What this thread was all about in the first palce...) was on again night before last (It is called the Sunday Night Sex Show). that woman kills me. She had a caller talking about how his ex used to be into s & m, and he wanted to get his new girlfriend into it. Weel, grandma's advice was to start of with something small, lik e adog collar that he could wear, and his g/f could put a leash on it and make him follow her around on the floor, "Like the bad poodle that I know you are. SHe could even spank you if you've been a really bad poodle." This gal is like 70! Imagine your grandmother. No, wait, I dont want to.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. This woman kills me.....

"Off color?" I think this thread is more "Off scent"

I think its hygenic to soak the guys "stuff" in clorox and then boil it for 5 mintues to be sure...lol.

So my roommate, me and my sig ep adopted big bro are all sitting here laughing our asses off and all of you guys! Another one for the books though:

One of our chapter sisters is a nurse. While working in the ER a man came in that was extremely ill. He had not defacated in a month and when XRayed they found a vibrator in his anal orfice. So, the look furthur into this and they find that gangreen (spell) has set in and if they remove the vibrator his body will go into shock because it has been there for a month.
The man actually died from this.

Moral of the story, GET IT OUT!!!!!

On another note, ever had a bikini wax? Pain, people, pain.. I hear it is easier the second time and then even easier the third and so on... anyone know that? I cannot believe this thread btw.

is that question directed toward general body hair, or is it in flow with this sex thread and deals with pubic hair? That would be very painful, i'd go for the spray-on-wipe-away stuff instead.

Epil Stop-and-Spray is a CROCK! I bought it and it didn't even take ONE HAIR off my legs! It was horrible, so I had to return it! "just spray and wipe away", my arse! :mad:

hahahahaha OMG that Epil Stop and Spray stuff is such a rip off!! I tried it this past summer!! it didnt work at all! I too took it back. I wish there was something good like that though! they would foreal make soo much money! Has anyone tried that Nads stuff?? does it work well??


Nichole

too funny
 

ok a few issues to address here

hehe

ok
NADS works but wax is still better period -- besides i wont let my hair get long enough for nads to work ugh!!

as for vegitarians and flatulence -- BEANO is my suggestion --- it digests the plant cellulose because our bodies cannot...

and as for meat "decaying" in our bodies -- well if anything "decayed" in our bodies we would be in serious trouble!!

thats called gangrene -- it kills ya :)

BTW this is the most hilarious thread ever!!!

i cant remember how much i have laughed --- but ive learned a lot too lol

[QUOTE]Originally posted by ErikaXO
Well, Shultzz, rumor is that women hit their sexual peak in their 30s. I don't know.

Lifesaver, I will make this as simple as possible. Let's just say that female A and Male B were engaging in some intimate activity. They had been at one of those sex toy parties with a bunch of their friends and they had picked up a whole little treasure trove of stuff. While they were playing with the contents of their new toy box, female A began to play with the previosuly mentioned beads on male B. Female A successfully used said beads for their intended purpose on male B and started to get, well, careless? So on the second go-round, female A wasn't paying enough attention and wasn't holding securely to the end of the string, and POP! The last bead disappeared into male B and left female A gaping in near-hysteria. Well when female A broke the news to male B, male B was, well, moritified. Determined to avoid a humiliating encounter at the ER at all costs, he submitted himself to female A giving her instruction to do WHATEVER she had to do to get them out!!!!! Female A, laughing so hard she was nearly peeing the bed, then had to perform a relatively embarrassing minor surgical procedure on male B to remove the offending beads, which left female A and male B far more intimately and physically bonded than even they ever wanted.

'Nuff said?:o [/QUOTE

Does female A go by the name Erica and male B go by the name Brent?

GAWD, this is more than I want to Know About!:o

I think its like amycat and erika said, when you get older, your "tastes" change. But for now, I'm at phase 1 in the sex-experience dep't, where you see stars and feel the magic just doing it the old fashioned way with the guy you love.

To me there is nothing like a nice massage or warm bath with your lover to make it "just right." As far as taste or scent goes, I'd deal with it as it happens and as I feel. If it seems right to me, then OK, else I'd ask him to clean, brush, gargle, or whatever...and he'd do it gladly.

As far as beads go...those are things I catch at Mardi Gras. And ya, I like oral (to a point) but if we kiss afterward its cuz both he and I spontaneously want to, and not because we want to "prove" something.

Also, a woman gets in differing moods. What may be desirable one day, may not the next. And I don't believe either partner should coerce the other or make them feel less than or guilty if they do or dont do something the other wants.

Well said as usual, H2oot......

Skip I am going to assume you picked up the names from prior posts, because if you are someone we know I am going to die......

Hey Skip-ers...I assume you're teasing with the naming thing...its prolly better if you left the personal references out. In fact it wouldn't hurt to show some decorum and edit the post.

Yes, please.......thanks, H2oot. Granted I kind of opened the can of worms by putting that post out there but we have all been open with each other about sexual talk. I tried to be as discreet as possible, can we leave it at that? And thanks James for pointing out to me that names were being mentioned.

epilstop
 

yeah kids..don't use this stuff, i've been working in the claims dept at an insurance agency and there are sooooooo many claims against the company that makes epil-stop because of people getting burns from it

Yes, for God's sake don't use Epil-Stop!!!!! I tried it and though it did remove about a six-inch patch of skin it left the hair quite intact. I have that really resilient, dark, non-sensitive skin that you can practically take a blowtorch to without a problem. That stuff instantly started to burn and my skin popped out in this red rash....it was terrible.

I found Nad's to be a big jar of horsesh*t too. It's sticky, messy, yucky, and I didn't think it worked.

The best policy is this: if you need hair removal that you either can't or don't want to do by shaving, then go have a professional do it. It seems expensive, but considering that you only have to go once to get it done right and you aren't wasting tons of cash on crap that doesn't work, it is rather cost-effective. A good waxer won't need to do you near as often as you'd need to do yourself.

This stuff is hilarious...disgusting at times....but hilarious. I was kind of lost on some things, until they were clarified. (the pineapple juice):p

Re: Ok, now I am confused...
 

OMG! I'm so glad I work alone, because I just died laughing out loud! However, I was wondering the same thing...

And yes. Guys who aren't circumsized definately have a smell. This one guy I was with always wanted me to go to town, but I couldn't because of the smell. Now the guy I'm in love with at this moment, his does have a smell but it just attracts me. It's so weird. It's like a good smelling cologne attracts u to the guy.

They can stick it in a pineapple pie. :D

I dated a swimmer for a year and he shaved "down there" and I did notice that things were much nicer...and I hate to sound just mean, but it helps if someone isn't too overweight. I'm not going to go any further! :eek:

This topic is so amusing that i feel i must BUMP it

There are nearly no words for how shocking/disgusting this is!!! :eek:

Whoa.

I come back from a semester away and this is what's up.

To answer the first question, it depends on how attracted you are to the person--if you are, sometimes it doesn't matter.

Has anyone gotten the Brazilian done? I'm sorta kinda considering it.

I was wondering the same thing. I'm very curious. If I were not so shy about the idea of being naked in front of a stranger, who is not a doctor, oh yeah, and the pain, I would do it...maybe?

Shaving is such a pain b/c it's such a sensitive area.

I think we should start a thread on this subject...

Yu all are crazy, cant spell blithering!

Something like that with a Lady turns me into an idiot! OK I know but even worse!:D

But it has been such a long time that I couldnt do anything about it anyway except think about it!:(

How did I miss this? What was that guy thinking. Gross

OMG! Can I just say that tis is the FUNNIEST thread ever?!?

Whoever called it SMEGIE??? Sounds like a cute furry little animal LOL

And just the whole entire thread has me officially unconcious from laughter. Lifesaver, you HAVE to be my new GC crush, because the original post...is my junk stank? LOL!!!!!!

I can't live without it! I get a FULL (yes thats everything including bend over and smile!) wax done every 6 weeks. I highly recommend brazilian waxing and I swear it really doesn't hurt all that much. Just be sure that the place you go to doesn't use strips to pull the wax off. Thats what causes the pain. They should use their hands to pull the wax.

Something about that stuck me as funny. lol. Thanks for the laugh.

I have had the BRazilian done one time-- it was weird seeing myself bare. Then went I went a 2nd time to do it-- It hurt so bad I jerked my leg-- and had purple bumps and it was bruised. I couldn't even let the lady finish the job. I think they must have switched their wax and were using different gloves bc it didn't hurt like that the first time. Now I am scared to ever get waxed again- even regualr bikin waxes. I wish I had a lot of money so I could get electroylisis.

:D any time!

I nearly pee pee'd on myself reading this! IT IS SO TRUE!!!!!! There is nothing worse than when the undies/crotch/junk smell like urine or poop!!!!!!!!LMAO!!!

I don't eat much on dates, don't want to stressover having to do "something" before it gets interesting...

The pineapple juice does work...Know from personal experience...

I'm too embarassed to get waxed :( I want to, though...Any advice on getting over the embarassment, ladies????

I'm glad you all agree. I was wonderig if I was a freak or something! LOL

Anyone see the recent episode of SATC where this was a topic, kissing after he's dined at the Y???

Why be embarrased! Don't be! Thats a waxers job. Besides how many women do you think she sees in a day? Its all routine for them so its not like the'll be checking you out or anything.
Go with a friend so you have a little support.:)

I'm sooo glad that I work by myself!!!! LMAO!! :D

What do you mean "use their hands to pull the wax?"

I totally agree with ZTAMiami; there is no reason to be embarassed... that is the waxer/aesthetician's job and they wouldn't offer that service if they weren't comfortable performing it. I have had the Brazilian many times... I don't think it hurts although I was so very nervous the first time. Try not to be nervous or stressed... it is when you are tense that you flinch and bruise more.

Here's a Brazilian question for you all... how much does it cost at your salon? I know places that charge from $30 to $75 so I was just wondering how much it is everywhere else.

They pick it up and pull it off with their hand other than those white strips thet they press on and yank off.

Pricewise: I pay about $45 I think. Its less if you don't take it all off.

Ouch! That sounds even more painful, like the hair wouldn't come out and they would have to yank really hard! :eek: