Aw, congrats to your daughter and her friend, AuburnMom85! :)

Congratulations to them both! The handful of AGDs I know IRL (no chapter at my school) and the AGDs I've "met" through GC are all such lovely women.

My heart breaks for C, though. It can't be fun to get The Phone Call. I hope she finds her niche on campus, whether through re-rushing or getting involved in other activities or whatever.

Oh hooray! I do love a happy ending :)

Congrats AuburnMom85!

Alpha Gam is such a strong sisterhood & your daughter must be tickled that B will be her sister :) So thrilled it turned out to be a happy ending for A & B...now next year you can relax & enjoy things from the other side...ENJOY!!

congratulations auburnmom85, on a terrific recruitment story and especially on the happy ending! please DO stay with us!

A fantastic group EVERYWHERE! Congrats to our two newest sisters. We are very excited for them (and you).

I agree 100% with FsuZeta

Woooo!!
 

Yea for more baby squirrels! I love all of the Auburn AGDs that I have met over the years. (Won't say the same for the football team!:p)

Congratulations to the lovely New Members of Gamma Delta Chapter!:D

My daughter went through rush at Auburn this year and it did not go well.

She is a cute girl with a lot of friends and from out of state. By the last day she had two choices left and she disliked both of them so she decided to withdraw rather than getting a bid from one she did not want to join or getting shut out completely.

It was very hard on her. Part of her vision of college is being in a sorority and she is very much the "sorority type". All of hers and our friends are very suprised that she did not get into a sorority. Even worse, every one of her close friends got in a good sorority as did all the girls from her HS. It has really been a bad week for her.

Classes began yesterday and she is doing a good job of looking forward and anticipating other activities/organizations. She has already applied to an organization and it would be great for her if she gets into it. The oncoming stress of classes will distract her from thinking about it, too.

In the meantime she has registered her name for COB and is doing her best to get the word out that she is interested. The chances are slim, but it's the best option right now. As time goes on the shock and disappointment of fall rush will lessen and she will be ok and hopefully she might get a bid someday.

I'm sorry she had a frustrating experience, but I know there were a lot of women who would have loved to had two houses left for prefs.

She should be prepared that COB is limited to sororities not at total, and that there are a lot of people who could potentially fill the unfilled spaces.

If she keeps an open mind, and doesn't have her heart set on one or two places, she might find a home.

But remember that there is a difference in getting sacked from recruitment and withdrawing from it.

1. It is bad form on this board to rain on someone's thread. This post should be elsewhere.

2. Sorry your daughter didn't get into a "good" sorority.:rolleyes: She probably could have been Greek if she had filled out her pref card. Seeing how all chapters made quota, I highly doubt anyone is COBing. On the off chance that there are chapters COBing, it would probably be the ones she deemed herself too good to join.

3. Check out this post.

This line should be stickied, tagged, and quoted often - especially for the ultra-competitive recruitments!

Yes, sucks to be her, being too good to join a perfectly good chapter. Since even chapters that were struggling a few years ago are at total now, her chances are slim.

I'm sorry that your daughter feels that she had a less than successful recruitment, but the reality is that she didn't. She had two houses who invited her to preference and she CHOSE to withdrawal.

I don't mean to be harsh, but you invaded another person's recruitment thread with whoa's about your daughter and how great she is and how the "good" sororities dropped her. You aren't going to get any sympathy from us.

The many PNM's who were completely released from recruitment would have killed for those 2 invites to pref that your daughter got but turned down.

Mutual selection. If she is not happy to join a chapter, it is not mutual selection. Chapters do have personalities, and not every one is right for every woman.

hmills2, I do hope your daughter is able to find a home with mutual interest, whether in the Greek community or outside.

Yeah, but 99% of the people in the above situation simply think they are too good for certain chapters, though they use euphemisms like "I don't fit" and "I didn't feel a connection". I'm sure this woman could have been happy in one of those two chapters, if she wanted to be happy in one of them. The disconnect is women thinking they belong in Phi Beta Popular, when they really do not.

You posted before that she was "sacked" from recruitment. I felt really awful when I read that, but your daughter was not sacked. She turned two wonderful chapters down so I don't see why you are looking for sympathy on here, you likely won't find it.

She did post elsewhere and got sympathetic responses, she left out that her daughter wasn't actually sacked though.

Where do you get your statistics on this 99%? Sorry to snark, but there's a poster (can't remember who) who gets very hung up on stats and where they came from...

I really see both sides on this and know that there are probably many PNM's who feel "above" certain chapters, but there are some that just don't "feel right" being in certain chapters. We should not blame them for taking a bid away from another woman who might really love that house. So instead we snark at the PNM, and I personally don't like that. They're told to "go out and find your home" in formal recruitment, and they didn't. Pat them on the back and tell them your sorry, and move on. Maybe she could have been happy in that house, or maybe she would have made a bad decision that locked her to that bid for an entire year. Who knows? But we do know we can't change it now with our snarky advice.

But why then, don't we snark about our own NPC organizations when the MUTUAL SELECTION process fails a perfectly wonderful PNM who is dropped from the system completely? We don't, because God forbid, we say something terrible about the system that we are a part of already...

OK, I get the gist of it. Bye.

Goodbye. Your daughter was not sacked and is not a unique snowflake.

I think we're all reasonable enough to point out that the system isn't perfect on either side.

When you have that volume of people being shuffled in and out over a short period of time, both sides of the equation are going to make snap decisions which may or may not be rational, grounded in fact, etc. If we were to give every single person the thorough vetting, "rush" would last 3 months.

The difference, in my opinion is that the sororities have been participating in rush for years, so they likely have more practice at making quick decisions with better end results.

I'm not saying that you should 'settle' for anything, but what are the odds that in two 100+ member organizations, any young woman couldn't/wouldn't find her niche?

I agree with most of this, but does the bold part give us license to snark at them like we have a superiority complex or something?

These 19-22 year old women are doing formal recruitment for (on average) 3 times total (soph, jr, sr year). Yes, there are advisors, yes, the wheel isn't invented over and over again, BUT they're still young and making rash decisions like the PNM's.

The system isn't perfect. I just hate seeing people kicked and snarked at when they're down. Furthermore, finding a "niche" is far different than finding a "home". They're 18 years old and under the impression they're looking for a "home".

Stop acting like you're above it. See below.

And I apologized for it! But the fact of the matter is, there really is a poster who will challenge you on where statistics come from, so if you throw it out there, you should be willing to back up the claim. Otherwise it's just nonsense.

I also wasn't snarking and beating down someone who is already LOW and SAD. That would be referred to as BULLYING. Which takes me back to my original point - can we just be a little nicer? I know that there those who feel "above" certain houses, but some just don't feel the "connection" we tell them to look for. Let's quit kicking people when they're already down.

If I could point out one other thing: I don't have any personal connection with Auburn and the only info I have on their recruitment is what I have read on this site (including the link to their recruitment brochure). From what has been posted, every chapter at Auburn attained quota. Not knowing anything about the 2 chapters in question that hmills2's daughter was invited back for pref, we don't know if those chapters are at or above chapter total. If they were pushing chapter total at the time, it is possible that the daughter may have taken a bid from a girl who only had one pref invite or really liked that house and suicided for it.

Like most here, when I read the post about the daughter dropping because of 2 invites she "didn't like," I was not overly sympathetic and immeadiately thought of the poster, Wareagle, who was completely dropped from Auburn recruitment but showed lots of class about it on this site.

With that said, I think we can all agree that PNM's should at least go to the parties where they are invited, even if their favorite houses dropped them. As far as pursuing membership, that is a decision each woman must personally face.

I suggest we go back to a positive spin.

^^Like and agree!

I'm an ex-lurker, but felt compelled to comment on this thread! I discovered GC about a month before my own OOS daughter went thru rush at Auburn! Ever since it's been my own guilty pleasure.

Most of the advice on these boards is invaluable! Anyone that has looked around on these boards has read about how competitive rush is at Auburn (and at most SEC schools!) Because there are so many great girls in the process, some of those girls are going to slip thru cracks. Is the process flawed -- yes. But, it's the only process there is. And, although some girls get hurt, for the most part it does work.

What bothers me, is the perception of "good" houses. And, honestly, my daughter and I had those perceptions prior to her own recruitment experience. We talked about having an open mind, but after the first round, I think her ranking was somewhat biased by those perceptions.

My daughter had what most would consider a tough rush experience, despite having a nice resume. First round was perfect. Then came the axe! After the 2nd round, she was only left with only one favorite -- a house that most would not consider a "top tier" house. Her legacy chapter released her (I didn't go to Auburn.) She did have an almost full schedule, but she had to take a new look at houses that weren't on her radar the day before. She was very lucky, because in the end, she received a bid from her favorite! But, even if she had not, she was determined to find a sisterhood.

What have I (as her mom) taken away from this experience?
1. There are NO "bad" chapters at Auburn -- when you have this competitive of a rush, all the chapters fill their pledge classes with incredible young women. Who decides anyway, if a chapter is "good" or not? Some chapters may be higher profile, but it doesn't mean that they are any better. Joining an organization for "status" may not be the best reason to be there.
2. There are more similarities than differences among the chapters. Every chapter has bookworms, massive party girls, involved girls, etc.
3. Please remember, when you label chapters, that the labels hurt the women within those chapters.
4. Life isn't always fair. Yes, I wish my daughter had had a perfect rush experience. But, I firmly believe it worked out the way it was supposed to, and there were a few life lessons along the way!

Greek life is not for everyone. For me, it has been a great experience. For some, like me, it will be life long experience, that I'm so happy to have. That's what I hope for my daughters as well. And like anything else, the more you put into it, the more it will give back to you!

Okay -- I will get off my soapbox now, but I feel much better!

Tigerfanx5 AWESOME POST

If you were actually "sorry", you wouldn't have said anything. It's like saying, "No offense, but..." Whatever. Substitute "99%" for "pretty much everyone".

I don't think it's bullying by pointing out that the woman in question does not have to be sad and calling out what is almost certainly her/her daughter's true feelings.

Fabulous post, Tigerfan!!

HAHA! Thanks! I was nervous about making my first post! :)

Ditto!!!

It has been said on this site before by women smarter at this stuff than me that "not feeling a connection" may be an actual reason to quit if you have a chapter of, say, 30 girls. I still say with a group like that one or two new members can really change the dynamic of a group. But in a chapter of 200 women I patently do not accept the no connection argument. Presuming 3 rushers at each party up to preference, that's 9 girls, about 60 minutes TOTAL. And let's say going into rush a chapter has 120 girls. That means the rushee met 7.5% of the sorority members. Even the most cookier cutter of a chapter has more personality diversity than THAT.

But if she's going to flounce off, it's better for her to do it before preference because all the chapters at Auburn make quota and she is going to free up a space for a girl who appreciates what she has.

Definitely agree with the comments above! When the chapter size is around 200, there is something for everyone. I feel the "no connection" is a cop out. Remembering my own daughter's experience, she said some of the girls that rushed her at the "top tier" houses were "awkward" as well. Rush can be awkward experience, and it's hard to connect meaningfully with anyone in that environment. A lot of times preference round is when girls actually get the opportunity to see more about the chapter without all the background noise.

As much as I wish that she had gone to preference and given the last 2 chapters a chance, it's probably for the best that she dropped out. If some of the chapters COB, I hope she goes into it with an open mind and heart.

I think part of the problem is that girls still expect to walk into the chapter room and have this epiphany that "This is home," but a lot of girls don't get that right away (or not until initiation.) If its not for you, its not for you, and its better to walk away beforehand than after initiation.

Several chapters at Auburn had COB in spring last year but not all of them. Girls need to be open minded though....

It's the unicorns pooping rainbows fallacy. It doesn't happen. This is the same reason a lot of girls depledge after 2 weeks. They don't have friends who break out in song every time they walk through the door. Formal rush is a bizarre completely contrived way to make friends, but unfortunately it's the system we're stuck with. And at places like Auburn, Bama, Ole Miss, you take the leap of faith when you have the chance or you likely will never get that chance again. Not never - girls do rush as sophomores and get in - but unlikely.

Tigerfanx5, your daughter's recruitment sounds so much like the experience that my daughter had, as well. I suspect that it is the same experience shared by many, many girls at Auburn. In my daughter's case, it wasn't that she didn't like the groups that invited her back to pref, it was that she had been focused on a couple of other groups and her pref invite chapters just hadn't been on her radar as much. Was she madly in love with her chapter on bid day? Probably not. Is she madly in love with those girls now? Absolutely!

pam713 -- I agree with you! I think most of the stories are more like our daughters. I'm so happy for both of them that they stuck it out until the end! I think most of these stories truly do have a happy ending, even if the journey was a little rocky.

I guess going in everyone thinks that it's going to happen to someone else, but not me. Then when the reality check comes, some can't or don't want to handle it.

There's no way to make some people understand that all the chapters at Auburn can provide incredible lifetime opportunities. I think that's sad!

I was thinking of those earlier posts, too. If you're a fit for Auburn, and you're a fit for SEC sorority life in general, it's just hard to imagine that you can't find friends in any group of 200 peers. Sure, I've known women who truly couldn't be comfortable in XYZ at Auburn, but they don't belong in an Auburn sorority at all.

Exactly. But it's easier to blame it on the individual sorority than to admit that kind of sorority life just isn't "you" - especially if you've grown up thinking that it should/would be.

Greek life in general is not for everyone, and Greek life at every school is not for everyone. Yes, there are people who can go from Traditional Southern School to West Coast Hippie School to Jersey Shore School and enjoy them all equally, but they are few and far between.