I agree! Maybe all three will give us the real names of (at the least) their pref houses. That would be better than nothing!

I have also been wishing that we knew the real names. It would be cool if Emma, Cassie, and Suzie have met or even ended up in the same house.

I had thoughts that we could perhaps private message each other at least at the pref round to see if there is overlap, but I don't want to do anything to reveal who the girls are.

Cassie thought today was fine, but she is still losing her voice and her favorites are still the three from yesterday, Chocolate, Cake Batter, and Cookies and Cream. The others in her top 7 are Pralines and Pecan, Vanilla, Peach, and butter pecan. Of the 5 others she cut, there is one-maybe two- where she thinks she might be happy. The other 3 she isn't wild about.

She is trying not to get her hopes up, because she knows the coming cuts will be rough, but I can tell by her voice that she will be very disappointed if Chocolate and Cake Batter cut her. She is also worried because for the most part, her top 7 are probably the more competitive sororities.

Send up a prayer for all the PNM's and lets hope Cassie, Emma, and Suzie all
get good news tomorrow morning.

AUmom2010- I just sent you a private message

Basically her perception was that for those groups for which she had obtained a rec letter, she was matched with a hostess who "miraculously" had something in common with her - maybe it was her sport, maybe it was the same state, etc. But with the groups which she had not obtained a rec letter for, she seemed to be paired with a hostess who had been picked at random....and as a result there was no common interest. Needless to say those parties didn't go as well. So the rec letters cut both ways - 1) the sororites won't know about you, and you're more likely to get lost in the shuffle and cut; and 2) since they're not as prepared for you, you might not feel a connection and won't like them quite as much and are more likely to cut them.

One more thought on rec letters for Auburn.

I don't know what percentage of PNM's at Auburn obtain rec letters. I was told by the mom of the only AU active we know that the number was around 90%. That sounds kinda high to me. But even if it's only 70%, or even lower, there is going to be a huge competitive disadvantage to not having rec letters at AU.

We started working on ours around May and if I could do it over again I would've started earlier. They take longer to get than you think. Plus, once you find an alumna who will agree to write one, she may go on vacation for a month (this actually happened) or there could be something else that may come up to delay the letter going out (one of our rec letter writers had moved to another state and we sent it to an old address).

One of the reasons that I decided to do this thread was sort of as a thank you to all the GCer's who put all of this useful and important info about sorority recruitment on this site. For someone like me, an old fraternity guy, I really didn't have much of clue about sorority recruitment other than that I knew it was pretty big deal to the girls. Most of what I now know has come from GC.

Auburn Dad- I agree having recs is helpful for both sides, the more you know about a young woman the better questions you can ask and therefore you end up having a better connection.

Emma is lucky to have a Dad that cares so much, and thank you for letting us participate in her adventure!

M

Totally agreed! :)

From this point on, will rec letters matter much, other that the fact that you have one on file? Will GPA still matter? Cassie said she heard some folks saying that maybe this round your resume would be what they would focus on.

Had a final chat with Emma tonight. She is losing her voice as well and has a sore throat. Your thoughts and prayers are appreciated for these girls.

[QUOTE=aumom2010;1966983]From this point on, will rec letters matter much, other that the fact that you have one on file? Will GPA still matter? Cassie said she heard some folks saying that maybe this round your resume would be what they would focus on.

from this point on- GPA and resume doesnt really matter that much- looking for personality and if rushee fits in with the group!

Regarding the grades and resume, I think (can't say I KNOW for sure since houses and campuses vary) that those are really elements used for cuts right at the beginning. If your grades aren't there, you don't pass go. Period. I suppose the resume could be used when they have to eliminate a few more girls and can't decide, but mostly by now it's conversation skills that mean the most.

I wish these girls and all the others a good outcome with recruitment. It's such a lousy way to make friends but what you end up with is so great, you just have to do the best you can.

And I vote for sharing, afterward, what all the houses were. The parents on this board have been exemplary for not speaking ill of any groups, so even mentioning the ones that were "cut" early shouldn't be seen as offensive or hurtful by anyone. I think it would be very interesting to see if 3 different gals who don't know each other saw the houses in a similar light and could be helpful for future gals to see that there is not a single BEST house. Unless of course these 3 actually did see the houses the same way. And that would also be interesting!

moms and dads-suggest that your daughters drink hot tea with lemon or lime and honey after the parties. it will do them good.

I will pray for world peace, food, shelter and clean water for everyone in the world, relief for all who are suffering in any way, for good luck for the auburn pnms and all the other pnms at other schools AND for regina.george to just go away.

^^^ What she said! Prayer for those who may be hurting is always appropriate!

I afraid that I have not so great news this morning.

Cassie was cut by all of her top 7 choices.

She has 3 invites for skit day.

(1)Strawberry--Which she likes the girls, but has heard that they are a party group, and that worries her.

(2)Chunky Monkey--Which is actually supposedly one of the better groups, but she has not felt at home there all week.

(3) Cookie Dough--Which she says she will definitely not pledge.

She was obviously upset this morning, and feels like everyone else will have a full schedule, which I tried to assure her was not true.

I tried to urge her to go through the day with a positive attitude and try to see how she might fit in with either of the first two groups. I think we are both worried that she might not get any invites for the preference round, but i guess we will worry about that tomorrow.

Well said! :) Cassie, Emma & Suzie will be in my prayers!

aumom, I'm sorry that Cassie's feeling down about her invites. When I rushed and was cut from my top choice, I was given the words, "go where you're wanted, why would you want someone who doesn't want you?" and that really made all the difference in the world. I knew that the girls who would become my sisters had invited me because they wanted me to be there. It was a warm fuzzy for me during a tough emotional time.

Day 5
 

Emma texted. There is good news and bad news.

The good news is that she has a full slate of 7 for Skit Day!

The bad news is that she was cut by two of her favorities, the Diamondbacks and the Blue Jays. She was particularly surprised by the Blue Jays because so many of them came up to her to talk to her during her last visit.

Today she will visit the following, again in no particular order:

Angels
Dodgers
Rays
Reds
Cardinals
Cubs
Angels
Pirates

She still has two of her favorites left, and does like something about each of the remaining groups she has left.

I hope to update again to tonight.

At 17 (or 18 or 19), life's disappointments are incredibly painful because we don't yet have the experience or resilience built up to understand that everything happens for a purpose, which may or may not be easily discerned. There are so many "firsts" to go through which shape and form us into the people we are to become.

And as parents we want to protect and shield our children; it is also difficult to trust the process. We do not want our children to hurt, although we know that life does hold bumps and bruises as well as elation and joy. How many times did I have to hear "life is lived forwards, understood backwards" before I truly understood and accepted what that meant? When you're in the moment, it's not easy to apply that. Believe me, I know.

My heartfelt belief is that "our" Greek Chat Auburn parents and daughters will find the strength to follow the paths they've set out upon, because I've been touched by the stories they've shared thus far. I am sending you all strength, confidence, and best intentions for outcomes (that may surprise you - how many times have we read about surprises? lots!). Please know that I am thinking of you all (as well as all the other young women and parents who may be reading this while going through recruitment), and I've been privileged to share your stories.

Deep peace to everyone.

While it may be a little disappointing, I'm sure all the chapters she'll visit today are still wonderful chapters to belong to. Good luck to her, and I hope she finds her home at the end of the week!

It is so hard for the girls on either side of the process to get a true picture of what the other is like in such a short timeframe. :)

AUMom, My niece went through recruitment 6 years ago at a competitive PAC 10 school. She had the perfect recruitment up until Pref where she was dropped from every group she LOVED and left with 2 groups that she thought were just ok. I got a phone call in tears over what she should do, what happened ect. I told her she had 2 options. She sticks it out and attends the 2 preference parties and makes a decision then OR she could drop out and forget about being Greek and move on. She chose option number 1. She pledged this group and the weird thing is it was a perfect fit for her. She didn't realize it at the time. She still is wistful for one group on campus (which cracks me up), but she has now graduated. She had a wonderful sorority experience and made life long friends in the process. BTW, she is as crazy about recruitment as I am:)

I feel for your daughter. It is so hard when your kids have disappointments in life. I always want to take away all the hurt. I think your daughter has a good chance of moving forward and I hope she gets to know her remaining groups better. Hang in there!

What a great point someone said about "why would you want to be in a group that doesn't want you?" I will pass this along to my Bama PNM that is having a tough rush. My AU PNM cousin has 7 to go to. She was cut by her legacy house but we saw it coming. She has her favorite in the mix, another one she really likes, another middle ground option and a few she doesn't feel she would pledge. Hugs to all of those who are stressing for their favorite PNM. What a nerve wracking week!

HI all-

I just got a text from Suzie, she said it was a bit hectic. She did receive a full 7 for today but was released from two she really liked.

I suggested that she go through today with " fresh new glasses" and look beyond the fluff and look for , sisterhood, how she could become involved.

Her houses today are
49ers
Saints
Panthers
Bears
Broncos
Raiders
Rams

As many of us on GC know, taking a second look is a good thing. Best wishes to all today.

This is exactly what we say...
 

...to the girls who attend or are not sure about attending our alum panhel's annual sorority info sessions! They can be helped so much by getting recs. AuburnDad, can I get your permission to use your quote on our power point slides for our May 2011 session?

My rec girl at AU has a great party schedule today! She is very excited!

Absolutely.

I think she should "worry" - that's not the right word - think about it - today. Try to look at it this way - she can concentrate on the groups that at first, she probably didn't pay too much attention to. If she has specific reasons why she doesn't like them, perhaps she can try to tactfully find out if they are just assumptions, or if they truly are "not for her". If she wants to be Greek, she needs to be open to the choices in front of her.

I understand her disappointment, but some girls might have none. It takes ONE. If she's enthusiastic about learning more about theses three groups, she might open her heart to a group of girls she otherwise would have dismissed.

Her perception of "party group" is based on...what? Tent talk? I guarantee in that in the "party sorority" of 150-200 members, maybe 10-15% are hard-core partiers (and I'm guessing on the high side). What about the other 85-90%? Find connections in the girls who aren't majoring in "party".

I am sorry she is disappointed, it's a tough week for sure. It is FAR too early in the game for her to say she will definitely NOT pledge a certain group. With 200+ members, there is something for everyone in each of these chapters. Encourage her to see that her opinions can change, sometimes drastically with each round, and Cookie Dough might actually turn out to be a great fit for her. Good luck to all of them.

BTW she had a rec letter for every one of the remaining seven.

Thank you! :)

Yay! Someplace where the Pirates are still in the running in mid-August! Bada bing, bada boom. (It's easier if you laugh at yourself before someone else does it.)

This thread is for Auburn rush, not Tennessee. Please don't make assertions that may not be true outside your own campus experience.

Cosign. She's a lot luckier than some other girls. She needs to get rid of ALL her preconceptions and pretend this is the first day of rush at a school that only has these three sororities. Because for her, it is.

I have never heard it put this way before, and I think this is a GREAT way to view it. This is the first day of rush, and these are the choices--and they want you.

RE: the "party house". A friend of my daughter, not at her school, went through recruitment in the midwest. She was told which were the "good houses, bad houses, and the slutty party houses."

So, she made a faux pas: After being released from her favorites she went to her rho chi, crying that she was only invited back to the party slutty houses. (This girl is very understated and only drank on Passover.) Her rho chi, a fabulous young woman from the Mom's description, told her quietly that the reps weren't necessarily correct. In fact, some things were just rumors started by vindictive girls.

Moving on....Friend stuck it out and pledged "just to see." Were there a few partyiers in the house? Yes. Most of the girls, including her rho chi, were very nice, fairly conservative girls. She fit right in to the conservative group. And she is happy.

What she said! I love this and it is so true. I'm going to remember this and use it often!

For Cassie, Suzie and Emma, this is the part of recruitment that is so hard, when favorite houses let you go, or when you feel you have few choices. My daughter had a similar experience as freshman too, and as a parent, it's so difficult to see them upset. My advice is to encourage your girls to be as open minded as possible and remember that they've only met a handful of the girls in each house. Just take each day as it comes and try not to get too set on one particular house. All of the sororities at Auburn have good points, as well as bad, but you can find a niche of close friends in any of them if you're open to the experience.

I've been reading your comments all week. It's been great reading about others' experience. I'm especially grateful to the optimistic experts who have shared excellent advice! I have to be honest and say that I've been a little obsessed and stressed about the recruitment process. :eek:

Coming from out of state, my D had heard nothing about each sorority's reputation, so she's really focused on how she feels around the girls and their philanthropies. She has heard a lot since starting the recruitment process, but she's continued with her open-minded attitude. Other than the Ice Water Teas, she's really enjoyed it. She said that the IWT round was overwhelming, but she loved the philanthropy round!

Although she has had one sorority that has stood out since day one, she says she knows she would be happy with any in her top seven. Of course, that was before I received a text from her this morning that she had been released by two in her top 7, but had been invited back to her number 8 and 9 choices.

The advice here has been tremendous! I'll share much of it with my daughter tonight again.

She said that she knows she'll be happy with just about any of them, so I think our outcome will be a positive one. :)

I'll update tonight or tomorrow.

Quoting again for awesomeness.


It's hard, but everyday PNMs have to wipe the slate clean and look at it like this.

As hard as it is, the chapters on your card are the ones who WANTED YOU enough to ask you back.

Yes, I know you liked XYZ a lot and you are sad that maybe your neighbor or roommate got an invite.

Moping about them isn't going to get you back in their doors.

Sometimes PNMs get soo upset and they drop out because XYZ cut them.

All that gets you is sad sitting in your dorm watching everyone else go to their parties.

So it is best to focus on what you HAVE.

Cassie is for now sticking with recruitment. We talked about going today and looking for the positive things. We will see how she feels at the end of the day. And then of course we will have to see if she gets any invites for the pref round.

anxiously awaiting what cassie, emma and suzie thought about the day, and if they have any new favorites!

This is great to hear- best of luck to her! I know there was one group going into this round that she wasn't feeling, but I strongly urge her to visit any and all Pref parties that she is invited to. If you've read many of the recruitment stories here, you know that many wind up falling in love with a chapter they previously weren't in love with. Pref can be a magical night- anything can happen.

But I'm getting ahead of myself here. Can't wait to hear back about Cassie, Emma, and Suzie's experiences today! I am absolutely loving these parent/rec updates.