Well, if your cat is purring she's obviously happy. Cats only purr when they're content and/or happy.:p

If you're running your chapter underground, talk about it all over the Internet.

If you attend the University of Phoenix, make sure you inquire about the Online Greek System and their recruitment process.

I am getting my PhD in biochemistry, and I get your joke now, thanks! I think the way it was originally written was confusing.

RANDOM INCORRECT ADVICE: If you have less than a 3.0 in undergrad, you should definitely apply for medical school, law school, or graduate school.

Yesterday, my sister saw this over my shoulder and was horrified. She thought this was a serious statement. :p

If you ask enough people on GC, you'll get a grant to get recognized on campus again!

Turn signals are optional.

When you see a police officer, try to out-run him.

When a doctor says "This will hurt me more than it hurts you," they are telling the truth.

Also, despite what you've heard, tattoos are removeable. Telling you that they are permanent is just a myth propagated by conservative mothers. All you need to remove it is a bit of rubbing alcohol and a Mr Clean Magic Eraser.

A PhD in biochemistry--that's so awesome!:p Good luck to you, I know you'll do very well.:)

Random incorrect advice: Dogs are color blind.

When you go through recruitment, don't worry about your personal appearance at all. After all, if they don't like you for WHO you are then screw 'em. AND don't bother looking at "bottom tier" chapters. You are the spoiled little princess and only want the BEST.

LOL!

When a guy beats you every week ladies, stay with him. He's teaching you how to take a punch. It's no way he's ABUSING you.

Flouncing is a safe option always

If you are right-handed, complete all school assignments by writing with your left hand.

You should always get into a GLO based on their color scheme

Your butt doesn't look big in those jeans...

Any true cat person not only knows this, but embraces it :D

:( I fail. What's the other reason(s)?


Advice: It's ok to pay freshman to write your senior thesis/business plan. It's important to spend that time partying and enjoying your last college semester.

They purr when they're also in pain and/or sick. I've seen cats purring right before they're euthanized. I say right before because it happens so fast.

Incorrect advice: Giving or force-feeding your pet water can help correct dehydration when she/he is sick.

Hmm that's interesting. Thanks for sharing. :D

Use colored text when preparing your resume and cover letter. It'll help you stand out.

No problem.:)

A curling iron makes for a great bath toy. Turn it on for extra fun!

lol lol lol http://l.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/41.gif

Always be honest during recruitment.
If you always thought being in a sorority meant that you had to be blonde and barbie-esque, feel free to voice that during parties (see ●upwardsparks● recruitment story :cool:)
and if you really just can't stand one group and you just KNOOOW you're going to be an XYZ, feel free to also share that at each house.
Good Luck!

Newspaper Ads are the best place to find a high-quality puppy/dog. It's the more knowledgeable breeders that place these Ads in the paper, so if you're looking for a good quality puppy, I highly recommend looking in the paper.:rolleyes:

feel free to bring your teacup dog, along with the designer handbag to carry him in, to recruitment events.

If a relaxer is 2 years old, you can still use it! Why waste money?

Stop signs are more of a suggestion than an actual rule.

As are yellow lights (speed up, the light is going to change!) and red lights (don't bother looking twice!)....

Wear pink sequined fishnet pantyhose to recruitment.

I highly recommend giving your dog snacks that are high-fat foods like chocolate, turkey skin, bacon, sausages, hot dogs and fried food. If a dog eats foods that are high in fat, that whole myth about it causing pancreatitis is false. Oh, and cholocate is the best for them. It makes their coat shine.:rolleyes:

http://lh4.ggpht.com/_CqtZ6YfaifQ/SW...%20hausuck.jpg

Is the LOLCat of choice for your PPoint presentation in which you cut your employees salaries 5%, as well as take away their vacation, holiday pay, OT and paid breaks.


This post would be funnier if it didn't just happen to me.:(

^^ At first, I thought you meant that the picture was also included. LOL

But I'm guessing it wasn't...

Baking powder and baking soda are TOTALLY the same thing. ;)

I've done that before on accident...

Liquid dishwashing detergent works just fine in dishwashers.

ETA: Sorry to hear 'bout your day at work, AF. That sucks.

OMG my step-mom (i.e. a fully-grown woman) did that once about 8 years ago. RIDICULOUS! I just remember an endless stream of bubbles coming from the kitchen but not in a cute happy way. More like a bubble monster!

If your gas line in 45 degrees lower than the "E", you can drive another 30 miles. Matter of fact, drive down the highway at 65 miles per hour in the middle lane.

Ah, you've obviously driven in Boston.

Speaking of which, some incorrect driving advice:

- Stop signs with white borders are "optional stop signs". If you don't feel like stopping, just plow on through.
- The Boston Left Turn is completely legal. (For the uninitiated, a Boston Left Turn is what you do when you are stopped at a red light and you want to turn left. When the light turns green (no left arrow, just a green ball) you punch it and make the left before the drivers stopped opposite you have a chance to realize the light is green and accelerate.)
- Stopping at the scene of an accident you caused is optional. They'll never catch you. (I once got the tag # of a bitch who rear-ended me and took off down the interstate. According to the police report, she didn't stop because she didn't think I'd stopped. At the speed she was going, she was in the next state by the time I pulled over safely. She got (as the cop put it) "a whole raft of tickets".)
- Using a hand-held cell phone while driving in crappy weather conditions is a GREAT idea.

This is EXACTLY what I was thinking.

"When driving in Boston, if there's a yellow light, it means 3 more cars can make it through. If it's a red light, 2 more."

My sister's friends took their license tests (as teenagers) and BOTH of them actually put yellow light means "speed up." :eek: OMG Did you learn ANYTHING in driver's ed???

Never tell your brand new co-worker when they've done something incorrectly. No, it's so much better to just re-do their work without telling them, then go straight to the supervisor and whine and complain about how you're stressed and overwhelmed from doing all of your work, plus their work, too. It'd be much too easy to just explain to the newbie the correct way so that they can fix it themselves--I mean, how else would you be the long-suffering perfectionist otherwise?

<----is hugging AlphaFrog but also pissed off about her own work day