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- - How much is too much? (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=92268)

I <3 James.

'nuff said.

Quote:

Originally Posted by James (Post 1565660)

The problem is that if we get rid of all role behaviors in courtship rituals no one knows what to do or where they stand.

As far as treating her to an expensive dinner or not, its not actually about her. Its about you and how you value yourself.

If she turns out to be an evil whore, or just someone not compatible, it in no way diminishes your generosity or behavior.

But to use the possibility that she is a tramp to justify being cheap is disingenuous.

Its true that being a gentleman is about making people comfortable around you, but primarily its something we do to match our own self concept.

It's really dependent on how the guy feels about the woman and the expectation. Soem people tend to think that if their date goes all out on the first date, that is the bar they are setting and that is going to be the norm. Which is the wrong expectation to give especially if you are a struggling student.

Heck and even if you break it down a dinner/movie date, is going to run you about 100 dollars easily.

Guys should really plan on where they take thier dates on the first one especially if it's a matter of finances. I, too believe if the guy asks the lady out, then first time (first couple of times really) he should foot the bill...but don't go broke doing it!!!

Taking a lady to a high scale restaurant is someting you save until you have been around each other for awhile.

But, at the same time, you should always 1. Go prepared and 2. Expect nothing.

I have known some people to actually try to plan dates around pay weeks and it's nothing wrong with that! LOL

Ladies at the same time it's wise to not go overboard becase, as some have already stated when you start ordering from the *effing* side of the menu, then you may get labeled 'high maintenence'.

Nothing worse than watching someone order an expensive entree just to see if the guy can afford the bill and then she not eat it.

Heh!

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog (Post 1565690)

PB - when you die a lonely, bitter old man, we can all look back on these threads and not have to wonder why.:rolleyes:

AF...actually altho it may sound bitter...he has a point...some of us have been in the same situation.

You take someone out to someplace really nice and....poof...that's it....

I can't recall how many 'great first dates' I had and later on felt it to be a waste.

So yeah...sometimes...we get a little leery about where we want to take some of you and it becomes a gamble...hehehe.

And believe me, it's not about trying to get physical, but it's about trying to make an investment and after a while you get tired of 'trying to impress' or trying to go all out for someone that doesn't show any appreciatation for it. (and again we aren't referring to sex!)

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet (Post 1565656)

^^^PB sweetheart, you never take a 1st date--a woman who you are considering seriously--to a high end restaurant.

Besides, I am amazed by y'all fellas--all good women know a way to a man's heart is through his stomach... ;) Most ladies who want you to EAT WELL, COOK and FEED their men...

Don't believe me? That's how I got married to my husband... :rolleyes:

^^^^ agreed and actually what I have done sometimes which has yielded success is COOK and then take her out (if she isn't suffering from the 'itis already! LOL)

Gents sometimes all we have to do is employ the same strategem....COOOOOOOK!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid (Post 1565698)

AF...actually altho it may sound bitter...he has a point...some of us have been in the same situation.

Oh, I'm not just talking in reference to this thread...he's got a list longer than The Mitchell Report of things a woman can't have/do/look like.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog (Post 1565703)

Oh, I'm not just talking in reference to this thread...he's got a list longer than The Mitchell Report of things a woman can't have/do/look like.

Does 'hoe' appear in it 82 times within the first 10 pages?

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid (Post 1565706)

Does 'hoe' appear in it 82 times within the first 10 pages?

Absolutely. And the only word that appears more frequently than "hoe" is "joker".

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog (Post 1565707)

Absolutely. And the only word that appears more frequently than "hoe" is "joker".

Well....as it was told to me...when you keep thinking of women in that frame of reference, that's all you will attact.

A "hoe" for a "rake"???

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid (Post 1565706)

Does 'hoe' appear in it 82 times within the first 10 pages?

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy (Post 1565685)

I don't. I also wouldn't date a woman unless I want something serious from her. What's the point? I don't date just to be dating, nor do I casual date. I date "one" women, and I get serious with "one" woman, so why would I take her to a high end place if I don't even know her? For all I know she could be a low down woman who uses nice guys and commits herself to low down, thuggish, spinelss K Fed, 50 cent looking jokers. Bad boys like these idiots damn sure aren't going to take her anywhere except to the bedroom, and that's it. Women that fool around with these sorry, poor excuses for men, suck and aren't worth my time.

Fellas, be very leery about where you take your dates. There are other things worth your time you could have spent that cash on.;)

Sweetie, we know you ain't one of those thuggish brothas that like to take a girl around the whirl... But, really, you don't know a woman without taking her out in some fashion--not to a high end restaurant, but to Burger King for lunch or something...

Some women's self esteems are so low and they need a rough neck thug to abuse them...

Then, some of these low self esteemed women regain their strength and decide that being with the nice guys are worthy of their hard efforts...

Then, there are some women who know a treasure when they see it...

I don't know what part of the "cycle" these women you are encountering are in, but it seems like they reside in the first one.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid (Post 1565695)

I agree with you. I think the man should foot the bill, but at the same time get to know the woman before he takes her anywhere. You can do that over coffee, fast food, or just hanging out in the park. She'll eventually reveal her true colors. As far you saying the ladies shouldn't go overboard, what's overboard? Like in the OP the joker who took ol' girl out, how was she supposed to know what to order? I think she should be able to order whatever she wants to, as long as she plans on hanging out with the dude long term. If she doesn't like him, then she shouldn't expect a free meal from him. In fact I think the date should be cut short. Why waste time? Like I said, if I were him, I would have never taken her anywhere except maybe for coffee or something cheap, because he doesn't know her from adam. Taking her somewhere that's not high class, will also determine if she enjoys his company. If she enjoys his company, then she won't care about not going to a highclass restaurant on the 1st few dates. All I was saying is to me, it sounds like he's going to get used as a cash clown. It also sounds like he's going to continue to take her out and wine and dine her, and get nothing in return.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid (Post 1565708)

Well....as it was told to me...when you keep thinking of women in that frame of reference, that's all you will attact.

I don't think of all women in that frame of reference. Some, but not all.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PrettyBoy (Post 1566193)

As far you saying the ladies shouldn't go overboard, what's overboard? Like in the OP the joker who took ol' girl out, how was she supposed to know what to order? I think she should be able to order whatever she wants to, as long as she plans on hanging out with the dude long term. If she doesn't like him, then she shouldn't expect a free meal from him. In fact I think the date should be cut short. Why waste time? Like I said, if I were him, I would have never taken her anywhere except maybe for coffee or something cheap, because he doesn't know her from adam. Taking her somewhere that's not high class, will also determine if she enjoys his company. If she enjoys his company, then she won't care about not going to a highclass restaurant on the 1st few dates. All I was saying is to me, it sounds like he's going to get used as a cash clown. It also sounds like he's going to continue to take her out and wine and dine her, and get nothing in return.

You are probably living in the "wrong time"... Today, those kinds of things you do is so unappreciated. It's like that movie "Gigi"--you should watch it if you already have not... It's rather pervy by today's standards.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet (Post 1566185)

I don't hang out with women with low self esteem.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog (Post 1565707)

Absolutely. And the only word that appears more frequently than "hoe" is "joker".

LMAO!:D

When I use the word hoe, I'm referring to my exes and women who like to sleep around and not commit to one man. "Joker" is just a bad habit. AF, you're supposed to be helping me with that.;):)