been there, kind of
 

AuburnPNMom, I was on this board seeking advice for a similar problem after formal recruitment. My daughter was incredibly disappointed when she received her bid to a sorority she liked, but at the time didn't see herself fitting in with. She was cut by 2 but was feeling devastated because her 1st choice had gone on and on about how much they loved her each time she visited. Looking for information, I too stumbled onto this board, sorry I didn't mean to impose all, but I also had no clue or experience with sorority recruitment, especially at a big, SEC school. I explained my daughter's situation and received excellent, thoughtful advice which I shared with her because her first reaction was to quit. She, like most girls, only focused on the groups that cut her, not the one that seemed to love her. I know we "helicopter" Moms are a pain, but I truly appreciate what I learned and what I shared with my daughter. It really helped her to see how fortunate she was despite her disappointment, and focus on the positive things about her new sisters.

My daughter decided to remain with the sorority that offered a bid. She initially didn't think ANYONE in that LARGE sorority would be someone she could relate to. Funny you mentioned the blonde thing, when my daughter walked up to the house, there to greet her was a sea of tall blondes! My daughter is very brown eyed and brunette and not the tallest. I thought, wow, she doesn't look like these girls. But guess what, there were great girls there. and a LOT of brunettes inside the house, and she is making many friends and having a blast. It turned out to be a wonderful decision to give this sorority a chance. Auburn has great sororities and while there may be a few small differences, my daughter tells me they are all really good. She didn't get a top tier, or even her 1st. choice, but she did get a great group of wonderful new sisters. She now is very happy where she is and wouldn't change a thing. I hope your daughter will really consider the sorority looking at her, I'm sure it is full of wonderful young ladies, some who will probably become some of your daughter's best friends.

NOTE TO GREEKCHAT MEMBERS...I know we Moms are a pain but I really appreciate the help and advice I and my daughter received from all! Thanks!

While I agree that people may not know the right "lingo", to say that "this" (meaning being COB'd by "lesser" sororities) would never have happened on the home turf because the family is so public and famous, that her daughter is worried that she is "blonder" (more attractive? more bleached?) than the sisters in the lesser sorority, really depicts her daughter in a very shallow, superficial and immature light. However, she knows her daughter best.

If she is truly interested in sororities for philanthropic work then any sorority she joins will have sterling philanthropy opportunities.

OTW has a cool signature.

just a quick question. did your daughter go into rush with an idea of which chapters she wanted to be in before she started? is it possible that these groups are in your home state schools and shes heard of them there and heard good things about them so decided that she wanted them at auburn? or maybe the ones that she got cob's for arent as popular in her home state and thats why she has second thoughts?? this could totally happen if she has friends in universities that have already rushed. i could be totally off here, but if thats at all the case then try to explain to her that all chapters are different at different schools. sorry if this is not the case but thats the first thing that came to my mind. i went to school out of state and heard lots of different things about different greek orgs that im very glad i didnt listen to--but its very hard not to!! good luck to your daughter!!

I don't think I need to respond to the insinuation regarding my daughter's character. She did have in mind what she liked before she started but it was formed during her visits to campus - The sorority system is completely different there than what we are familiar with....and the sororities are, too....so any knowledge of schools we knew did not help nor deter her in any way. She was more shocked by the fact that you needed to be from Alabama to get into a sorority. Needless to say, that is far more shallow than forming an opinion about whether or not you would fit into a sorority based on looks or not. and her blonde hair is what she was born with. Often envied by her friends that color is not required.

augreekmom! That is just what I needed to hear!

Many girls who weren't from Alabama got bids at Auburn this year. Check the lists of new members on their website and their hometowns.

Sure, they may not have the inside track that girls who are from the same hometowns as present members have, but her home state would not likely have been held against her in and of itself. (again, I can't know this for sure, but if you look at the list, you'd suspect it to be true.)

And if you re-read the thread you'll see you're the one who made the hair color comment, not us, so it doesn't make sense to get huffy about it now.

Glad to have helped! :)

Oh, I am soo sorry - I didn't mean to get huffy - I just took offense at the insinuation that my daughter was shallow and immature. I haven't slept much and am tired - I am grateful for the support I have given here. I had noone else to talk to about it and don't want to hound my daughter so that she can make up her mind. Yes, I do know that about the other states, I was responding to the poster who said that it made a difference where she was from. I didn't mean to combine the 2 - Please forgive me

I hope that you can get some rest and feel better. Your daughter had the benefit of your council for 18 years; surely, she's going to make a good decision tomorrow.

:)

I know I am bad for thinking about it this way, but maybe pledging a sorority of a different hair color might show your daught that you can be friends with people that are different than you and maybe were NOT homecoming queens, super-popular in high school, or like, blond. Actually, having people with a different perspective to converse with might enrich her life even more than the blondes that she feels initially more comfortable with.

Or, if she does pledge "brunette" and feels left out, she can go out and buy a big case of hair color for her new sisters. I'm sure they'd be really appreciative of her generosity in making them the sisters she so obviously deserves.

skylark - You missed the point. she is not seeking to be the blonde star. she is worried that her new sisters won't like her because she IS blonde.

If they didn't like her, they wouldn't have extended a bid.

That is what I told her!!

Ok- I think has done its time - I definitely got some good advice, but feel that perhaps it has run its course. Thanks to all who tried to help in such a nonjudgmental way!