You're right, you don't.

Read the rest of this forum. Then post.

Or, you could just sponsor her for AI yourself.

I'm sorry if you think I'm being rude, but you're new here and don't know how this works. We who have been around for awhile know what we're talking about, and if you think us being to the point and honest is rude then so be it.

First of all, I said the FORUM, not the THREAD. You may want to pay particular attention to the ones that are locked, as they're particularly good examples.

Second, if you can't tolerate it, put me on ignore. I won't cry, I promise.

Third, if you think anything I said to the OP on this thread was rude, you need thicker skin, or you're not going to make it in the real world.

Fourth, less than a month does not equal "awhile".

Fifth, if you want "nice" you're on the wrong messageboard.

So this discussion is over BUT i thought I'd give you a little 'food for thought'.

First of all, I haven't been on GC for only a month. Since you consider yourself a GC expert, you of all people should know that its very easy to simply start a new account and get a fresh slate. As someone who values being anonymous you should know that many posters have multiple accounts.

Second, you are the not the authority on who should be posting.
I was raised with a certain measure of common decency that does not dissolve when seated behind my computer screen.

Finally, I would like to recommend a book to you. It is called 'What would Jackie Do?' and might help you learn some social graces.

If you're such a Miss Manners on GC, why the need for a "fresh slate"?

And, I believe honesty would fall under "social graces". So if you want to blow sunshine up her ass because you think it's the "ladylike" thing to do, go ahead. I'll just keep tellin' it like it is.

I've got two (and no more). The youngest is 5 months. The oldest is 2 1/2, she says please, thank you, no thank you, bless you, etc., and corrects those who don't. She also tells it like it is.

I don't agree with this. While I don't think that comments should be discouraging, I think we really have to be realistic.

I like AI and I'm glad that my organization does it, but you have to realize that because of psycho PNAMs who've somehow found their way into our organizations and women who have flat out "AI sorority-shopped," AI has left a bad taste in many GCers' mouths. Judging from the subject of this thread, dukemama knew what she was getting herself into. Still, the thread should have been closed when she thanked everybody.

I don't agree with what AlphaFrog is saying to you, but GC isn't about blowing the sunshine up the ass. And speaking as someone who's been accused of having bad manners herself (amongst other things), I doubt that you'll have much luck convincing any GCer to change their message board behavior so that it'll be to your liking.

Sorry, but that's the way it is.

Actually, they were simply honest. AI is not something that is all daisies and roses. It can be a long process with a number of requirements and there is a right and a wrong way to do it.

People shouldn't need multiple accounts if they stand behind what they post. Seems some don't have a backbone. Plus I wouldn't be advocating AI at all if my organization was one that makes it basically impossible to do so. If you want manners and kind words, go to a puppies and kittens and rainbows messageboard.

I think this is key. Many people who encourage the PNAM, do so knowing that it's not their org that the PNAM is pursuing (or even if it is the org, it's impossible for them to join).

I think one of the reasons I got defensive early in this thread is that my org is prominent where the OP is from, so I know very well that my org could be "shopped for" if the OP doesn't get anywhere with the one from Duke.

Just to correct you Alphafrog, the NPC sorority I'm most interested in is not at my alma mater. If you're referring to the situation with my friend at the recent reunion, I won't be pursuing AI with her group.

And to everyone: I take things written on the internet with a grain of salt. Of course I like encouraging comments but getting a "dose of reality" once in a while doesn't hurt, either. I'm a big girl! :) Let's move on, shall we?

It's not very classy to tell other people they lack class, bless your heart! I would think a Theta from LSU would know better. :(

Isn't multiple names a violation of TOS? And wouldn't that be wrong and, therefore, unlady like? Incidentally, I've read the book mentioned and I didn't find it helpful, at least not anymore helpful that similiar books.

Anyway--kite person, one of the reasons we got into the whole "AI shopping" mess,debacle, travesty was because way too many people were way too encouraging. We were all sitting around saying, "Good luck with your search" and "You can do it" (myself included) and giving advice, and when it got tough for people, because they didn't appreciate the sensitivity of this subject, that served no one.

The current climate with regard to AI is one of caution and one that more accurately reflects the purpose of AI. Sororities are not as open to AI as they are collegiate membership--and we need not pretend just people's feelings don't get hurt.

Reading the rest of the forum will reveal an abundance of philosophies on the subject--and since we cannot all agree on those philosophies, the one thing we have agreed on is that its not all rosy and fun and so that's the message we agree to send.

I love that you're the most mature one in this thread :D

I'm probably (one of the) oldest, too! < :D back atcha >

Well said.