We should be realistic absolutely, but I think we should try not to let our anger and frustration show, even when the posters are jerks.

Imagine that the OPs are the world's worst recruitment guests and they are acting the same way at the parties that they act here. I still think a group member would be better off trying not to reply in kind, especially because other PNMs will see her response and unfortunately maybe form connections between the angry behavior and the group.

I'm not saying that we need to stifle ourselves generally in all the other areas of GreekChat or lie to PNMs here, but we should do our best not to lose it on them or rip them and their situation to shreds, even when they seem to deserve it, because of how it make us look to other PNMs who might have the same thoughts or concerns.

agreed. i think sometimes it is so hard because the OP gets all angry that we didn't give them the "Rainbow Flower Pony Land" (or whatever that was.. haha) answer that they wanted to hear.

You're absolutely right about the fact that most of us, at one time or another, have "returned the attitude" to a PNM or have been uncivil when it really wasn't called for. I think that needs to be addressed, absolutely.

That said, I'm not exactly sure that anyone really ripped on Missbooperdoo in this thread, nor was she really acting like the snotty know-it-all PNM like we've seen in so many other threads. I think it was a situation where GC posters worded things more strongly and more directly than she was used to, which put her off. She took offense to us offering up our opinions on her situation w/financial aid, her bouncing around from school to school, and her poor record of academic responsibility. While I understand that it's never nice to hear criticisms about the way in which you've handled your life, I really thought that most of the posters DID act civilly, at least, even when they weren't exactly warm about the whole thing.

I think the basic level of courtesy a new poster can expect to receive on GC is politeness. Some veteran GCers may choose to go above and beyond, but really, I don't think anyone in this particular thread ventured into blatant rudeness.

Don't get me wrong, I'm totally feeling what you're saying about positively representing our orgs, and while I'm aware that it was pretty obvious the OP didn't want to hear any unsolicited advice on her situation, I really hope that she'll at least take some of it into consideration next spring when she goes through recruitment. It probably wouldn't bode well for her chances at being placed she were to go into a recruitment party and say the same things she said here. To that end, at least, I think these threads can be helpful even when they end up pissing off the OP to the point that they have to make one of those dramatic exit posts. Yeah, she may never come back, but I really hope she at leasts mulls over what's said and chooses to reframe her situation a little more positively.

Anyway, I'm just rambling. I agree with you, alphagamuga, in most everything you said. I don't know if all of it is directly applicable to this particular thread, but I really think that it's applicable to a lot of recent recruitment thread examples. Some PNMs can take the heat and others can't so I'd still like this thread to serve as an example of TMI on GreekChat. Even when people have acted totally civilly and even kindly, PNMs have still completely lost it the second someone is like "No, honey, I really don't think any of the four sororities on your campus allow graduate students to pledge" and they're all like "Screw you guys, I guess greeks just aren't as welcoming as I'd hoped, blah blah blah, I'm never coming back here so don't even bother replying" and that gets old. I hope PNMs who really don't want to hear anything bad just avoid a whole thread like this entirely by either posting the bare minimum in terms of information or not posting on GC at all.

No, I didn't think this thread was particularly bad either. I think I was more concerned about people responding to the OP's comments about high school, etc.

Let 'em have the last snip. We already joined groups. We're adult people. Either they will realize that the advice was good or maybe things will work out a lot better than we fear for them. It's really nothing to us if they take it or not.

I find it ironic that the OP will be rushing at the same school where the first known and recorded GC-related rush disaster took place.

Yep.

I hate it when you plant these very intriguing references and yet I can't ever effectively search GC.

I know :(

In this situation, it's not the search function to blame.

The girl deleted/heavily edited all her rush-related posts and if I'm not mistaken some were also moved to the Mods' Corner.

I want to say it was in 2001, but it could have well been 2002...I can't remember.

So Much For Staying Away...
 

Okay, I know I ended this rather badly. All replies after this that include "thought you said..." will be read, no worries :) Long weekend coupled with not knowing much about the way Greek Chat works has turned what should have been a simple question into something of a cat fight. I never expected everything to be...rainbows and sunshine? Can't remember that one. But I did expect advice on the topic I posted, not about my life. I'm not looking to argue with anyone over something that was posted on the internet. Truth be told, before I got in this paticular thread I posted numerous times about how I wasn't even sure I wanted to go greek. I got really definsive in this, and came across as some what of a...well bitch. (But there was much provocation)
And I feel like I also gave the impression I'm dead set on joining a sorority. Which can't be farther from the truth. It just seemed like something worth finding out more about. I do stand firm on the fact that you should never judge someone, especially someone you know over the internet so quickly, and expect them to take it with a smile and a "wow...your negative opinion of me makes me so happy!"...rainbows and sunshine.... But thats besides the point I'm trying to make. I've never threatened anyone on this site, and don't much care WHAT organization you belong to.
Not saying there was an insinuation that there would be bad mouthing going on here, but I would like to address the issue. In all likelyhood, I won't even be pledging. I'm not going to college for Greek life, I never said I was, I had just expressed an interest in it, that turned into a heated defense of my interest in it.

To address the issue about USA, though its been the University I have until now planned to attend, recent events (ha, so recent as in this past weekend) have pushed me in another direction...another state even :) Without being too detailed about my personal life, its just a great (huge) change in plans that wasn't expected and I'm going to be having way to much going on in my life for anything as time consuming as a sorority. I'm not even sure if I'm going to be attending a college/university that HAS a greek system. As I've yet to look into the schools in that area. Just too excited to function I guess lol.

Anyway just wanted to say that I might hang around here for awhile and read through some of the rush stories, because they are fun to read. Granted I could just view them without signing in, but I'm sure I'll comment on something.

Later :D

I didn't mean that you would try to retaliate in some way. I didn't see any sort of threatening behavior from you. My point was that we ought to think about how we present ourselves because of the impressions that people form as a result. I meant directly from reading what we said, not because anyone was going to repeat the story or intentionally use it

You concern is definatly understandable, as in this paticular thread it was more on a person to person level that there were issues, forget the greek end of it. I was having issues with the way someone reacted to my question, and it would often be better if there was a way to blind people to the greek letters in your name so they didnt assume it was a representation of that organization. Hope that makes sense...

If you have to put so much effort into convincing and reminding yourself that a GCer isn't a representation of his/her organization each time you see a post that's not to YOUR liking, then well, I really feel sorry for you.

If someone has to be told that one person on a messageboard does not represent thousands of women in an organization, you're not worth they're not worth the time anyway.

And, for what it's worth, there is a "do not include signature" checkbox to take your "letters" off your post for those who choose to include them.

Ok...
 

I never said that I had any problems not seeing this.

Originally Posted by Alphagamuga http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/im...s/viewpost.gif
But we should probably keep in mind that they're completely anonymous, but that some of us are unofficially representing our orgs.

I wanted to clear up that I was not forming an opinion on an organization just because of one persons comments.

[quote=Miss{BooperDoo};1426326] I've never threatened anyone on this site, and don't much care WHAT organization you belong to.Not saying there was an insinuation that there would be bad mouthing going on here, but I would like to address the issue

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alphagamuga (Post 1426347) I didn't mean that you would try to retaliate in some way. I didn't see any sort of threatening behavior from you. My point was that we ought to think about how we present ourselves because of the impressions that people form as a result. I meant directly from reading what we said, not because anyone was going to repeat the story or intentionally use it

Alphagamuga, correct me if I'm wrong but you were acknowledging that I personally had no intention of bad mouthing someone's greek affiliation because of that person, you were addressing that people who come and read this thread might form opinions of someone based on what they typed and tied that opinion with the letters in their name and formed a sterotype for all the people in that organization because of one measly comment in a forum.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss{BooperDoo} (Post 1426665) You concern is definatly understandable, as in this paticular thread it was more on a person to person level that there were issues, forget the greek end of it. I was having issues with the way someone reacted to my question, and it would often be better if there was a way to blind people to the greek letters in your name so they didnt assume it was a representation of that organization. Hope that makes sense...

Ok this is me saying, yes I get what your saying. I had a problem with THE PERSON who posted those things, not whatever orgaization they were affiliated with. I never once said anything about "you greeks" or "you XYZ's" Did I? I simply said wouldn't it be nice for those who have that simplemindedness to form instant opinions on a whole group of people based on one persons comments, to not be able to see the greek letters in someones name, so there wouldn't be that confusion.

Quote:

Originally Posted by OTW (Post 1426690) If you have to put so much effort into convincing and reminding yourself that a GCer isn't a representation of his/her organization each time you see a post that's not to YOUR liking, then well, I really feel sorry for you.

Not sure where you formed this from. Please explain as I would like to understand.

[QUOTE=Miss{BooperDoo};1426747]I never said that I had any problems not seeing this.

Originally Posted by Alphagamuga http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/im...s/viewpost.gif
But we should probably keep in mind that they're completely anonymous, but that some of us are unofficially representing our orgs.

I wanted to clear up that I was not forming an opinion on an organization just because of one persons comments.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss{BooperDoo} (Post 1426326) I've never threatened anyone on this site, and don't much care WHAT organization you belong to.Not saying there was an insinuation that there would be bad mouthing going on here, but I would like to address the issue

You may never uderstand the way some people peple on this site post or what they say!

Gets vicuious does it not?

You can tell whom are good or bad.:o

Not everyone is like this, just a few and those who feel they have to jump on the band wagon!:(