I think that if a person is a grown @$$ adult, that the only thing you need to remember, regardless of whether that person is a smoker, or weighs 400 pounds, is Nobody asked me.

I'm not directing this at you personally, KLPDaisy, but the thing is - I'm not that person. I'm not living in his/her body. And you're not telling the fat person/the smoker anything that they haven't already heard a thousand times before, nor are you telling them anything that they haven't already thought themselves.

Just butt out. Seriously. Live your own life, and worry less about what grownups do with their own.

Ok so going back to this thread, I've definitely gained some weight in the past few weeks. Not a significant amount, and I'm not obese or overweight, but still. Last night my mother, in the fashion of all Russian Jewish mothers, decides to start nagging me about my weight, solely for the purpose of helping me, of course. She's yapping on and on about how dangerous it is for me with my history of heart disease, how no man will want to marry me (seriously), how I need to go on like a billion diets and whatnot. Which is very nice and all except that my mother is about 6 dress sizes bigger than I am. After she finishes up her spiel I ask her why doesn't she do all of the things that she suggests I do like going to the gym or dieting and she gets mad at me. It's really hard for me to keep a straight face when a person who's significantly larger than I am tells me I'm fat.

Is your mother a dentis and does she work in Toronto? My is exactly like your mother. She used to harp on me about my weight (and I know I'm a big person), but she was bigger than me!

No she's a finance director and works in New York. But yea. My personal favorite was the comment about marriage. And BTW, the skirt I'm wearing now is a size 8 and it's huge on me, so I don't even consider that to be fat. Not many people do.

I think I have a wierd mother. (in a nice way!) :D

Anytime I have a new boyfriend, she keeps saying to me, "What do you want a man for? They're nothing but trouble!" and "Don't get married!" LOL!

I've had that from my mother before. It was hurtful. Fortunately she can't use that one anymore because I am with someone who wants to marry me.

Fat people need to be reminded everyday that they are fat. It's like an unwritten law.

Doesn't it make you cringe anytime you go to work, and you see that rather large woman eat those candy bars, and then two minutes later those chips, drink that soda. Then an hour later she says, " oh man, I'm starvin marvin!". Then when 9 o clock comes, she does the whole cycle again. Then she stuffs a full plate of chinese food. Then stares at the cute skinny girl who walks by with her salad. as the cute skinny girl walks away she talks shit on her with her other fat friends.

Poor cute skinny girl :( She doesn't deserve to be tormented by fat mean girls. Sigh...


If you are fat then try these two things

1- don't eat
2- eat, and the puke it up

Or you can try,

1- don't eat so much you fatty (you know you eat ALOT more than you should)
2- get up and move once in a while, instead of posting on GC about obesity
3- Don't get mad at what BobbytheDon is saying, and use what he says as motivation to prove him wrong!


KLPDaisy, don't get all freakin butthurt that your mom is calling you fat. You gained weight. She is telling you. So she is larger than you. She is your mom. She is old. Moms are usually fatter than daughters. She is also right. Go work out! Do something! Don't eat! Get Lipo! Barf! Iono! Lose that weight!

Any chance you'd want to trade mothers? I've mentioned this in the D&R forum before, but back in the old country, it was thought that if a woman wasn't married by age 22, then she was destined to be an old maid forever and no man would want to marry her. My mom got married at 20. I'm 23, still single, and have no intentions of getting married anywhere in the foreseeable future. So as my entire family likes to remind my parents and I every chance they possibly get, there is no hope left for me.

Unhealthy people know that they are unhealthy.

Therefore, obese people know that they are obese and (if they are being honest with themselves) know that they are putting their health at risk. With the assumption that they are obese due to poor and overeating and not exercising.

I talk about health and fitness all the time and eat pretty healthy. If I had obese friends, I expect for some of my lifestyle to wear off on them without my having to initiate a discussion on obesity. I have found that unhealthy and/or overweight people initiate conversations with people who they know are living a healthy lifestyle.

These convos tend to start with "wow, i see you eating healthy all the time/working out all the time. I need to start doing whatever you're doing."

My response is "well, go ahead and start doing it. There's no secret to it, you just have to do it and stick to it everyday. I can tell you MY health and workout regiment if you want but if you have any health issues or more than 40lbs you want to lose, I'd first talk to your doctor if I were you."

I have the grandma who's doing the same thing, except her comments are more like: You have to be from your Dad's side of the family, you don't look like our side. You have the body from your dad's side.. we're smaller.

You don't have "Mom's family" hands, do you?

Ever thought about getting your nose done? Why not? Don't you wish your nose was skinny and cute like mine? (Yeah you bought yours grandma..)

And... "I've heard of the freshman 15 but aren't you supposed to lose that?"

I'm not obese by anymeans, but I'm overweight for my bodyframe and THANK YOU senile grandma, I'm aware of that.

My mom on the other hand has asked me if I want to do Atkins with her or if I'm interested in doing Weight Watchers or something like that. That I'm ok with because she's offering solutions not ripping on me

There was an old lady who lived on my street. One day, after I said hello to her, she said, "You know, you're such a pretty girl, but I hate those earrings."

So, I simply replied, "Well, I hate your hat!"

She looked shocked for a moment, and then said, "Ok, I guess that's fair." And she laughed.

Sometimes older people don't realize what they're saying is hurtful... and sometimes, you just have to point it out to them.

Yeah, she doesn't really realize that what she's saying is hurtful.. but she doesn't stop because she has short term memory problems

As someone who lost 45 lbs recently and is trying to lose 45 more (I got stuck at a plateau on weight watchers UGH!) I can say something very clearly.... I Know I am fat. This is not news to me. I have known since I was in junior high school. I was on the swim team, trying wearing a speedo in front of your whole school for meets, it doesn't let you escape the fact you are fat.

I was lucky I had friends who were supportive of me instead of tearing me down. Even when I was my heavist they encouraged me with comments like "I noticed your legs are more toned then they used to be, that is great, keep it up. Did you go to the gym today cause you are looking good." Those kind of comments kept me from getting more depressed (most of my weight come on from losing several family members in a short amount of time) and kept me moviated. They even went out of their way to suggest resturants that had lower fat options so I would not feel "weird" asking for something different. Friends should raise you up not tear you down.

If it's a sudden weight gain or loss approach it more from the attitude you see of the person. My best friend flat out sat me down and said "I know losing your grandma was super hard on you, since then I have noticed some changes in you. Can I help make anything better?" She started weight watchers with me even though she only wanted to lose 10 lbs. We both joined the same gym and she made sure I didn't go alone the first few weeks.

I think it might be relevant to point out the obesity issue if it pertinent to the converation.

IF someone who is very overweight has trouble getting members of the opposit sex to like them, and they complain about it, a gentle hint that weight loss might help could be beneficial.

Same thing if they always complain of being over tired or have related health problems.

And, I totally disagree. Do you actually think they don't know why they are having trouble getting a date? Do you actually think they don't know why they don't feel well?

Fat does not cause brain damage. Give overweight people some credit!