Haha, I don't either.... And I AM Catholic! Oops. :p

okay i guess i'm tacky... yeah! we had a dollar dance at our wedding but it wasn't about the money. basically it was a tradition in which the bride and groom got to dance with EVERYBODY (including my 80 year old uncle Nappy) without dancing for the whole dance and being able to have some face time with everybody. so if that's tacky - sil le vie?!


- marissa

The coins and cords are more of an ethnic tradition than a Catholic one, AFAIK.

What are the coins and cords?!!

What she said.

Traditional Filipino ceremonies in the Catholic church and the coins etc usually go hand in hand.

The coins, cord, candle, and veil are implemented usually after the offertory and before the Eucharist. The veil is draped over the bride and groom, the coins represent wealth for the couple, the candle guides their path, and the cord binds them together as one.

In Mexican cultures, it's pretty much the same thing except the coins are presented to the bride by the groom. It symbolizes that he will always be able to take care of her.

Even for us middle class white folks, it's not about "dancing around expecting money from their wedding guests." It's not even about the money. Participating in the dollar dance is optional. I could have given two whits as to whether people gave any money, it was something fun and traditional that most guests at our wedding were expecting to do anyway.

And with over 300 guests, there was NO WAY I could have gone around and talked to them all personally. The dollar dance was a way that I did get to talk to some of them. (and yes, we knew when we chose to invite that many people we would not get to talk extensively with all of them. We were okay with that.)

Most of the weddings I've been to, you didn't dance with the bride or groom unless it was:
1. the dollar dance
2. you were the mother/father
3. you were the bride/groom
and half the time they were too busy talking, eating, socializing, making sure things were going okay to dance anyway.

Weddings are personal things. One person's preference may not be another's. That's fine. And as I said before, it doesn't bother me that people think it's tacky. It's when you start insinuating that having a dollar dance makes me greedy and a "five-cent whore" that I get bothered.

Ditto. Asking people for more money when they already got you a gift is just tacky.

And as for getting the money pinned to you... EEK! scary. Bunch of drunk ass people sticking pins in you? Sorry, i'm not dressing up as a pin cushion on my wedding day ;)

Maybe its my religion, or just where I'm from, but in my family weddings are super traditional. No dancing or drinking, all the gifts come in boxes, bags, or envelopes w/ bows on them, & the wedding & reception take less than 1.5 hours to get everyone in & out.

Its hard for me to imagine a situation where dollar dances are seen as the bride & groom actually asking for money, but I still can't imagine seeing that done anywhere around here (and I've played a lot of weddings in my time, of all different religions!)

Many weddings I've been to have had the dollar dance. It's along the lines of the Chicken Dance, the Hokey Pokey, the tossing of the garter and bouquet, the cutting of the cake and all the other silly things we do at weddings. It's not a tradition in my family so I didn't do it at either of my weddings, but it was a tradition in my first husband's family. I chose not to do it, but I kind of wish I had, not because of the money, but because I didn't get to dance much at my wedding and I really wanted to. Instead, I spent the whole evening going from table to table to make sure I greeted everyone. I would have rather done that on the dance floor. It's also a fun photo op.

I've seen a variation that I thought was cute.. they had each person who wanted to dance with the bride or groom write down some advice for the married couple. They put them all in a big binder and then read them at the after wedding lunch the next day. People put down some really comical stuff and we had a riot reading them. That could be an option if you like the idea of rotating dancing with everybody but not wanting to have it involve money.

There are many things we do in this society that are greedy. What about showers? The whole point is to "shower" the bride and groom or mother to be with gifts. Is that not greedy? I wasn't raised Catholic and I was furious with my parents when all my friends were having First Communion parties and making TONS of money and I didn't get to. Most of them got bikes too. Welcome to America!

Dee

FWIW, I realize that in certain cultures and/or areas, the Dollar Dance is expected and almost revered (note: remember, I mentioned the 3-generation apron).

Where I think it gets out of control is when a Dollar Dance or such is NOT part of your culture or where you live, and you still do it! Now, that's tacky to the nth power!!

I got a She-Ra Princess of Power Crystal Kingdom castle for my First Communion. :p

LOL - I was jealous that I couldn't get the First Communion dress & veil!!

I've seen it done where there was a big jar and people just stood in line and put in their money and danced with the bride or groom. I think it's kinda neat, but then again I've been raised around it....it's a normal thing at the weddings I've been to. But yea, pins could be scary!