If you go to the wedding is ultimately about whether or not you want to remain in a friendly relationship with this girl. People have different reasons for including (or not including) people in their wedding. Maybe she thought you were "mature" enough to handle it, while the other 2 girls would not be. Maybe she thought having you all in the wedding would be more stressful on her because of your differences. Maybe she though you wouldn't care about being a bridesmaid because you are "not that type of girl". My sister was not in my wedding and it was her choice. Other people were more upset about it that either of us.

In any event, if you decide to talk to the bride about it PLEASE PLEASE do it after the wedding, not before. She has a month before her wedding and she does not need the extra stress.

I will do that just to watch them suffer through being in a Catholic church. HA HA HA suckas!

And valkyrie, I would LOOOOOOOOOOVE it if you glue-sticked a bow on my ass. It could be a special lawyer moment for us.

And Sandy, I hope this is making you smile. :D

Sandy, would you pls. post a link to their gift registry so we can make fun of it?

I have to disagree. Althea(sp?) should explain herself to Sandy and before the wedding. If the bride didn't want the extra stress she should have hired a wedding consultant and left Sandy out of the planning completely. Evelyn and the other girl should have been delegated these responsibilities.

Sandy introduced the couple, gave them advice on the relationship as well the wedding. Sound like to me she's gone above and beyond the call of duty. Enjoy the reunion weekend in CA.

If anything, Sandy talking to Aleathia before her wedding could actually alleviate some of the stress.

Think about it, you've been carrying around the knowlege (and guilt?) of not asking your supposed BFF to be a bridesmaid, are worried about how she'll react and who just found out about it via a reply on an internet site. If it were me, talking and getting it off my chest would make me feel loads better before my wedding.

If you're talking about adding more stress becuase it's uncertain of where the friendship is going, well, that was her decision. Sh*t happens. No wedding, nor the planning leading up to it, is ever perfect.

Oh yes...seeing Conservinator clones squirm in the presence of the Baby J. Put that in your hot dish. :p

Did I ever mention the SigEp I should pimp out to you? He's really cute!

Give him to me! Kath has more SigEp than she can handle already. :p

:D I love your deviousness!

Well, he is an RA...:) ;)

STAFF MEETING!

That seals it -- he's ALL MINE.

Staff meeting indeed.

Sandy,

It sounds like you are also friends with the groom. A lot of people have been focusing on the bride, and understandably so; but, perhaps you might also like to consider how each of the choices (going vs. not going) will impact your friendship with him as well.

Just a thought.

.....Kelly :)

She should have told you that she wasn't able to ask you. Its just nice to hear from her about the wedding party and not someone else. The girls comments make it seem like it was a big issue/secret that you were not going to be in the wedding.

I am also in the same situation. A great friend from high school is getting married in June. We kept in touch until three years ago. She kept up with one friend and another she talked to maybe three times in the last three years. Both those girls are bridesmaids and I am not even invited (there was not a fight). At least it saves me from buying a present.

Sandy, as others have said you have every right to be upset. I know I would.

A similiar thing happened to me when I was around 19. My friend, Michelle, who I had known since 4th grade got married. Now her family wasn't supportive b/c her husband to be (still husband) was 37 at the time. She was also 5 months pregnant. Throughout the relationship I was the supportive one (even though I personally didn't approve). I took her to doctors appointments. Helped them out, everything.

When I found out she was engaged I helped her any way I could with the wedding.

I found out after they were married that they had married and that she only had family (totally fine by me) but her bridesmaid was some chick she had met at work not three months prior. I was like WTF????!!!!??? I was so hurt and pissed.

But now being 26 I'm totally over it. She and I are still friends (although we don't talk as much as we should, she's got three kids I work full-time) but we are trying. That is what is important.


I think as for the wedding you really have to take a step back and decide if you want to continue the friendship with these two people. Just because you got the invite doesn't mean you are obligated to go to the wedding. Sometimes life happens. Or other plans have been made. They should know this as the bride and groom that sometimes not everyone they invite will be able to attend (ie. no money).

I do think that you should talk to your friend though. She should explain to you why you had to hear via third person that you weren't part of the wedding party. She should have told you herself.

Aww I can sort of relate to how you feel. One of my sorority sisters who i considered one of my closest friends (despite falling out of touch, but its only been a few months, since i had been having some hard times) got married this past weekend and I wasnt even invited :-(

A friend asked if I was going to confront her about it, which I think would be ridiculously selfish...to ruin even one shred of memory about her wedding with a confrontation. But I was upset and confused since we hadnt argued or had a negative falling out or anything, AND other sisters were invited.

For your friends sake, dont confront her :(