Dee, I was taught that, if someone uses my bread plate or such, to avoid using the wrong one unless everyone else does, too - even if it means doing without.

The bottom line of manners is to make everyone comfortable ("Politeness is to do and say/The kindest thing in the kindest way."), so pointing out a faux pas to someone (other than your significant other, child or such) would be a bigger faux pas than the original one.

Is that what your sister taught?

That is exactly what she said!

i can't remember the movie
 

but the characters were at a very formal dinner and one of the misinformed picked up the finger bowl and started to drink it-the hostess, upon seeing this, promptly did the same. to me, that is class!

at florida gulf coast university, once a year the university has a formal dinner where ettiquette is taught as you dine, and i am happy to say that the majority of the chapter that i advise attend.

When was in school, one of the campus orgs sponsored a yearly offsite semi-formal etiquette dinner. At each course of the meal, we were instructed by an expert who talked from a mic and took questions as they arose. It was great. There were even charts on the tables and reminders. I learned a lot! You had to pay $40 to attend, and it was held down at a hotel on Disney property--we always had a great time and the dinner was well-attended by Greeks and non-Greeks.

I hear many fraternities
and sororities teach
table manners so as
to make sure that their
members leave a lasting
and wonderful impression
at Dennys.

I work for a catering company in Philadelphia, in the UPenn Museum. A number of graduate schools, including Wharton and the Penn Medical programs use us for their interview dinners. Additionally, we also cater dinners and receptions for major corporations who are hiring UPenn students. We do everything from served dinners, buffets, and receptions. I cannot tell you how horrible the manners of these students are.

First, unless you are trained, you have no idea how to hold a plate, glass and napkin properly at a reception without giving the peope you network with a cold wet hand.

The state of these tables when we go to clean up is another issue. Propective employers, esp with Wharton students, look to see how you conduct yourself at a table. When you make a mess of the table, that is not a sign that says "Hire me, I'm polished and will impress anyone"

Manners are about impressions and treating others kindly. I'm sorry to say that it is sadly disappearing. It does not take much to learn and is often quite fun. At a RLW workshop we had Ma Nonnie come and teach us basic table etiquette. She was great, it was fun and I learned a lot. This isn't brain science.

AST's purpose is to "cultivate the cultural, social and ethical development of her members" I would without a doubt say that this falls under social development. But then that is me.

My chapter has always done a catered "Parent's Day" luncheon in the spring where we have the campus "Miss Manners" come and talk about table etiquette - the parents love it because it's not another cookout at our house and it gives everyone a chance to brush up.