To Munchkin-

We're getting married next year but have kept it quiet b/c of the pressure that I would get from my family & the drama that his mom would create. My family would start pushing for a HUGE elaborate affair that would make us both uncomfortable & his mom would likely fake illness or god knows what else to keep him from getting married b/c that would mean he would leave her.

We plan to announce it after the New Year b/c I'll be graduating (fingers crossed) in May & we want to wait until I'm done.

I hope this answers any confusion there might have been.

Ironically, girls in baseball hats bat about .300 - under a third can actually pull it off, but the ones that do are headed for the hall of fame. It's related to similar catagories such as "looks good first thing in the morning" and "can rock pajama pants and still be attractive" and unrelated to "could probably kick my ass" and "has more high school sports letters than I do" . . .

If you need to sneak around because you're afraid of family pressure, are you really ready to be getting married?

I have two things to say about this.

(1) pajama pants and white tank top.

(2) field hockey players.



(edited to add, the "under a third can actually pull it off, but the ones that do are headed for the hall of fame" was pretty damn funny.)

1) - exactly my point; an overdone look, to be sure, but still hot like balls when properly accomplished

2) - a good-looking example of the "jock" class - but I could still kick most of their asses, so they're hot w/ a purpose.

Unfortunately, you can't choose the family you are born into. :rolleyes: You can also choose to distance yourself from them (I sure as hell did!) BUT you can work at breaking the dyfunction cycle because if the cycle is not broken history will only repeat itself!

19 year old brother... freshman at ithaca... cocky as anything! i hope he outgrows this stage soon so he doesn't fail his ass outta college!

Well said Jill1228.

I said: a lot of you folks are messed up and have messed up families.

You said: you are messed up and have messed up families and hoping it's not a cycle.

-Rudey

I can't think of a family member that I dislike. I guess that's weird but I get along with everyone in my family.

I have this uncle who used to be in a band called Spider & The Crabs, so since he was the lead guitarist everyone calls him Spider. He smokes 2 packs a day and has a ranch in Nebraska and when he arrives, he calls to the cattle, "Ladies?" and they all trot over to the fence where he is.

Right. It's all about maturity. If you can't stand up to your parents, why do you think marriage is going to make you grow a pair? :confused:

What's wrong with saying, "we're getting married, but we don't want an elaborate affair"? That's what adults do...

Ummm...I don't remember ever saying we were sneaking around. I said that we prefer not to announce any plans for a wedding until after the New Year. After 6 years, both our families know the other exists. We have never snuck (sneaked?) around. We just prefer to keep our plans private for the time being.

Unless you come from an EXTREMELY traditional family of Mexican Catholics, you really can't understand what it's like. 5 of my elder sisters had to elope to escape the pressure brought down on them by the family. It's sad that things have to happen this way but it's really how we have chosen to do things. I have seen what the intense pressure & scrutiny can do ESPECIALLY b/c we are not of the same ethnicity or religion.

It's easy for people to make snap judgements. It's easy to tell me to just be mature about it & tell them & eventually they'll get over it. Unless you've spent the last 6 years in my relationship & trying to deal with what we've faced, then I wouldn't be so hasty to make these judgements on someone else's relationship.

I wouldn't say I dislike my little sister, but I abhor the choices in her life she makes. Then again, when I do something stupid, I can at least say "Well, I didn't turn out like THAT!".
I realize that's pretty cruel. But she is now 18, almost 19. She has a 1 1/2 year old son, dated our second cousin, broke up with him on a cruise in Mexico so that she could date my mom's friend, a crazy lady in her 30's. Not a pretty picture.

no disrespect, but...
 

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