I love that idea! Can you please let us know the exact phraseology? This would help when writing recs this summer.

I can't believe the advisor let the alum know that her sister had been cut by E-MAIL! :eek:

One positive about revealing legacies to other groups is that this lets the other groups know that the family understands Greek life and the girl will be likely to pay her dues and be a contributing member because she has probably heard about it all her life.

A note on what to say on recs:
If I know that a girl will be openminded in recruitment, I usually say "Susie knows a lot about the benefits of sorority life because of her sister/mom's sorority experience, but she is excited about creating her own Greek experience and is really pumped about meeting the DGs during recruitment." Just something to say that she is excited to look at every house, not just her legacy house.

The chapter didn't let the older sister know at all. The PNM called her sister, who had been waiting by her phone during recruitment and was excited because she'd heard no bad news from the chapter, and told her she'd been cut. The older sister contacted the chapter and the president pretty much hung up on her, though the caller was not unpleasant and only wanted to know why she hadn't heard anything.

Older sister then found the chapter advisor's email address and emailed her. The advisor was quite defensive and sent the rude email that pretty much played off their failure to contact her. I think that the sister then emailed her national group, forwarding the copy of the advisor's email, and never heard back.

I doubt that the older sister, who was very active while in college (also in Rho Lambda and Order of Omega), will ever be an active alum.

That's nuts. I mean, the least they could do is call her if they've got the nerve to cut her sister. I don't know what I'd do if DG cut my little sister and didn't even call me... but I know I'd be livid about it.

I wonder if that is the same chapter at UGA that "forgot" to call my sister's friend's mom when the friend was cut during recruitment.

Some NPC groups specifically do NOT tell the legacy of the PNM when they cut the PNM in order to protect the PNM's privacy.

Before you jump to too many conclusions, you should check DGs policy towards contacting the relative of a legacy PNM. Gamma Phi leaves it to the PNM to contact the person.

My chapter's policy was always that we had to contact the relative first and we were told that this was a national policy.

With the huge number of legacies going through recruitment, and the large number of PNM's at recruitment at some schools, when are these phone calls and emails supposed to happen? At schools where I have assisted with recruitment, chapters (not just ADPi) often don't finish with membership selection until after midnight sometimes... and PNM's have a very early "call time" to come and pick up invites for the next morning.

And why are the alumnae owed a phone call or heads-up to begin with? Are professors supposed to start calling parents when their child is habitually late to class?

As someone who sits through the selection meetings every night, every year, makes sure the invite lists are correct to turn in to Panhellenic by the deadline (typically 5am for us), gets my kids off to school in the morning, then is back at the Chapter house for the next round of parties with a smile on my face and trying to look like I had more than a few hours of sleep, yeah there is no time. Not with the number of legacies we now have going through Recruitment each year. (Side note: Is it any wonder I end up sick every year after Bid Day?)

Sure it would be a lot easier on a campus where only a few legacy PNMs were going through. But that's not the case on a lot of campuses, particularly SEC schools. Auburn is the most extreme example of this situation I know. I heard that the ADPi Chapter last year had 1 1/2 times quota worth of legacies going through. What was quota at Auburn last year? Something like 80+? (Sorry, don't remember) There's no way anyone in that Chapter could make around 100 phone calls. That is the primary reason by ADPi stopped requiring Chapters to call the alums when their legacy PNM is released.

As a Mom myself, I know it's got to suck big time! But as an Advisor, I'm grateful not to have to make all those calls. If someone calls me though I'm more than happy to speak to them. They probably will not like what I have to say because I'm not going to violate the confidentiality of our selection process.

I do my best to explain the difficulties in the process. I find that email Carnation spoke of to be appalling. This is our sister who is hurting and angry at her sorority. That email just poured salt in an open wound. I try as best I can to be supportive and explain the situation. It doesn't help much, but most of the time I think I've been successful at helping her get over her blinding rage.

I also instruct my Pres, Recruitment Vice Pres and every other officer to direct these calls to me. I will not allow my officers to be abused by angry alums which is often what ends up happening. The officers don't understand what they can and can't say, nor are they skilled in grief and/or anger management. Most of the time the active would end up in tears and the alum would still be boiling. I need my officers focused on the task at hand for the next round of parties. So I take on the responsibility of dealing with these difficult situations.

What about the alums that go to recruitment? I know of a few instances where an alum has travelled to her old school to "push" a girl through...or worse, make sure one doesn't get through.

Nothing infuriates my daughter(an active at an SEC school) more than an alumnae who vetoes(no recs) a girl that the other actives like and want, and there is nothing they can do about it. She related a story once where a very nice girl that they all liked, had a rumor spread about her in a small town. An alum that was present at rush and had heard about it, and believed it, refused to listen to the actives when they told her it wasn't true at all. My daughter says that they are the ones in the sorority now, and they are the ones who have to get along with this new sister...it should be their decision, not the alums , about who they are going to be spending their time with.

I do think being a legacy should mean something though...at least get them another round so that the girls have a chance to get to know them and see if she does fit in...but just because she is a legacy should not be the final determining factor.

You make it sound like alumnae are involved with MS and voting? What? Or are you saying that they are just trying to exert influence?

At UGA, I've heard stories from several chapters about alums coming into the house during work week to say good or bad things about rushees to make them vote for/against the girls. We never had that happen during the formal rushes when I was there, but I can see how it might frustrate a chapter for an alum to just "drop by" to try to influence voting.

Apparently, they write an "instant" rec and mark "not recommended" on it...if this happens, the GLO cannot take the girl no matter what. So the actives never get to vote on her. Sorry if I didn't make that clear.

Is this a local?? I don't know of any NPC that would have a policy like this!!:eek:

I don't think there are locals at SEC schools.