Comparison of Northern and Southern Football
 

Comparison of Northern and Southern Football

WOMEN'S ACCESSORIES
North: Chap stick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.
South: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, water-proof mascara,and a fifth of bourbon. Money not necessary; that's what dates are for.

STADIUM SIZE
North: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
South: High School football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

FATHERS
North: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath.
South: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.

CAMPUS DECOR
North: Statues of founding fathers.
South: Statues of Heisman Trophy winners.

HOMECOMING QUEEN
North: Also a physics major.
South: Also Miss USA.

HEROES
North: Mario Cuomo.
South: Paul "Bear" Bryant.

GETTING TICKETS
North: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus and purchase tickets.
South: 5 months before the game walk into the ticket office on campus and put name on waiting list for tickets after you donate $5K to the Athletic Fund.

FRIDAY CLASSES AFTER A THURSDAY NIGHT GAME
North: Students and teacher are not sure if they are going to the game,because they have classes on Friday.
South: Teachers cancel Friday classes because they don't want to see the few hung over students that might actually make it to class.

PARKING
North: An hour before game time the University open the campus for game parking.
South: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.

GAME DAY
North: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
South: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera and wave to the idiots up North who wonder why "Game Day Live" is never broadcast from their campus.

TAILGATING
North: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.
South: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance by "Hootie and the Blowfish," who come over during breaks and ask for a hit off bottle of bourbon.

GETTING TO THE STADIUM
North: You ask "Where's the stadium?". When you find
it, you walk right in.
South: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it becomes the state's third largest city.

CONCESSIONS
North: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top
with soda.
South: Drinks served in a plastic cup with the home team's mascot on it. Filled less than halfway with soda, to ensure enough room for bourbon.

WHEN NATIONAL ANTHEM IS PLAYED
North: Stands are less than half full, and less than
half of them stand up.
South: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect 3-part harmony.

THE SMELL IN THE AIR AFTER THE FIRST SCORE
North: Nothing changes.
South: Fireworks, with a touch of bourbon.

COMMENTARY (MALE)
North: "Nice play."
South: "Dammit, you slow sumbitch - tackle him and break his legs!!"

COMMENTARY (FEMALE)
North: "My, this certainly is a violent sport."
South: "Dammit, you slow sumbitch - tackle him and break his legs!!"

ANNOUNCERS
North: Neutral and paid.
South: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.

AFTER THE GAME
North: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
South: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker. While somebody goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon, planning begins for next week's game.

Priceless, TSteven!!! You've got it nailed!

Really? I don't recall all Southerners being alcoholics.:p

Alcoholics? Nooooo.

People who appreciate the social aspects of drinking and can (for the most part) hold their liquor? Absolutely!

Bourbon -- never go to a football game without it. ;)

BTW Russ, you're dead on! The ACC is second to none!

I'm not clear on that one, either! Who has Thursday night football games? Here, professors cancel Friday classes because the fans' RV's that started coming into town on Wednesday have taken up the student parking spaces!

By JIM NAZIUM, Associated Press Writer

(AP) GAINESVILLE - The University of Florida has announced that it will play all home football games on Thursday nights, starting with the 2005 season. "We realized that any school with the colors of a fast food restaurant, really should not consider itself part of college football" explained Jeremy Foley, the schools athletic director. "We are still proud members of the SEC, although we would gladly consider a change in our colors if the ACC should offer us membership. Then we would truly be a part of college football."

The ACC can have UF if they really wanted it. Don't think you would have too many SEC fans complaining. :p

ESPN pays to move games to Thursday evenings.

11.11.04 Florida State at North Carolina State

http://seminoles.ocsn.com/sports/m-f...tbl-sched.html

10.07.04 Clemson at Virginia

http://clemsontigers.ocsn.com/sports...tbl-sched.html

10.14.04 Louisville at Miami

http://hurricanesports.ocsn.com/spor...tbl-sched.html

yea right
 

bulldog fans certainly wouldn't complain...seeing as how Gators have beat them TWELVE out of Thirteen times!

$$$

I guess ESPN is paying the SEC what its worth, nothing.:p

Walking through the parking lots days before games through RVs of people already grilling out and playing football. Amd you can't beat downtown nights before games (and after) when all the streets are flooded with people.

Yep. The SEC is too busy getting bigger bucks for ESPN Saturday night games - often on espn2 as well - and then there are all those games on CBS. The SEC isn't hurting when it comes to revenue. :D

Espn figures Thursday is the only day normal sports fans will watch the ACC games. Because Saturday everyone is watching the SEC because its the best football around. FSU and probably NC State were the only decent ACC football teams. Now that Miami ,VT are joing the ACC FSU might have a real challenge and won't be able to claim they are the best in the ACC as easily. Wonder why FSU isn't playing VT in the 2004 season. NC State and even Wake Forrest is playing VT and Miami. :p

What he said! Gotta love my ACC hoops!

I think some of the perceptions here are a weeeeee bit off. But it's okay because the Northern Army is better.

And that's been proven. :p

I really want to go to an SEC football game this summer when I visit my relatives to see what the hoopla is all about - I still think the UW team could hold their own against these schools.

ALSO Marquette football definitely still rules. :D