I know!!! That will definitely be awesome!!!

Our chapter is known for having lots of girls get engaged as seniors...then again, lots of Vanderbilt women get engaged as seniors. Today I was talking to my mom about it and she asked, "Well what would make your chapter have a high ratio of engaged girls?". Guess ADPi women are just that irresistible...We pass the candle from person to person and the President announces what it is for, just as someone described. We do "Pass It On", "I Love the Pin", and "Going to the Chapel". The other day it came up and we wondered what you do for pregnancy-"Little ADPi"?
We had a candle pass for Pref ceremony this year that was really beautiful and we sang "Pass It On". There was a slight variation, though-we had the PNM's in front of the actives, and whoever was speaking lit their candle first. Everyone had a candle, and the active next to them lit their candle, then they lit their PNM's, then the next active's, and so on. I think much of our new Pref was borrowed from another chapter, but I don't know which. It was awesome-mingled with speaking parts, we sang "White Shining Stars" as the girls came in, "Pass It On", and then a small group of us, me included, sang "Have a Little Faith in Me", and we ended with "Little ADPi" (I plan to have a girl who can sing the melody line so that I can harmonize, or teach my honorary ADPi mom).

As it was said earlier, I was to my understanding during college that you didnt' do candle passes for pregnancies. That was something that wasn't dicussed and the sister suddenly went "honorary alum."

Since there are so many sisters waiting to get married until after graduation, I don't see a problem with doing one in an alum group to honor pregnancy, but i personally dont feel it should be done in a collegiate chapter.

Some of that sounds similar to what my chapter does (or at least used to do when I was active) for preference parties. We had the speaking parts, the candle *lighting* (instead of passing the candle, we lit the candles in the circle as you described) and sang different songs, as well as reciting (and singing) the creed. I always loved preference night....why do you think I went ADPi? :)

Why do you think we all went ADPi! Pref is one of my favorite nights. I only wish it was practiced more so that the sisters felt more comfortable with it and could be more relaxed and geniune.

We sing pass it on the WHOLE TIME and we do them for friendship (1 time around) drops/promise ring(2 times around)
engaged (3 times) pregnant (4 times)

I hope I get to have one someday....they are my favorite!!

I guess I'm really old school...Does the pregnancy pass at the collegiate level bother anyone else?

No, it bothers me, too. Candlelights are supposed to be for a joyous occasion, and I don't consider an unplanned pregnancy while someone's unmarried as particularly joyous. I can remember talking about this with another alumna, and she shrugged, "Look at it this way - at least she didn't have an abortion." So, I've tried to look at it that way.

When we had a candle pass for a sister who was pregnant she was married so it wasn't like it was unplanned. Also i think sometimes alum that remain in the area that are advisors etc could do a candle pass if they were having a baby

Was the married sister an active or an alum? Our married sisters were made honorary alums after the wedding.

I can understand alums doing pregnancy passes. In fact, i hope i will get the chance to do one. But pregnancy in the chapter. I guess i'll just have to look at it the same way...that atleast the baby is not being aborted. I guess it was just taboo in our area. The prego sisters were made honorary alums the minute they found out there were pregnant. Not even a chance to explain to other sisters at a meeting or anything.

That's crazy. I feel I can comment on this because there were two sisters in the chapter during my time that became pregnant. The first one told the chapter as a whole and let them know that should would be going alum (by choice not by force). The second one became pregnant in her final semester as an ADPi. She didn't tell everyone right away, but eventaully told the entire chapter. She stayed the entire semester and became a Pi member with the other seniors. Neither of them were married- but they were never treated any differently for this. We were there for them in their time of need. Maybe times have changed....the first pregnancy was in 1998 and the second was in 2001.

Maybe it just seemed more strict at our chapter, being in the bible belt. We had one sister become pregnant while i was there and she did go alum, but without any notice to the chapter. That was in 1999. She was still loved and supported, just given less of an active role in the chapter. She was welcomed with wide arms by the alums as well.

In my chapter I have seen one women become pregnant while still an undergrad. She went alum right away. I think with my chapter it is less trying to say that you shouldn't get pregnant as an undergrad and unmarried, but more that she needs to be able to focus her time on what is important. She would not have time to be in school, active in the chapter, and raise a baby all on her own. In the end as a chapter we were very welcoming to help her out where we could (babysitting and what not), but the factor was that she needed to focus her time elsewhere.

Times DO change, and sometimes, it's hard for alumnae to realize that. Please try to remember that when y'all are dealing with alumnae who love you, but may not completely understand the necessity of a pierced eyebrow or such!

Y'all don't realize how many times I read some things posted on GreekChat, or have seen them in chapter, and have been absolutely dumbfounded!! I usually chalk it up to old age (!) and move on, smiling quietly...

We had a candlelight shortly after our last Pref party during Formal Recruitment this past fall. To my shock and surprise the candle kept going round and round. 4 times to be exact. One our girls was pregnant! It was such a bittersweet candlelight. The girl who was pregnant went inactive, but still plays a huge roll in our chapter. She's been helping us tons with various things! She's due April 11 and I can't wait! She's having a little legacy!!

-Linds
BB