You are a ghetto Christian . . . . .

If you steal someone's parking space, when you know they were there first, and then say "what a beautiful day the Lord has made this morning."

When you are talking about some "Passa sure did preach a good sermon this mornin. I just feel the Lord workin on my heart" as you are driving home, and then turn around in the next breath and curse somebody out for driving crazy.

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Uhhhh is yo organist skrate or is he bent wrist???:confused:

I still don't think that tops the pank and fuschia satin suit my (girl) friend Bryan wore last Easter Sunday.............:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

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Can you folks with the colorful church folks start taking your camera to church? Take some pictures for me? You can just send them to me. I will only forward it on to my mama. :D :cool:

I have to share this story. This pass weekend I had death in the family. Anyway as I walked by my uncle's casket, I proceeded to walk out of the church because I felt very faint. Once I reach outside some of my family members, were asking me if I was okay. When I got a chance to get myself together, I told them that I did not want to become a victim of the white sheet and smelling salt. After I made that statement, the church's nursing unit, were outside with the white sheet and the smelling salt.

Re: Today at church
 

You are so wrong. I am rolling at my desk.

I'm getting sick just thinking about it now. That was the nastiest thing I have seen in all my 21 years...

i'm rotfl cause i thought my church was the only one that uses smelling salts!

ok....i was hesitant to share this one, but my sister just let me hear it and i HAD to share it with you guys. this is a preacher that attends her friend's church.....i'll let you guys hear sis. electra for yourselves....just call her voicemail...yes, i said voicemail....this woman really be going off:

(313) 438-0023


i hear she updates her message every week....i was in my office in shock, rotfl....

Choir rehersal had to end early because someone broke a window to get into the church because the police was chasing him. :o

The whole dog on church COLLAPSES because it was in such bad shape. Thankfully the new church was already built and no one was in the old church.

Church members were persuaded to increase their offerings because the pastor needed dental work.

Ahhh...those were the days, I need to go back there one Sunday. :(

Ummmm what the hayle is that? And, what is it for?

Some churches when you are "slain in the spirit" or catch/get the Holy Ghost and you fall out on the ground. They cover you with a sheet and if you actually pass out, they awaken you with smelling salts.

my brother says they cover the bottom part of your body with the sheet so the deacons can't see your business!!! lololol!!!

That's exactly why they do it. Some women fall out and their skirts hike up a little too high. Some people call them modesty coverings!

If you want to see the colorful suits, I have 3 words for you AMERICAN PANTS COMPANY! If you have one of these stores, just go in and look at the racks. Especially around Easter. Suits and shoes in every color imaginable. Easter Sunday can be really hilarious because you are guaranteed to see at least 3 people rocking the same ill-fitted, cheap and colorful suit from the same store....

And about the smelling salts....that happened to one of my girlfriends! No kidding!

LOL!! this has been so far the funniest thread I have read. I was raised in the church all my life. My Grandpa was a Bishop of a prominent Cogic church in Cleveland. ANd i swear I have witness at least one of everything that has been mentioned in this thread. Thank you ladies for making me remember and having a good laugh.

LOL! Too funny. I have definitely seen a few of those before.