LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOL!!! !!!

Spit out my water!!!!!!


OMG!!!!

LOL did you like that????

The sad thing is that I'm speaking from experience here......

DO use your fingers as well as your tongue while you're down there. I know it's awkward because the chin gets in the way, but deal with it

DON'T try to impress me with tongue gymnastics. Keep is simple, stupid

DO tell me how good it feels

DON'T light up a cigarette afterwards

DON'T: Attempt to snuggle/cuddle. I'm not that kind of girl.

I like to cuddle. :)

Don't be shy

Do Turn my ass out:D

LOL this is tooo FUNNY!!!
:D

Do: Kiss me soft and gentle, and look into my eyes
Dont: Kiss sloppy and wet and try to stick your tounge down my throat at all times, I do need to breathe!!!

Do: Caress my back softly
Dont: Grab and pull at my skin and butt and rake your nails in my back!! NOT NICE!

Do: Make sure you please me
Dont: Just try to get yourself off and leave me hanging and expect me to be OK with it

Do: Pay attention to my body and notice the things I like and dislike..body language is powerful
Dont: ask me every 2 seconds if im "there" yet, if you keep asking Ill NEVER get there...

DO: Smack my ass (but not too hard)
Don't: pretend that you accidently put your dick in my ass-- if you don't know the difference between the holes get out of my bed

AMEN!

DO: Try a sex swing... at least once, you'll be hooked!
DON'T: Try using the swing set in the backyard.

DO: Nibble on my ear lobe :)
DON'T: Pull a Mike Tyson, I like my ears the way they are!

DO: Write erotic notes/stories for me.
DON'T: Call to ask if you just want to fuck.

DO: Make sure your roommate is gone.
DON'T: Ask them to join in.

OMG!!! :eek: :eek:

DO: Look me in the eyes
DON'T: Call it by your pet name( ie: "Do you like Harry?"!!!!!!!!!) ECH! What are you, 12??

DO: Respond to sounds...Louder moans mean GOOD WORK, STAY RIGHT THERE!
DON'T: Smoke before or after...ICK!

DO: Set the right atmosphere: the proper music is a GREAT aphrodisiac
DON'T: Assume it ALWAYS has to lead to sex

DO: Warn me before I get something in the eye, mouth, face, etc...
DON'T: Assume I'm always a good girl ;)

i have a story about that one. i dont think i need to say what happened. i will put it this way, it was in the eye! :eek:

I have one too- same thing... my story ends with "Mom, I cannot believe I got pink eye from a cat!"

Too f*cking funny!!! Thank you for adding laughter to my work day. :D

Do: Tackle me on the bed after you haven't seen me for awhile.
Don't: Force yourself inside me if I am not warmed up!