I guess I can understand why someone might prefer to not join a house that dirty rushes. However, no one on GC can make this decision for you.

If the way this sorority is reaching out to you you don't like then don't go to the events.

You seem to be very caught up on the words "dirty rushing" and I'm not sure why. I just get a feeling that your looking to confirm they are dirty rushing and then do what with that info?

The problem is if she doesn't go to the events she is invited to it could be construed as rude or snobbish.

Well, if she's not interested in them because they are dirty rushing, then it doesn't matter if they think she's rude or snobbish, n'est pas?

Titchou, I agree with what 33girl is saying. What if she's going to a school with 5 sororities, and all 5 are going to have some sort of this pre-rush soiree. If she declines them all, they may wonder if she's at all serious about joining. We don't know the culture (ok, I don't know the culture). So now she's shot herself in the foot for any chance of joining on her campus, all because she didn't attend these pre-rush parties? I will never understand the south and sororities.

Also, as much as she's been called a troll or a mom or a momtroll or throwing shade, she has brought up something that I never heard of and I thought was interesting and worth discussing, and I'm not the only one who had that opinion, as this thread is 4 pages long. I am glad she has decided to stop posting and I hope whatever she does, she's happy with her decision. But maybe we, myself included, can all ease up a little to learn something new!

There is no SEC school with only 5 sororities as far as I know, and I feel fairly safe in saying that if even one or two or a small handful of chapters on any given campus do sponsor events like she has described, not every chapter would do so.

Parties like those described are common where I live. Not every group does that kind of unofficial pre-rushing by alums, but a handful do, and they are all prestigious groups in this area.

I love this thread so much I have come out of hibernation. This is so clearly a
mom with an ax to grind. So dear OP, back away from the keyboard. Your daughter is going to be mortally embarrassed at a minimum or singled out during recruitment as a result. You are digging in deep.

Agreed. Any chapter that gets this girl in recruitment is probably going to have a real trouble maker on their hands.

Tagging on to what you said - if all 5 sororities are holding pre-rush soirees, then is it really "dirty rushing"? Or is a party only "dirty" if the refreshments are nicer than the ones served at another sorority's event?



Oy, before I had read all of the new posts in the thread, I too began to think to myself that the OP sounded like a mom posing as the daughter. :o If so, then I don't understand why she would be so wrapped up in worry about "dirty rushing" by one particular alum or sorority. The only thing I can think of (wildly speculating) would be that mom is a sorority member and she's upset that another sorority is putting on the ritz for pre-rush parties. Or, if not in a sorority, then she's just confused and weirded out about how sorority life operates. OP, if you are a high school girl, then yes I agree with the others that the way you "speak" online sounds "different" and that may stand out at recruitment.

<shrug> This whole thread seems odd to me. :confused:

For my part, nothing that the OP has described, from the 4-course meal to the light discussions on "I hope we will see you on bid day" and "Oh, Suzy sister is also an accounting major too!", sounds "dirty" to me. Going to a graduation party and having someone's mom order a catered lunch is not considered a recruitment infraction for purchasing a meal for a PNM.

OP, I kindly state that you seem to be over-thinking about the graduation party and seem to be grossly misunderstanding both the spirit and letter of recruitment rules. Like another member said, if you feel that the sorority members' actions have pushed the boundaries and that those behaviors are in conflict with your personal values and your personal interpretation of recruitment rules, by all means, you have the right to mark this particular sorority down as the lowest rank on your card each night of recruitment and/or not accept a bid from them if offered. Just go with the flow on each day of recruitment and keep that open mind. Good luck.

The only part of the story that is creepy is the God wants you to join our chapter. None of this is commonplace in my area, but it is fascinating nonetheless.

Wasn't there a major scene (and plot point) in Eating The Cheshire Cat by Helen Ellis that portrayed a -- fictional -- pre-recruitment party thrown by an alumna to check out or "push" girls who might be suitable for one particular sorority at Alabama?

While fiction, and undoubtedly exaggerated, I think it at least reflected a practice that's not unfamiliar in the Southern sorority world.

This thread reminds me of this one goofy movie I saw a few years back called "Sorority Wars" where a couple of alum moms (Courtney Thorne Smith) were pushing this one daughter, a legacy, to join a "top tier" sorority and she wanted to be in a different sorority.

This is it here: http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay...tt_pv_vi_aiv_1

That movie has been running on Lifetime lately. Hmmm.... I just watched part of it today, and thought the same thing. I'd never seen it before. The moms were ACTIVE alumnae of the same sorority...one had a daughter who joined the legacy sorority and then another one's daughter "tattled" on them during recruitment for some infraction (missed what it was, only picked up that she had tattled and incurred much wrath) and ended up joining their rival sorority.