In their minds, they simply do not want the chapter. They would rather not be Greek (whether or not that is a fair or correct assessment). Chastising someone may, in fact, reinforce the PNMs view rather than persuade her otherwise.

Not sure, but under no circumstance is someone obligated to tell you any reason for why they listed chapters the way they did.

If someone doesn't insult or degrade anyone, they should be free to ask a question without a university employee/adviser jumping all over them. The simple act of SIP'ing is not an insult. If she had said "I didn't want that chapter because ALL of them are (insert insult)", then by all means would you be justified in defending your position. But she didn't do that, and not everyone who comes here to ask questions does.

You don't think it is insulting to SIP because someone would rather receive no bid than a bid from a particular chapter? Okay. Then I guess we can agree to disagree. Telling someone that having a hard time finding a friend in a sea of 300+ women is unlikely and possibly due to their own attitude is hardly insulting them. It's being honest. I stand behind that statement and I won't apologize. It's a harsh reality. Depending upon her class standing and the fact that even struggling chapters don't necessarily struggle that much to find women to join them, she may have just missed the boat to become Greek. That's a reality.

I think SIP is insulting in SOME situations, but not all. And we don't know the backstory, she wasn't providing it and wasn't obligated to in any way. So no, I don't find it insulting without knowing more details. You are free to make any judgements you like, but others of us will come to their defense because we are seasoned enough to know that sometimes there are situations where SIP could be understandable. And again, her post wasn't a personal pity party unlike other posters, so your response is really unwarranted and a major turnoff.

I have known young ladies who would really be scraping together every dime and incurring debt to go Greek. I think that is a compelling reason to ISP. Why go into debt when you aren't feeling it? Going through recruitment doesn't establish a commitment to accept a bid.

^This is a reason I can get behind choosing not to go Greek. There aren't too many other reasons I can think of but, irishpipes generally has something interesting to share. Thank you, irishpipes.

I advise at a school with only 3 chapters. There is only one invitational event before pref. Frequently we have PNMs who must miss a round of parties for athletic or academic commitments. After only meeting them once, we have to decide if we want to meet them for the 2nd time at preference meaning we'd be required to put them on a bid list. It is almost impossible to get exceptions granted to not list every woman at preference.

I went to a recruitment party where the sorority members I was grouped with went on and on about how drunk they like to get. They tried to sell me on the sorority by telling me about how they charter a bus to Mexico every year and get completely blitzed on the drive down. I get that college kids like to drink; but, the conversation was too over the top for me and their discussions about drinking until throwing up went outside the bounds of good taste for a recruitment event. I might have ISP'd in that situation.

Also, some members here have previously expressed concern over chapters that might be too religious for their tastes. If a girl is atheist and she goes to pref at a chapter where they gush about weekly Bible studies that "everyone" attends and how the chapter goes to church together, she might be tempted to ISP for another chapter.

Sometimes a girl chooses to ISP for reasons that can be explained.

This has been a great thread. I pretty much agree with als. I am anti sip however I have seen that new member showing up at bid day with a sour puss because the dirty rushing or tent talk has told her crazy stuff. It is up to the chapter to keep recruiting her through out her pledging process. And seems a bit closed minded to me for a girl to say there is only one place for her, when there are many many girls in each chapter of which she can bond if she tried. Oh and if money is the reason. . For goodness sakes don't go greek.

For those who are anti-SIP: you'd rather Patty PNM list two chapters, one of which if she gets she will decline the bid, and therefore take a spot from Betsy PNM who would love a bid to the chapter Patty didn't want? That's just silliness.

Perhaps "a friend" is not what she's looking for in sorority membership. Perhaps six friends is not what she's looking for, and perhaps nothing about the symbols, philanthropy, or collective vibe spoke to her. That's HER choice.

So, a simple "Your chances of a bid through COB are probably slim, but you can't know unless you sign up." might have been appropriate.

well stated.

I think that just about anyone can find women she connects with in a large chapter, but if someone is going to be closed minded and a bitch on bid day because she got her last choice, I'd prefer that she SIP and not ruin the day of the women who are happy to be there. If she never gets the chance to be Greek as a result of her SIP, she's the one that has to live with her choice. She's the only one in the world affected by her decision.

We are talking about 17, 18, and 19 year old women (for the most part). Keep that in mind.

It's easy for us to say, from our viewpoints as GLO members, "there is no bad chapter" "you can make friends" blah blah blah. These young women may not think that way or have the benefit of our experience(s). It is what it is.

Can we all agree that we see this from a variety of perspectives and leave it at that?

get off the computer. you are away until Friday earliest!