Good luck, girl! You have a great attitude and just remember...even if the convos are awkward now, it doesn't mean the girls are! Recruitment is inherently rough, especially when convos are so short.

Hope you find your home :)

Just had a rough night. I'm doing this real-time now because I love hearing all your comments and encouragement <3

Hey guys!

So today I got my schedule for first rounds.
I got back:

Peter Pan
Aladdin
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Toy Story
Hercules
Mulan
The Emperor's New Groove
Monster's Inc.
Lilo & Stitch
The Incredibles
Enchanted
Tangled

I got 12 out of a maximum of 13 which was good but it was a little hard not to be jealous of girls that got 13. Also I got all my bottoms back, but like I said, I don't feel like my rankings will have much effect until pref night.

First rounds is the philanthropy round. You get 30 minutes with each sorority and most showed a video on their philanthropy and had a little craft or activity to do. It still was crowded and I was double or triple rushed (found out this term after reading other stories haha) in all of them. It was interesting rushing with new girls though, since everyone's schedule was different.

For the first day I went to six.

Monster's Inc. - This one was really good! I got so excited to go back here. I talked with two girls and it was good. The philanthropy was good. We didn't talk about anything super interesting but I hope I get called back.

Toy Story - This was really bad. It set me in a bad mood. The second girl didn't even look at me at all. I find that so rude and it really just makes you feel poor about yourself, you know? Also the second girl made some comments that made me question her morals and the type of girl she was.

Enchanted - This one was not good. I was not responsive and felt like a bitch. I just felt so bad because I didn't come in open minded at all. I do not want to be called back here.

The Nightmare Before Christmas - Much much better than last time! The girl I talked to was great. Their philanthropy was great as well. It was a good turnaround from the first round.

The Incredibles - I was surprised they called me back. One convo was a bit awkward but overall their conversations were pretty good and their philanthropy and the way they raised money was cute and creative. I felt a bit fake at this party though. I think because I knew the stereotype of the sorority and it freaked me out. I don't want to be fake but it's hard because if someone says something that you're like "eh" about, I still feel the need to be like, "I love that!" I don't know.. I'm trying hard to be myself but it's so confusing.

The Emperor's New Groove - This one was good as well. Nice girls and good philanthropy. The last girl I talked to was so nice! Again I felt that awkward feeling of, "Am I being myself?" This one was especially confusing because I knew it could be possible the only reason I got called back was because I was a legacy.

At the end, I was feeling really mixed. I felt bad for how I acted in Toy Story, and I also started to become afraid that I wasn't being myself. Again, I also don't want to admit who I really want or hope too much because if I don't get them back, it's admitting failure. I know I shouldn't think like that but it's hard not to let this process push your ego around.

We get a day off before the second day of first rounds, so I'm hoping to relax, get some school work done, and just have time to myself. I wish I had more people to talk to. It's hard to explain how I'm feeling with words. It seems like everyone knows that their sorority is THE ONE for them and I'm afraid that's not how I feel. I'm not sure if the sorority tends to grow on the girl as they go on or if I'm just missing out on something.

After thinking it for a while, I decided the next six I'm going to I'm going to try to be as honest and myself as possible. If a sister says they love something, I won't lie and say, " OMG, I love it too!" but instead say something like, "I haven't seen it but I heard it was really good/what do you like about it" etc.

NEXT DAY

Lilo & Stitch - It started not that great but got a little better. The philanthropy was good but I'm not sure how I feel about them.
Mulan - Not bad. Philanthropy was ok. First girl I talked to I had very little in common but the other two I had pretty good conversations. These girls were nice.
Peter Pan - Surprisingly good! We talked about thoughtless things but it was fun. I liked their philanthropy . The girl I talked to was nice but she was definitely interested a lot in one of the other girls (triple rushed here).
Hercules - I was not really good at this one. I should've been more talkative but I wasn't. I'll probably get called back though.
Aladdin - This one went well but I don't remember much.
Tangled - Again, I remember this one went well. I felt like I had good conversations.

I ranked my bottom four.

1. Lilo & Stitch
2. Toy Story
3. Hercules
4. Enchanted

NEXT DAY

Ooooh boy this was rough. I got back:

Lilo & Stitch
Toy Story
Hercules
Enchanted
Aladdin

I'll write about my visits in the next post after I've visited them all. Let's just say there was crying though after I got my list back.

- Nittanyville

Keep your head up! As the lovely ladies of GC always say it only takes one to find your home. I didn't have a full schedule during all of recruitment, and I sometimes felt bad when other girls were debating what chapters to rank in their bottom three and I didn't have any chapters to rank, but I did it and you can too:) Unfortunately being a sophomore sometimes means you won't have as many options as freshman, but you can still find your place.

Also remember that one girl does not represent the whole sorority. I was preffed by a girl who was quite rude and snotty to me, but I remembered all the good things I had seen throughout the week and knew she wasn't the entire chapter. One minor question-are you a legacy to any chapter on campus? If so are they still in contention at this point? I wish you only the best!!

Thanks for the advice! The thing is, I'm not too upset about not having a full schedule. It is a little annoying but I'm most upset about not getting my favorites back. And with the legacy, nope, got cut, but I was sort of expecting it. Still sad though. I really wanted Monster's Inc. too :(

Thanks.

Cheering for you! Try really hard not to get too down. Try to take some deep breaths and to get back to a place where you can have an open mind. I'm so sorry that you were cut by your favorites, but I'm really hoping that something will happen that will make you fall in love with the ones that you have left. Try to relax, continue to try and be yourself. My fingers and toes are crossed for you!!!

My trick whenever I'm in a very awkward conversation: Try to find something to admire about the other person - physical, impression, something they've said, whatever. Everyone you meet has something great about them. Not so you can verbally compliment them on it, but so that you can become more personally interested in them and then more personable and at ease. Most of the time it works, even if all I can come up with is, "Wow, she has beautiful skin."

I couldn't help but notice that the ones you ranked lowest were the ones where you said YOU weren't at your best. However, these women saw something in you, even when you weren't at your best, that they liked enough to invite you back again.

Either you weren't as bad as you thought you were, or they see potential :)

Thank you, I hope it goes better the next few days too! I will try your tip.

I'm grateful for your positive outlook but the reason I wasn't at my best at some of those (glad you read everything haha!) was because I didn't want to be. There are a few chapters at my school that are undesirable (as I'm sure is common at big schools). I was much better today at one of the ones I was intentionally bad at before though.

What I'm reading here is you are not being yourself. You know it and you wish you were being authentic. Rush conversation isn't about saying the exactly right thing or agreeing about all the right things; it's about getting to know each other through snippets of a conversation. Try to ease up on yourself about your conversations, your answers, etc. Just relax and go with the conversations as they happen.

And do remember that rush isn't real life. The chapters that seem awkward and/or unfriendly are going through the steps just like you are, and some are better at it than others. It does NOT reflect the personality of the chapter after rush. Try to give them a break.

Yeah, I think two times I wasn't being myself in that I was thinking too hard
and two times I wasn't being myself because I didn't want to be called back. This round I'm sort of go-with-the-flow because I was just so disappointed. The one or two that I was really really disappointed about I already knew a few sisters that really fit my personality. But I'm trying to let go since I know it's done with.

I am trying to give some of them a break. I'll update y'all soon. I know purposely not trying to get back to a chapter makes me sounds like a, well you know, but I also know I would be unhappy there. I'm not perfect; I would care about being in the perceived worst chapter on campus.

You don't actually know that you would be unhappy there. You THINK you would be unhappy there, but more than likely you would be as happy in "that" chapter just as much as the more popular chapters.

Perhaps you're right. I'll see how I feel in the next few rounds.

SO this.

AND remember how big Greek life is there. With 40+ fraternities, I'm sure even the perceived 'worst' chapters have active social calendars. In a system that big, you can't escape 'tiers'. But really, who cares, because the bottom line is when Homecoming is happening, THON is happening, all the other huge philanthropies are happening, it's just cool to be part of that big and that active a greek system. Is there life outside of greek life at Penn State? Absolutely. But it's a pretty special thing to be part of if you get the chance. Stick with the process and give IT a chance. I hope your next day is a better day!

You have been given a chance by the groups who invited you back. I know it hurt to not get your favorites back, but at this point, you need to give EVERY group a chance if your goal is joining Greek life. You said you felt badly about how you acted at Toy Story, so here's your chance to show them your real self. These groups saw something in you, so make it your mission to find out what makes their sisterhood special. Wearing the letters of ANY Greek organization is an honor. Best of luck to you.

I'm only a couple of months on the other side of all of this (I'm still a pledge) and even though I love my new sorority, I wish that I had done things differently when I went through. I wish I hadn't spent time worrying about who didn't invite me back and why and instead spent more time thinking about what I saw in the groups who were inviting me back.I sort of took all the fun out of it for myself and let the whole thing get really stressful.

I think you have to balance what you know about yourself compared to what other people are telling you. If you are really judgey and it is really important to you to be in a sorority that other people think is "good" then you might just not pledge at all. Just be careful because you could miss out on sooooo much just because of worrying about what other people who you don't really know anyway, think.