Okay, I can't stay quiet in the corner.

So you took life time vows and you want to go back on them (or already have gone back on them by terminating from your GLO.) Now you want another GLO to take you seriously enough to allow you to take vows again?

Sorry but doesn't this sound like stealing a husband (member) from another woman (GLO 1) and then wondering why he (member) cheats on YOU (GLO 2)!

[I can't help it, it's just the divorce attorney in me.]

So there's nothing to do about the "wrong choice." She can let it go or wallow.

I do not think GreekRegret is insisting that she be allowed to join an NPHC. She was simply expressing that she feels she rushed into something without thinking it through and is sorry. Re-read her original post. She turned to the board to see if we can advise her. Plenty of people early on explained that she has no options with regard to joining another group. I don't think we need to beat up on her for asking the question.

Do I think she is misguided in blaming her group for why she didn't do well? Yes. But I think she left her school before she could correct her course, and now it is easy to blame those girls for her bad experience. She is experiencing regret...for the whole shebang: her choice, her behavior, etc.

Thank you for understanding. And I do realize that I am responsible for not asserting myself. I guess I just wish that they hadnt thought encouraging that behavior was ok. But I get that it was ultimately my choice to do what I did.

Buddha taught that we are, none of us, the person we were yesterday.

Please stop beating up on yourself. Please step away from the entire situation. Please give time time. Focus on your academics. Take the focus off the past and others' behavior or what you wish could have happened differently. There are no do-overs in life. Let it go. It's in the rear view mirror.

There are other women who have had a very similar experience to yours. I know of several in my own chapter as well as in other chapters. You're still growing into the person you're going to become, and that is going to change throughout your life. It's going to work itself out, it always does. Good luck to you.

Awwww now I feel all warm and fuzzy. It isn't the vanilla hot tea that I'm drinking.

Good luck to GreekRegret. Just don't show up in a year claiming you joined an NPHC sorority. I will cyber whoop your behind. :p

Thank you! I just believe in "teachable moments." I think this certainly counts. I hope that some positives can come out of this situation.

*sniffle*

DrPhil, I do my very best to be an equal opportunity warm fuzzy giver. Except when I'm annoyed. Which seems to be increasing in frequency and intensity.

And agzg, I have hot cocoa, soft cushy pillows, and cuddly dogs for you. Feel better?

Expecting your big sis or other "older" members in the sorority to be responsible for your education and decisions is a heck of a lot of pressure and high expectations to put on 19-22 year old girls, don't you think? Did you ever consider asking your big sis or other sisters for help or suggestions in how they managed to party and maintain their grades? I'm sorry that you felt like just "another girl to party with" and didn't feel encouraged to study and focus on your academics, but to be honest, you can find that sort of environment anywhere in college. I hope for your sake that you have been able to find a balance and some friends that do make you feel encouraged, but even more so that you have become strong enough and disciplined enough in yourself that you can focus on important things even when someone is trying to sway you.

Your organization is bigger than your chapter. MUCH bigger. Focus on school, meet people and make new friends, find other activities. I would encourage you to get to know some of the wonderful women on this site that are involved alumnae of their organizations and have been for several years. They are great examples of lifelong membership which is what you pursued, were offered and accepted. I'm sorry you regret your commitment, but you still made the commitment and there is still a lot that you could learn (and enjoy) from your sisters and your organization. You could also give a lot back to your sisters in the future by encouraging young women to strive for academic excellence.

My advice is, if you don't feel connected to your ritual, maybe reach out if there's a chapter nearby to be of service?

Hey GreekRegret, I understand your situation as I went through a similar one myself but with a non-panhellenic group. My mother has always wanted me to join a NPHC sorority but for superficial reasons. I at first thought it would be better in the sorority I chose to pledge because she didn't "control" me in college. I joined then realized I didn't fit in as well as I thought I did during my pledge period. I stayed anyway because I assumed I just wasn't giving things a chance. I don't hate being an alumna of the sorority but I do wish I had truly reconsidered my membership when I had the chance. Things have worked out for me to not join a NPHC or NPC sorority but along the way, I've learned a lot about myself and from GC, about sorority membership in general.

I ended up transferring to a new school due to other reasons and am now more focused on bettering myself as a student and woman. I'm joining groups on my new campus and even considering starting a group (once I get stable enough to do so.) I've learned to not regret my choices as they were what I wanted at the time; lessons learned. I hope you are able to find groups on campus that help you realize there are more opportunities to bettering your college experiences than you know! Please reconsider all of the positives in your current situation and look to using them to bettering yourself. :)

Diana: She can't join an NPHC group...they don't allow this. That boat has sailed for her once she was initiated into the NPC group.

Who is the "we" for whom you're speaking?

From your other posts, I see you are not Greek, at least not yet. Perhaps on a question like this, you should defer to those who are Greek, who know the rules of their sororities and conferences and the reasons for those rules.

Wow. Sorry, but you don't get a vote. What you think might be interesting to you, but doesn't change reality. NPHC groups have rules, too.

Interesting that you want AI specifically into an NPC organization. Good luck with that.

Queen Victoria has spoken from beyond.