I don't think anyone has suggested these things. What 33girl is saying is that however great those similar experiences, bonds and life-long friendships are -- and they can be really great -- they are still different in some ways from the experiences, bonds and friendships formed within a sorority or fraternity. Not worse, not better, just different. Not different in every way, but not the same in every way either.

Seems accurate to me.

Junior League isn't an organization that I'd recommend to a full time college student, non traditional aged or not.

The disconnect between the life stage that most full time students are in and the life stage that I've noticed the majority of Junior League members are in is too great, IMO.

Not only that but in some places getting into the Junior League is just as competitive as getting into a sorority.

Being a non-traditional 27-year-old student with children is not the same as being an 18-22 year-old collegiate.

Being older with children is not a consolation prize to being younger, single, and childless, but it is a different place in life.

My point is that we need to stop implying that posters will never, ever, have what "we" have, in terms of bonding and forming life-long friendships, just because "we" have a Greek affiliation and they do not.

It's disrespectful, and IMO, just an erroneous assumption.

Different kinds of organizations = different kinds of experiences.

I just leave it at that.

misscherrypie - Out of curiosity, and possibly a way to direct others in a similar situation that you are in, why did you want to join a sorority over other organizations?

I think the "disconnect between the life stages" is the point that posters have tried to make to PNMs who are in their late 20s.

But they won't. That doesn't mean they won't have something just as good, if not even better, as far as they're concerned. I won't ever have the same bonds that people who went to boarding school together had. That doesn't mean I don't have things in my life just as good or better. Do you understand what I'm saying? MC seemed to get it. Or are you being willfully obtuse?

And OR is so right about the Junior League being just as, if not more competitive than a sorority in some places. That's why I kind of inwardly chortle when people suggest it (i.e. if you thought sorority rush was full of rejectment, you ain't seen NOTHING yet).

No one has implied that.

It's only disrespectful and an erroneous assumption if one assumes that by saying someone else's experiences are different one is saying that they are inferior. Again, no one has said that marvelous bonds and life-long friendships can't be formed without being Greek. I'd hazard a guess that we all know from personal experience that's far from the truth.

But I know that the bonds and friendships I have that arose in different contexts -- childhood, college, camp, fraternity, law school, neighborhood, church, work, etc. -- differ in some noticeable ways because the experiences in which those bonds and friendships were formed, and sometimes even the reasons they were formed, differ. There's nothing at all disrespectful about acknowledging that.

Often, what posters like the OP were looking for is the "College Greek Experience." Nevermind that that experience can have many different forms -- what matters is that the posters have in their mind an image of what that experience is, and most likely the main parts of that image are the things that make GLOs different from other organizations. It may include formals or mixers, or "the house," or candlepasses, or being part of a national organizations whose members consider each other "sisters," or having bigs and littles, or ritual and secret meanings of words and symbols, or, yes, even wearing letters and being able to say "I am an ΑΒΓ." When these posters realize that the experience they wanted isn't going to happen for them, the loss of what they hoped to experience is what they're mourning.

Of course there are many other ways in which they can form bonds and friendships just as strong (or stronger) as can be found in GLOs. But what seems disrespectful to me is ignore the loss these posters are feeling. As 33girl says, often those feelings need to be resolved before one is ready to move on to other possibilities. Otherwise, one risks imposing the expectations of the "College Greek Experience" on other great organizations that not only can't meet those expectations but shouldn't be expected to. More disappointment is often the result.

33girl and MC are absolutely right. Trying slight of hand tricks to replace collegiate Greek life with Junior League or other service organizations when a PNM has been dreaming about the traditional social sorority experience is just a set up for more disappointment. Let kallyssasmommy come to terms with the idea that she's not going to have the traditional college experience before pushing her to other organizations. She won't be a good member for them until she is there for the right reasons with reasonable expectations.

To the OP, making a new organization isn't so easy as advertising that you are there. The organizations that are here today were founded by groups of women. If you can find a group of women of like mind, you might have a chance, but honestly, this ship has sailed for you...and that's okay. You can have a fulfilling collegiate experience without joining an NPC group.

Huh?? For the past month, you've been mooning and complaining that the collegiate Greeks didn't want you, and two days later, you've suddenly "seen the light"????

OR doesn't have any experience with Junior League here. She is way too young to be sponsored.

33girl, are you speaking from an experience of being rejected from Junior League, or just repeating what you have heard? If you are just repeating what you have heard, then you are just perpetuating Junior League Tent Talk. :rolleyes:

Chill folks -- I used Junior League as an example, as I noted, of a group and opportunity to bond with and form friendships with women beyond college. I'm not suggesting that everyone rush out to locate sponsors. Though I doubt that Junior Leagues everywhere are as snobby as reputed to be or as depicted in movies (sound familiar?) -- but I can only respond from my own experience.

Actually taking the time to consider how I and my friends felt at eighteen (because like all of us, I've been there) when older women were interested in spending time with us and comparing that how (in all likelihood) others felt when I went through recruitment a few months ago can serve as a major kick in the backside. Hindsight is always 20/20. :)

I was invited to join my hometown Junior League as a provisional member when I was 21, after a friend of my Mother's indicated to the group that I might be a very nice potential member. Attended several events in member's homes, chatted, learned about and gained a healthy respect for the organization. I declined the invitation, because in my heart of hearts, I knew that wasn't the right fit for me at the time. I also would have been the youngest by about seven years if I'd decided to join, and that prospect felt a bit strange.

No harm, no foul.

I agree with much of what you wrote, but I don't feel that anyone is ignoring the loss some of these posters are feeling.

Luckily, a few days ago, 33girl advised MissCherryPie, to seek therapy and join a non-traditional student's group asap. So it seems these feelings have been duly acknowledged -- even accompanied by a suggestion of what to do next -- ASAP, in fact.

Not delivered in an especially sensitive fashion, but I don’t disagree with the suggestion.

We can split hairs all we wish on similarities/differences of relationships formed in this or that organization. Two girls in the same chapter will not even have the same experience. Like every other experience in life, it is what you make of it.

From a close personal friend's experience after she was already a member of Junior League in one city in the north, when she moved back south, she was not made to feel welcome. Yeah, it depends on the JL.