So if I get mad because my daughter misses curfew while out with her friends, and I go out with a butcher knife and slash her tires out of anger and spite, that's not threatening on some level? Sorry, I am afraid of someone who doesn't have control of their anger that way.

He even says on his Facebook that he did it an hour after reading the post and was angry at the time.

I don't know that I'd go so far as saying it was abuse, but it was dysfunctional. I will also say that emotional abuse can be extremely damaging.

What is perceived as threatening is often contextual (with some concrete exceptions). As her parent, only you (and she) would know how threatened she would feel by that. Some kids can be yelled at and go to pieces--I think you said a stern look was all it took to make hypoallergenic burst into tears when she was little. Others aren't scared by anything short of physical harm. It sounds like unconventional punishments are normal in this family so we don't know how she'd react to this. All we know is that her father says she was livid, then they talked about it, and now she cracks jokes at the people who suggest she's being abused. Perhaps you might be afraid of a man who would shoot a laptop but it doesn't sound like she is.

As far as his only waiting an hour--in that hour, he consulted with his wife and the girl's mother so he's not completely impulsive. Very little has been said about the two of them agreeing he should do it or the mother asking that he put a bullet in the computer for her (that was in the video). He did admit that this is not how he normally parents and was not one of his best decisions on how to handle a punishment. The way I see it, this was kinda dumb and not the best choice. But he had already tried grounding her (a reasonable punishment) and that didn't get through to her. So he handled the problem her way to show her how it feels to be on the other end. Mission accomplished. How much damage he caused in the process, we won't know but it doesn't sound like a lot based on the reactions of the police, CPS, and Hannah.