Bwahahaha. I HOPE you are joking. If not, you are a bigger idiot than I give you credit for. I'm not even going to touch what white women will do since we all know how you like to lump every woman of a race in one bucket.

What's wrong with that? I'd rather use a sandwich bag than nothing at all.

Misogynistic Troll is Misogynistic. Great "Nice Guy(TM)" comment though.

Munchkin03 likes this.

The "gay lifestyle" is as lame as the "black community."

Those are not analogous. "Gay lifestyle" implies that homosexuality is merely a conscious way to live your life. People tend not to say "heterosexual lifestyle" because they consider heterosexuality to be so innate and embedded in them that it isn't always a conscious choice.

ETA: Race is learned because we are not born as (insert race, ethnicity, culture). Although race becomes deeply embedded and less conscious through socialization, it still relies on conscious and subconscious reinforcement. That isn't the same thing as sexual orientation which, in its true form, is considered by many to not be learned, not be mostly a result of socialization, not be a choice of actions, and therefore not be about a lifestyle.

There is nothing lame about those who believe in the existence of the "Black community." It does not imply that every Black or African Diasporic person believes the same things or lives the exact same lifestyle. There are similarities even when there are differences. I am a proud member of the Black community which encompasses people of the African Diaspora across physical communities, across a diversity of experiences, and across a diversity of perspectives.

You already know that the "Black community" isn't the only "community" that has historic and present-day significance. "LGBT Community," "Gay Community," "Italian-American Community," are among the communities that are considered to exist by many people. Nothing lame about that.

/long post alert

^^^Beat me to it.

You caught me before my edit. :(

I'll catch your edit give me a moment.

I was reading some of the comments about parents being involved. I disagree, because your parents are your covering until you get married. It's just that they have better insight than you have (if you have parents who care about you). I mean, this might not always be to your liking, but it is always for your own good. This is true no matter what you think of them (provided that you have good parents). Your parents love you, they know you, and they want the best for you. Honestly, when it comes to choosing a mate, it's not brain surgery to figure out why their counsel in this area is invaluable. First of all, they are not in love with your significant other, so they can see him objectively. Second, they know and love you, so they are sensitive to what your needs are -what will work for you, and what will hinder you. So, when your parents speak on the matter of a mate, you need to listen to them instead of being dumb and relying on your own decisions.

I totally agree with PB. It's just that walking in friendship and learning about one another with no intimacy involved affords you the opportunity to learn about the character of a guy without having to make any snap decisions. It's just that once you've walked together for a while and realize that you share a lot on common, you create a bond, and then you'll naturally enter into courtship with the intention of solidifying a commitment. This is why I don't make impulsive decisions on whether a guy is for me upon our initial meeting. Chemistry isn't enough.

You do realize that not all parents have the best intentions in terms of their children's mates, right? Just look at the in-law venting thread. Do you think that the husbands of those GC women were "being dumb and relying on their [own] decisions?"

I've seen plenty of controlling fathers try to derail their daughters' relationships so they could be the only man in their lives. I've seen plenty of manipulative women do the same thing. People disown their children for whom they choose to love--for reasons as simple as race, religion, or socioeconomic factors. To say that they should just listen to whatever Mommy and Daddy tells them is naive, to say the least.

I said depending on what kind of parents you have. I'm speaking of wise parents. Good parents aren't controlling.

That's also a really general, and pretty naive, statement.

Parents who have been perfectly fine in raising upstanding citizens can go buckwild once it's evident that their daughter's about to marry some guy, go off to college, or exert their independence in some other way. I've seen it happen so many times. Luckily, they have been good parents in every other aspect of their child's lives, so their kids know how to make the right decisions.

Not really. I've seen the opposite too many times. If you prefer to follow your own decisions, then okay. I've always made the decision to heed good advice, and most of it came from my parents, my friends, and my pastor. It seems to work for me. Do what works for you.:)

I agree with the last part of your post, though.

I had great, wise parents who cared about me and my siblings deeply, and a primary way they showed this was by raising to us make our own decisions. I certainly never considered them as "covering" me until I got married (at age 27). What you describe was not my experience, nor would I want it to have been, nor do I want it to be my experience with my children.

I see what you're trying to say, but I frankly I think it's useless advice, especially on the internet. If this is how it is for you and your parents, great. But so much of what you assume about parents and their relationship with their children can vary widely, even among "good" and "wise" parents.

What is "covering?"