Sorry for being idyllic...

Guess I was born in the wrong era, because I'm of the school of thought that says you should be able to give your husband something special...somthing that you've given no one else. And if you've already moved in with (whether it means buying or leasing), had sex, started a family, or etc. then why even get married? I mean, just for the wedding? REALLY? If that's the case, then I'd advise against it, because you'll certainly lose out on the marriage penalty tax thing...

Maybe we just need to re-evaluate the reason for marrige.

I use the word "partner" for things like that.

Posts only want one thing, and it sure as hell ain't marriage.

You made it sound like all there was to marriage was moving in together, and once you've done that with someone, the magic is over.

It's fine if you think moving in shouldn't happen before marriage, but implying that it's pointless to get married if you do is kind of ridiculous.

I always used "significant other" or "partner." Here's why:

1) I think post-college people are too old and too accomplished (or on their way) to have boyfriends and girlfriends. Or, at least to use that terminology in professional settings. It's about as silly as saying "my man" around people who aren't family, friends, or personal acquaintances.

2) Using "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" is very gendered when it tends to be unnecessary.

3) Using "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" is very sexual orientationed when it tends to be unnecessary.

Depending on the context and what you are saying, some people will wonder the gender of the "significant other" (or "life partner") and whether you are married. But, unless they are being nosey as hell, those details tend not to matter for a simple comment like "I have to consider where my significant other can do his residency." Using "his" would calm the gender and sexual orientation curiosities of some people. It still doesn't divulge the actual status of the relationship except that he's significant enough to be your significant other.

I may be wrong but I seriously doubt someone named "GreekGirley" was born in a different era than the rest of us.

Well, they might not want it NOW.. but one day.. they'll come around..

But they won't subscribe to the thread if they just click the thread.

Of course not. I even said that in my situation, I was the one who didn't want the relationship to go any further. I've just seen a lot of cohabiting relationships implode lately and the majority of the cases were like I mentioned above.

I had a MAJOR crush on Rob Lowe when that movie came out (yes, do the math). It wasn't until I was older that I actually watched it. :o

http://officialbirthdayblog.com/wp-c...3/rob-lowe.jpg

Rob Lowe is crushable.

I was 5!

I was ignoring that and focusing on Rob Lowe.

So, you get married, have kids, spouse dies and there's no point in a second marriage because you've already given "everything" to someone else?

The "point" of marriage is commitment -- mutual, unreserved and loving commitment.

And just to make sure I'm clear, I'm not saying that a strong, mutual, unreserved and loving commitment is only found in marriage. It can certainly be found in couples that choose, for whatever reason, not to get married (or are not able to marry). Nor am I suggesting that all marriages live up to the ideal or that divorce isn't sometimes the best option.

But if you're talking about the "point" of marriage, it's not sharing something with that special someone that you've never shared with anyone else. Not at all. It's commitment. Pretty much everything else is icing.

LOL. I think I had pretty good taste for a kindergartener.

Idyllic? Marrige? Aaaah my eyes they bleed.

WOW, what a coincidence...

I just noticed that my ex posted as his Facebook status earlier today: "Officially has an apt with his beautiful girlfriend!!!"

He just graduated from college. She's going to be a junior next year. The only difference is that they've only been together for 5 months.

Yea...