Giving a legacy an invite to round 2 sounds is a common policy among many NPCs. However, chapters with lots of legacies going through recruitment who have to make steep cuts after round 1 are probably given a pass on it. I imagine most other chapters would still adhere to that policy if they don't have many legacies going through and/or they don't have to make steep cuts after round 1.

Well, it's easy to discuss how a mom ought to handle the discussion of legacies with her daughter. Most of the Greek moms I know, though, haven't been deeply involved in Greek life since college so they don't know about the current situation of RFM/huge legacy numbers. I live in a big town but until 2005, the closest national Greek system was an hour away so hardly any local Greeks--and there are a lot here-- were physically involved in a Greek system. Many paid their dues and/or sent money to their chapters but it was (is) a hassle getting to the nearest chapter or alum group (which might be one that focuses on socialization and doesn't discuss recruitment unless friends or relatives are rushing). They got their magazines but now a lot of them are published online so people don't bother to read them. Also, they've spent the last several years raising kids and working and Greek life wasn't really on their radar.

Therefore, even though the Greek Life Office usually sends out a pamphlet to parents about the current situation re: legacies, it doesn't really hit home unless the legacy group cuts the daughter. Wonderful women who assumed their groups would pledge their daughters have been blindsided because back in the day, sororities found a way to pledge their good legacies. Often, only the shadier ones were released.

It is definitely important to educate our alumnae.

Having said that, however, the women who would benefit most from such education are exactly those women who would be least likely to be receptive to such education. (Generalizing here, obviously.) They're the women who aren't very active in alumnae groups; the ones who don't communicate regularly with current collegians; the ones who never crack open their orgs' magazines; etc... They're also the ones who expect their daughters to be given the royal treatment, and are the ones who are most upset when their daughters are cut form their legacy houses.

So yes, we absolutely need to educate. It probably won't reach those alumnae who need it most, though. (And, for some reason, I believe the mom discussed in the OP would fall into this category.)

Speaking from my experience, our issues were almost always with Helga VonHeli, the alumna who has essentially forgotten she's a Pi Pi Pi and completely abandoned every alumna responsibility until we cut her pretty perfect princess.

Not only that, I'd bet that some of these moms were the ones who (as collegians) bitched the loudest about "have-to-take" double legacies and treated them like crap. It's amazing how it's different when it has to do with you or someone you love.

I understand that, Carnation, but you should also know that this causes a lot of heartache for those daughters because of these uninformed mothers. Times have changed, and we need to find a way to get this information to these alumnae so that their daughters don't suffer the consequences.

True. And I'd like to see a shift in those schools with 3 billion legacies (exaggerate? Me?) towards preferring legacies of active alumnae.

Exactly. It was a lot easier to get into a lot of competitive colleges back in the day too. Haven't we heard about HOPE on this board a million billion times and how it's made it so much harder to get into UGA?

If parents can get their heads out of their asses and figure that out, they can certainly do the same with sorority membership. Especially since many of them seem to be treating it as a commodity, a thing their daughters need to check off to prove they were "raised right" rather than lifetime sisterhood.

Drolefille - when you were gone we had a thread about "weighting" legacies - for example, the longtime alum chapter president's daughter gets more of a preference than random alum's daughter. I don't think it's fair or desirable, for many reasons. There are LOTS of reasons people aren't involved as alums -one of the most basic ones being there might not be an alum chapter near them. Also, something like that just smacks a little too much of bartering - if I give $1000 to the Foundation, my daughter is higher up on the bid list - for my taste.

I get that and I wouldn't want anything that detailed. More like, has donated some amount to the foundation, active in an alum chapter or other volunteer work with the sorority, etc. It shouldn't be well Suzie's mom donated 3k and Penny's mom only donated 1k.

Nor should it guarantee a bid, but it's a way to show that mom, aunt, grandma, whatever has actually been engaged with the sorority over the past 20 years. If it existed (or exists) I'd really just want there to be "alumna" and "active alumna" and have some really basic level of support that equals "active." And I say that as someone who doesn't meet that status now due to my situation/location/etc.

But eh, don't want to rehash that if it's been done, I'll go thread hunting later.

I agree! And they've changed very quickly--we've seen the big changes since maybe 2000?--but I don't know how on earth we can reach the masses.

I know. It's a big problem. I feel sorry for the girls who go in with a false sense of security.

I want my daughter to be an Alpha Gam. I really really want my daughter to be an Alpha Gam. She still likes me enough, at 16, to think it would be cool to share that. Most of the schools she is seriously interested in don't have Alpha Gam chapters. I certainly won't dissuade her from her Columbia dream just because they don't have an Alpha Gam chapter. I have told her I'll pay her sorority dues if she chooses to join one no matter what school or chapter it is. All that said, if she does end up at Michigan (or another school with an AGD chapter) I'm going to be crushed if she doesn't go AGD. However, I will still support her and cry privately :) Two years!

In fact, in two years, our Convention is in St. Louis and she really loves St. Louis. She has asked me if she can come and sight see and stuff. There are a few Alpha Gam events at Convention that welcome guests and if she is going to a school with an Alpha Gam chapter, she just might accompany me. I told her we'll see. I think she wants to bring a friend too. Could be interesting.

I'm really curious why the mom has to be involved at all? This is an adult going to college. The mom being asked shouldn't even be on anyone's radar. They should be asking the PNM if they'd like a rec written for them!

I guess since Mom is paying for the dues, the girl feels like Mom is in control. It's kind of like brides feeling like Mom gets to make decisions about the wedding when her parents are paying for the big day.

LOL, Dee, I hear you. May both us have daughters in our sorority someday!