Psssst....this thread is a year old.

Although it could end up being useful to MikeEllis, so whatever.

Thanks Tay...I needed a new signature and found one here. :)

I kinda wonder how this turned out.

Me, too. FWIW, I don't think sexuality has any place in recruitment. We tell PNMs and members not to talk about the 3 B's: booze, boys, or the bible. I think that talking about "boys" should mean talking about any aspect of your relationships.

I do have a problem with members being biased against a PNM for her sexual orientation, but I also think wearing your sexual orientation on your sleeve during a first impression meeting such as sorority recruitment is inappropriate.

I get what you're trying to say, but how else would a PNM determine if it's going to be a problem for a chapter?

There's got to be a happy medium in there somewhere. I don't think a BIG deal should be made about it, but I also don't think that a PNM should have to worry about the right time to "come out" to her sisters (and then find out they're NOT ok with it). Obviously not something to discuss the first day of rush, but I also wouldn't save it until Prefs, unless it's a school that Prefs three chapters. A PNM wouldn't want to get down to 1 chapter on Pref night and then find out that it's going to be a problem.

Exactly.

And "boys" as a topic to be avoided in rush conversations and a person's sexuality are two VASTLY different things. We tell girls not to talk about boys, let's call a spade a spade, because they might have banged the wrong person. Can you hide forever that you slept with the sorority president's boyfriend the summer before you pledged? Yes. Can you hide forever that you're a lesbian? For many people, no, unless you want to be miserable. If you want to keep that hidden from your sisters forever, I guess you can do it, but you'll probably also be keeping many of your relationships on a very shallow level.

One way for this to come up is by mentioning activities-a PNM could say she is involved with an LGBT group on campus, and this is a good way to bring up sexuality and gauge actives' reactions without having to say "So I'm gay, is that a problem?"

I am a very open and accepting person (our chapter has several gay women, even one pair who is dating) but I would be a little put off if a PNM just brought up her sexuality out of the blue. Another tactic that could work is to talk to a sister you know- either one you have known or a woman you feel you've built a relationship with during rush- and confide in her. Say "I know this is a little awkward, but I really want to make sure XYZ would be ok with taking a member who is gay..."

Just my 2 cents on a really old thread :) but maybe it'll help someone in the future

Excellent idea. If the chapter member gives you a look like this

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_R2fpXGOBnO...adyShocked.png

you should probably not count on joining that sorority.

If there isn't an LGBT group on campus, you can work into the conversation somehow that you are a big fan of the It Gets Better Project or something similar. Again, if the member's eyebrows shoot up to the heavens, you should probably move on.

I just want to go ahead and agree that this is a very good way to handle it.

This is a question simply out of curiosity- did they rush together as a couple or did they start dating after both were already in?

Me too because my cousin's daughter pledged Kappa at UT last fall.

It is annoying that bringing up one's sexuality out of the blue only applies to non-heterosexuals. If I mention a boyfriend, no one will think twice. If I mention a girlfriend, some would be upset that I was 'flaunting' or 'wearing my sexuality on my sleeve.' Both are bringing up one's sexuality after all.

Few but the incredibly awkward, or very fed up would just walk in to recruitment and say "I am a lesbian/bisexual/queer/gay/etc." And as coming out of the closet is an ongoing process, not a once in a lifetime thing, I don't think there's anything wrong with not coming out during recruitment. The idea that they might not be welcome isn't something that people need to be told by college, and it's their call. Anyone who would be upset over being 'lied to' is kind of missing the point IMO.

Just throwing this out there: We're banned from the 4 B's: Booze (partying), Boys (grey area), Bible (religion), Barack (politics).

We have a 5th B: Bank (money)