Wear a bra as a hat.

When you go to the state fair, be sure to ask for extra powdered sugar on your fried Twinkies. They just go down easier, and the cold Diet Coke cancels the additional calories right out.

Use a maxipad as a nametag. No, it's not awkward.

The next time you see the oldest person you know, say: "Wow, it's great to see you again! I thought for sure you'd be dead by now!"

It's okay to put your personal information on your Facebook or MySpace page. The internet's so big, nobody'll ever find that stuff anyway.

You should always bring Clorox wipes with you to the office. You never know when You'll need them to wipe down the pole after the girl before you. And neither of you should get this random Management guy's name before you strip for your raise. Its a recession, stripping for raises is the norm.

Don't forget your phone number. How else will your future husband call you? Because he's going to fall madly in love with you after seeing your half-naked profile pic and seeing you're looking for Random Play.

ETA: Oooooh Random Play's not an option anymore. Somebody finally got the hint.

This is why you should be Geo-tagging ALL of your tweets. If you tweet and your followers and the rest of the world that has internet access dont know your exact location with Long and Lat. coordinates how will they be able to actually follow you? DUH!

Ladies, wipe back to front. You'll reduce infections. I promise.

The best way to get into any organization on campus is to have a reputation!

Ladies, sleep with as many fraternity men as you can. This way, you'll definitely be the talk of campus. Just watch how many looks you'll get when you do your walks of shame every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday! Make an effort to walk in front of sorority row as well. [Add pink sequined panty hose when you go out if at an SEC school.]

Gentlemen, throw gentlemanly behavior out the window! If you want to truly be a frat boy, you have to be as frat-tastic as possible. Be sure to use bro and brah all the time during recruitment. Also, since you have little time to meet all of the bromies, you can shorten the word "fraternity" down to "frat." Every second counts. When as parties, be sure to be the most obnoxiously drunk guy at the party. If you can completely let yourself go and have a great time at a frat party, it really says a lot to the bro-hood.

When you're late to class, be really loud and obnoxious (maybe even talk on your phone) when you come in. It lets the professor know that the most important student has arrived and class can continue as scheduled.

10 to 1 that eventually someone picks a fight in this thread because they think that someone's bad advice is actually good advice.



Also, grammar and spelling don't count here. In fact, people here prefer toggle case and text-speak.:cool:

Its perfectly fine to stick your hand down the disposal, dont worry bout it. Its also fine to use a knife to pry your toast out of the toaster, thats a myth.:D