Suppose for a minute that someone posted this message: “ Hi, I’m Amberglo, and I’ve just had the most amazing rush, but I have so many conflicting feelings and maybe you can help me. My campus has four sororities, and my favorites were Eyeliner and Mascara, they were confident and pretty, the more desireable and attractive ones . I am attractive and I felt I really fit in with these, we seemed to really connect! I was so happy thinking about being a member! But I got cut by both, and had only lipgloss and blush, the small, friendly, plain girl ones , and I chose lipgloss, and now I have glad feelings ( I’m in a sorority, they’re really nice) and kind-of-embarrassed ones (I still care what others think). Sometimes I hear the Eyeliner chants and I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to be one of them. What can I do to get over this?
I would tell her that her feelings are normal, but will fade.
I would tell her that sorority life can make her a better person, and it’s worth being a member of any of those four.
I would tell her that on other campuses, the lipglosses are great, and other girls on that other campus have wished they were a lipgloss in the same way she kind of wishes she were an Eyeliner..
That in time, she’ll have an “ah HAH!” moment when she really starts to appreciate the reason that friendship is valued over looking perfect, and be sooo glad she chose the one she did. I would tell her to concentrate on getting good grades, and on presenting herself and her sorority well on campus.
And in two or three short years, she’ll be out of college and meeting alumnae from other chapters across the country who are pretty, smart, and accomplished, just like her.

It's normal to have friends in other chapters. I wouldn't worry about it. You'll also get a boost when the juniors in your chapter come back from their study-abroad experiences.

ggirl, I'm going to tell you a story about two young ladies I know (I wrote a recruitment story on one of them a couple of years ago, and a followup).

Both of these girls are DROP DEAD GORGEOUS, like the kind that when they walk in a room, eyes follow them in admiration, lust and jealousy - get the picture?

To top it off, they are both sweet as can be and have amazing personalities, had resumes to back up the looks, basically - total packages.

Girl 1 goes to a small southern private college with an uber competitive recruitment - she has the ultimate rush, never getting dropped, holding all the cards in her hand - she pledges the "Hot Girl" house.

Girl 2 goes to big public uni with uber competitive recruitment - she has the complete opposite rush experience. She is dropped by all the "big houses" and is left to decide among the smaller, less "hot girl" houses.

Girl 1 ends up miserable! Her pledge class is full of a bunch of stuck up snobs. Cliques form, and because she didn't go to the right summer camp, she's not in the clique - no lie... She ends up transferring and affiliating with her sorority at her new campus. She is now happy as a clam.

Girl 2 ends up getting really involved in her new house. She LOVES her new sisters!! She ends up as the rush chair this year, pulling in some fabulous pledges! The house is totally where she was meant to be, she has been able to truly be a part of something great!

Moral to the story - don't judge a book by its cover. The shiny glossy cover looked great to girl 1, but the content inside ended up being horrible. The plain cover didn't wow girl 2, but the content ended up being exactly what she needed, and she became able to be a part of the story.

Give your house a chance. You said these girls made you feel comfortable and at home - I can tell you that THIS is the most important part of being in a sorority.

I really like the way you wrote this and I hope a lot of PNMs and new members are able to read this.

thank you guys. i am not concerned anymore with mascara an lipgloss. they didn't want me. i'm not bitter but i would not fit in with those sororities if they didn't see the great things about me to invite me back. i'm concerned with blush and eyeliner because it was my decision to pick eyeliner. i saw what i saw at the time but people do make mistakes and this i believe was one of them

So... you gonna tell us who eyeliner is? I (and probably others following the story) want to be able to congratulate you!

But no pressure, of course.

i want to tell you guys! i just don't want to say it amidst all this horrible context

and ksu that could happen, but it also could not who knows

I think you are my new best friend...

Even if you had the same favorite sorority from day one, got the whole way thru rush with this group still your favorite, and got a bid to them, you might STILL be feeling some of the same feelings. There are lots of threads on here saying just that.

I was kind of worried that I should have put my own personal "blush" down first - and actions of one of the blush members on bid day made me believe I WOULD have been bid there. But I went with eyeliner. Halfway through pledge time, I was talking to a blush pledge who also lived on my hall. She liked her sisters, but was really uncomfortable with the fact that they were making her drink as much as they were, and didn't like that they were criticizing her for planning to get an apartment with a mascara the next semester. That was when I was sure I had made the right choice.

Like I said before, there was SOMETHING in your gut that made you pick eyeliner. You might not be able to see it now but you will soon.

thanks guys :) i start pledging tonight (goes to find all white outfit) so we'll see how it goes. like i said i will def give it a chance

and ksu yes it definitely does matter more because it's me and i'm the most important person in my life haha (i'm not a mom so i think that's an ok statement) p.s. remember when i sent you a bunch of ideas for pref dresses? of course i went out the day before and bought a new one haha

EDIT: and maybe even awhile from now if i give little updates, people can read this thread too and see the progression who knows. one girl from my pledge class already dropped but i texted her to see if she still wanted to hang and we have plans thurs!

Right. Some of my very best friends are members of other chapters, and I know that although I'm still happy years later with the decision I made to join my own organization, there's something in each one (on my campus - so I'm talking more about the people) that resonates with me and makes me comfortable around that chapter. It's more than fine to have friends in other chapters.

Also, you're not going to be 100% comfortable with 100% of the actives at any chapter. Just hopefully you're most comfortable as a whole with your own.

It's totally cool to be friends with other greeks, even other greek women. If people have a problem with that, too bad. :)

i just got back from the pledging ceremony and AT THE MOMENT am 100% pumped!!