Yeah, this is a pretty strong case of not letting your left hand know what your right hand is doing, or however that saying goes. No one should know what's going on until it happens--too many people gossip and it's just not cool.

HR is not your friend. That goes for everyone and in every company (sorry to anyone who works in HR!). While they are there somewhat to help the employee, their main purpose is to protect the employer from any potential employment claims. At my one of my previous jobs, HR fired a guy because he was harassing one of my co-workers. Do you think HR did this out of the kindness of their hearts and because they didn't want my co-worker to feel awkward everyday? Nope. I'm sure they felt bad for her but the main reason they fired the guy was to cover the company's ass.

Contact an attorney. An attorney will be able to guide you through the HR minefield. An attorney is there to give you advice on how to professionally, ethically and legally handle your situation.