commenting so i can find it again...

So what happened? I gotta know!

Congrats to your cousin and Delta Zeta! Please come back and finish your story soon I'm dying to know where you ended up!

So I pull on a tank top, a bit of make-up, and a pair of jeans. I was all ready- just going in a tank so I could put my bid day shirt on over it without any issues.

I head over to our meeting place- where I discover everyone already there and lined up. I’m so embarrassed and freaked out- why was I late? Turns out, the time had changed, and I managed to miss the announcement. So I was running 30 minutes late. I was mortified- but bid envelopes hadn’t been handed out yet, so I was okay. Embarrassed, but okay.

After the revealing of our recruitment counselors’ affiliation (my RA was an Elphaba, it turned out!), it was time to hand out the envelopes. We had to place them at our feet and not touch them, so everyone would open them at the same time. It was sitting there, just taunting me as they tortured us with the wait.

Finally, the call came- open your envelopes!

The first thing I noticed were the colors on the crest on the front. They were not the proper colors! I open it…

“The Alpha Kappa* chapter of Nessarose invites you…”

I read it over. I flipped to the front- yep, I didn’t misread it. I look over at Darcy- she got a bid to Elphaba. At that moment, I just felt like sobbing. This was NOT supposed to happen. I was supposed to be an Elphaba- didn’t the girl the night before practically guarantee it? Putting on my best “fake happy” smile, I slowly walk over to our group- there’s very little yelling and screaming going on here, unlike the other groups. I’m watching Darcy, Amanda, and Betty jumping up and down and hugging with their new girls, and I just feel miserable. I put on our shirt. Our now-affiliated again recruitment counselors are trying to pump us up, but it’s not working.

We’re the first group to run out to our new chapters on the lawn. More people start getting excited here, but I just feel alone and separate. I don’t really know anyone, and I don’t see the people I talked to during recruitment. We walk over to our house, where I still feel like crap.

Eventually, I escaped the festivities for a minute and went to the bathroom, where I cried quietly. I was having some fun, but I was hurting so much inside. The girls were nice, but it was really hard for me.

I get into a convo with another girl from our pledge class, and we talk in veiled terms about our unhappiness. We were both shocked.

The house had a sleepover that night, but I chose not to stay (I made up an excuse about dance leveling the next day, and needing a good night’s sleep). Instead, I ran to Darcy’s room, where Betty and Darcy were. I talked to them- they really did calm me down. One of the clearest memories of that day is Betty telling me “You’re still like my sister, no matter if we share the same letters.” That meant a lot to me.

I cried really hard in my room. I was so upset… it was hard. But I’ve always been a strong believer in “Whatever is meant to be, will be, in the long run.” So I decided that this meant one of two things. 1) This is really where I’m meant to be, and I haven’t realized it yet. Or 2) I’m not meant to be in Greek life at all. So I decided to stick with it for the next few weeks.

I’ll update you with the outcome of those few weeks in a day or two.


*Not the real chapter name.

:eek: I'm shocked! I was so expecting Elphaba.

Remember what you said about Nessarose! This doesn't sound like a group you should be ashamed to join. I know you are really disappointed, but get Elphaba out of your head. You can't be a member of Elphaba, so don't even think about them. Give Nessarose a chance. If Elphaba didn't exist, I bet you'd be begging to join Nessarose.

I've been lurking for some time but this thread prompted me to register and share some advice from someone who was not completely happy with his new member period.

The fraternity I joined was my first choice, I loved the brothers and everything about it and I really felt that I had found my home. Almost immediately after accepting my bid I realized that I did not really fit in with my pledge class and I wasn't sure how the brothers I thought I fit in so well with could choose people who were so unlike me. I really began to question whether or not I belonged. Now I know that this is nothing like your story but I would urge you to continue on with your new member period. The process is really a journey and brotherhood/sisterhood is built along the way. After being around for a while I started to love my pledge class and they are now some of my best friends and brothers. If you've ever read Harry Potter (I can't believe I'm using this reference) you know when Harry and Ron save Hermione from the troll and it says something like 'there are some things like fighting a mountain troll that you can't come out of not being best friends.' That's how it was for me and I hope you're time as a new member helps you to learn to love your sisterhood. Remember though, its a two way street and as long as you put in the effort to get to know people and have fun I think it can end up being a wonderful experience for you. My second thoughts about my fraternity are completely gone and turned around into a deep love for my brothers.

I wish you the best of luck. If you decide that its not for you then at least you tried, and no one will think any less of you for your decision.

Folks, I don't think this story is live...

Nope, we are NOT live. All of the following events occurred in the Fall of 08.

Wow my bad...and I tried so hard to avoid "newbie" mistakes...

It's still good advice to anyone. So it's fine. :)

Those first few weeks, I attended everything I could. I knew there was now way I could figure out if this was right for me if I didn’t try it.

The first meeting was awkward- I didn’t like that we “had” to wear letters on Monday and nice clothes on Thursday. This was a display of pride, which I hadn’t quite gotten yet. But I did- I figured it was important.

I figured out that three of my pledge class sisters were in one of my classes, and another initiated sister was in another class. I also met a few more during the callbacks for the theatre shows. As I got to know these girls, I realized that they were really great. I particularly loved the initiated girl I knew- we shared the same sense of humor.

It was great to find signs outside my door right before going to my first day of classes, and in the weeks afterward from initiated sisters. It made me smile so much. One sister invited me to another sister’s birthday party, and I got to know her better- she was really terrific.

At some point, I met this insane girl who was the same major as me. She was nuts (in a good way!), but I really clicked with her. This was a girl that I could call my sister, and I knew that. We grew to be great friends.

The final straw was the chapter retreat. I had started getting a bit homesick about a month into school (I don’t get to go home very often), and I was kind of mopey the day of our chapter retreat. I was talking to one of the girls I met during recruitment, and she was saying it happened to everyone and just really comforting me. That’s when it hit me- I was staying.

The insane girl became my big sister, and the initiated girl in my classes became my twin. Now, I couldn’t be more excited about my sorority. I’m SO glad that I stuck around. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have the amazing sisters that I do have.

Our chapter is currently struggling- my recruitment was an example of that. However, we elected our new officers a month ago, and we (yes, I’m an officer now!) have a great president and executive board who will take our chapter up and above. I’m confident that we will turn it around during my time in my house.

There are days when I see Betty and Amanda (I rarely see Darcy these days) and I wish I could call them my sisters. And their group overall is wonderful. I do have my “What ifs” fairly often. But I’m confident in one thing- it worked out like it was supposed to.

Basically, I want any PNM who reads this to know this:

Even if you get your second choice, it is NOT the end of the world. Stick it out for a few weeks- if it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t happen. But you won’t know until you try.

I’m hesitant to reveal all the chapters on my campus, since there’s a small number. If you’d really like to know, PM me.

But I will reveal my affiliation (and the origin of my username!):










































“Smile awhile, and as the years go by,






































stronger grows our love for Alpha Chi!”

Congrats to you and Alpha Chi Omega

i loved your story. thank you for sharing it with us!

great story!!! thanks for sharing!