Hey Fella,

I feel like I am getting the full court press. I might be flattered, except that I have seen how you roll and I am not sure that I like it.
Also, I can't help but wonder if this sudden interest is because you know about it, and you two don't like each other. I wouldn't put it past you to have ulterior motives.

Signed,

Not the NKOTB

Dear Pops' "Girlfriend",

Yeah, I heard from your own nephew (who can't stand you either) that you had something to say about me and his Kappa League brothers sending an arrangement to the funeral home of your brother-in-law (his grandfather). Look, you better be real glad I am 1. Saved, 2. Educated, and 3. in another state, because otherwise I would've talked so bad to you!

So quit being a hater and get over it. It is not because of me and my siblings that my pops hasn't married you! Hell, we are all grown and gone! My BABY sister is 20, so none of us have anything to do with that. Face it, "if he liked it, then he woulda put a ring on it!"

Now, as the oldest of my siblings, I have kept my two sisters from beaten that @ss on several occasions, so don't think I won't let'em succeed next time! Test my gangsta if you like....:mad::cool:

Dear friend,

Umm, thanks but no thanks. One of my basic minimum requirements is a college degree, from an accredited 4 year school. And honestly, if you really knew me, aside from the fact you would know a low maintenance man is not even a blip on my man-map, you would know how much of a man-snob I really am (hence my singleness). I could have been insulted but since I know where your heart was with this, I laughed it off and moved on. And the next time you try to set someone up, may I suggest that they are in the same state.:D

Kthnksbye

^^^ CTHU

Dear Water Aerobics Drill Sergeant:

I *HEART* you and our Tuesday workouts. Coming to you on Tuesday gives me endorphins for another day of work on Wednesday and pushes me to work out again on Wednesday, even without water aerobics. However, I wish you could pow-wow with the Thursday instructor so she can get closer to your level.

Dear Division President:

How in da hayle did you fire the last great IT developer in our company but kept that mediocre chick that shows more and more everyday that either she's super lazy or just doesn't know what she's doing? The last great developer must have cussed you out reallll good.You know you deserve every swear and profane thought that's slung at you.

I'll be so glad when I get my CDL so I can get the hayle on. Lord knows April can't get here fast enough.

Dear chick at church...

So you are (for lack of a better phrase) FINE AS HAYLE. I have noticed you for about two months and I always try to position myself at least in eye shot of you. So today, when I finally got the opportunity to sit on the same pew you do, you bring your sister with you and she sits right between us:rolleyes:! However, asking if you wanted a piece of gum was a kind gesture that will make you remember who I am from now on.

Until next Sunday when I ask you your name...have a wonderful and blessed week.:cool:

PS...I feel bad hitting on women at church, but you are fine though...lol!

Dear Kappa,

Don't feel bad. 80% of the single women at church are looking for more than Jesus. ;)

Maybe I should send a note for the choir to sing "Single Ladies" so I can just know which ones are single. It kinda has a "call response" theme to it, so it could work.:D

lol..

They're already practicing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nP9WNsjRVLY :D

:confused:

Dear R.B.B.,

I'm flattered that you want to reconnect with me through Facebook. Let me be honest with you: I don't think I'm ready to reconnect with you. I think I might've outgrown you. I'm at another phase in my life and I don't know if you're on my level. My family and friends told me that you were looking for me. I'm not interested!!! When I said it was over, I meant it. Thank you for keeping me on your mind, but no thanks.

Dear Snow,
You are not a solid or a liquid, what are you? I can deal with you when you are pretty and fluffy but tell your cuz Ice to stop coming around freezing my car door shut! i dont have time to scrape yall off my windsheild everymorning making me late for work..My heart stops everytime my poor car fishtails on backstreets..And why do you last so long?:( a month is all you need to get your point across...sigh

Dear txdiva:

I'm sad for you and I that we both had the same FB experience recently.

Dear FB Stalker:

We were never so serious that you shouldn't be able to move past me. I did not treat you well, but I did tell you that we weren't meant to be a couple. Now, you know that I'm happily married. Why do you need to still be connected to someone like me who does not want to be associated with you at all? I honestly hope you can move forward and find someone who can appreciate your suffocating type of (sick twisted) love and adoration. But I can't be the one. Actually, you probably need to love yourself first, then God will bring the love of your life to you. But it can't be me regardless of the circumstances, even 80 years from now. So, go with God, homie. Go with God.

Dear Customers:

Did you miss the calendar? It's the week of Christmas. Stop calling me! Besides, I know y'all aren't REALLY expecting a lot of business this week considering the industry you're in. Can I have a happy holiday and just study at my desk? *sigh*

Dear Clients:
SERIOUSLY? The WEEK of Christmas and you are expecting holiday assistance? When it's been advertised since the BEGINNING OF NOVEMBER??!! Sorry, there is probably very little to no assistance available at this time. And I have 10 business days to act on any changes. Do not come in here every day to ask if your case is done, when your verifications ARE ALREADY LATE!! :mad: I can only do one thing at at time.

Dear economy:
I spent way more money than I intended to this weekend. Why is it that you are not stimulated yet?

Dear people:
My National Holiday is one week away. I accept cash and money orders. :D