I am REALLY glad to hear that things are going well at Kappa and that you are happy......it is going to get better and better too.

I don't think anybody was criticizing anyone for being honest......I think the criticism was coming in about the WAY certain things were said. Sharing your feelings is fine, and is very important....but there are tactful ways of saying things and there are careless ways of saying things. Nobody knows what really happened in this rush situation except for the members involved in making the decisions, and it is probably best that way. The bottom line is that it is over, and everyone has moved on.

Enjoy Kappa, Molly, you are part of a GREAT sorority.

Just curious, Achtung.....did something like this happen to you?

No, no...I rushed the fall of my sophomore year and even though I was pretty clueless, I managed to end up with my first choice.

BUT...I do have some friends and acquaintances that have had bad rush experiences, so I'm maybe overly sympathetic to that after seeing what they went through.

good post
 

mollyuf
i'm glad all is well with you. your post was excellent. enjoy kappa and don't sweat the past. enjoy the now and work to try to improve kappa on your campus. you can make a world of difference. you have a wonderful forever.
lol
mmcat
:p :D

Good luck in Kappa. Things have a way of working out best in the long run.

Welcome to Kappa, Molly!
 

Molly:

Although I am a little sad about the road you took to get here, welcome to Kappa!

Someday you are going to look back at all of this and laugh, because in the end, it doesn't matter what happened at XO. You may think you know why you were cut, but in the end, you will never know the full story unless you were in the room on that night of voting.

Hell, I have been Rush chair at one University and Rush Advisor at two Universities, and sometimes I don't even know why a girl gets cut. Sometimes it just happens--and you can't rationalize it in the same way that you can't control it. So don't sweat it, and don't torture yourself with "what ifs" because, sweetheart, IT WASN'T MEANT TO BE.

So many women go through Rush looking for a chapter that can make something of them--that can get them a cuter boyfriend, a prettier house, a nicer closet full of clothes to borrow, votes for homecoming queen, etc. Hey, we've ALL done it at one time or another.

But what, in the end, what HOLDS VALUE after you've left college, and have a husband and maybe a few kids and some stretch marks and wrinkles is this: what your chapter helped you make of YOURSELF.

Because as we say in Kappa, in the very end a sorority can only be a better way to stumble down the back steps and out the front door.

All of this has made me think of an old Kappa song that I've always loved:

Not thy key oh Kappa
Not thy fleur-de-lis
These are only symbols
Of what you mean to me.

There is something deeper
Than thy flower or key
That must be the meaning
Of fraternity.

Molly, I sincerely hope that you will find that "something deeper," (be patient, it can take time!) and I wish you the lifelong joy that I have found in being a Kappa sister.

Loyally,

imsohappythatiama

PS--We'd love to see you around the KKG forum!


...and above all I shall remain womanly and true.

Dear Molly,
I was so happy to read your last post because it let me really see you- a thoughtful, intelligent and caring young woman. :)

With the help of Amycat, I got the insight I needed to understand what you went through (thanks Amy!) and since I went to a small school - it was very hard for me to see your side of the rush experience. Now I am wiser. :)

You will be an awesome sister in KKG and you will travel to places within the U.S. where things will be different. Where I live- no one and I mean no one has heard of Chi Omega. But you know who they have heard of and consider it a very elite sorority... Kappa Kappa Gamma. :) The chairwomen of all the social organizations here were KKG's or Thetas in college. And let me tell you- they are beautiful and very classy women.

Please keep us posted Molly- I bet by the time you are a senior- KKG will be a huge house and it will be thanks to you and the hard work and sisterhood you are putting into it!

Best of luck Molly! Sue

imsohappythatiama-That was a beautiful post!

amen!

I know on these PNM Threads we all get curious as to who a PNM is cutting and keeping and what they think, but can't they just say "I cut XZY...I didn't really fit there" as opposed to "XZY is a weak house and blah, blah, blah..." Personally, I wouldn't want to hear anyone putting down one of AGDs other chapters and I'm sure most people don't want to hear that about their organization either.

Erin & Dale...you have a wonderful group of sisters on my campus. Sigma Kappa is a great bunch! :)

I just wanted to say that this is why I love my Sigma Kappa sisters. I love the pride you women take in everything you do! My Chapter used to be one of the smallest chapters as well, but in the last couple of yeas, despite what anyone thought about us, we have successfully re-built to be bigger than ever before. Yes, numbers are important, to an extent, but I feel assured that I know every one of my sisters personally. Our rentention rates have skyrocketed, and my chapter is doing better than ever. We have more women coming back for formal recruitment than I have heard about in the past 10 years, even after 15 members just became alum. We are successful, we are climbing the numbers ladder, and no one can take that away. Yes it excites me when I hear we have more members than houses that we have never been close to in the past, but keeping that close sisterhood that binds us is what is more important. I would rather have 5 wonderful women to call my sisters than 100 I know as aquaintances. (NOTE: I am not ripping on chapters that regularly do have 100 members, total here is only 90- I say only because I have heard so many who have 150 as total on a regular basis on other campuses)
Please do not judge the "weaker/small" chapters based soley on their number. I know that each of you has either been a part of or known one of your chapters exactly like this. There are enough people out there that perpetuate the stereotype that small equals bad, and I know all of you are better than that. It may be different in other areas of the country (someone mentioned the southern schools) but I know that every chapter should respect every member of their conference, no matter the number. I know women in the largest chapters on our campus that respect us as equals. And why shouldn't they. We are.

Re: G8Ralphaxi
 

That's awesome! All's well that ends well.

Bump for 2013! People need to read this as both a cautionary tale and the story of a woman who found her home.

PNMs, please note how easy it is to get someone mad.

It's interesting to go back and read this (twelve year old!) thread knowing how much has changed at UF since then. In 2001, there were some significant chapter size disparities between the largest and smallest chapters which fueled negative 'tent talk' about certain chapters. After the introduction of RFM around 2005 (maybe 2006?), the gaps shrank, and as of Spring 2012 the chapters all ranged from membership in the 140s-180s with no outlying chapters in either direction. I'm sure the 'tent talk' will continue, the way gossip always does when you put a few thousand 18 year olds together, but there are no longer any 'weaker' or 'stronger' chapters based on size.

Hey, that's great! I would say the same has happened at several other SEC schools!

Yep, this is the story that popped into my head when I was telling the mom in the other thread that letting her daughter go to random parties was probably worse for the boy factor than for the booze factor.

And I will also say for the millionth trillionth time, public "runs" to sororities where the feelings of PNMs as well as sorority members are thrown out in the open for the whole campus to pick apart are emotional abuse, in my book.

I forgot to add - they don't do that anymore either. It really is a kinder, gentler recruitment at Florida these days. (Which still requires recommendations.)

Wow, it seems weird to read the old rush threads where the actual sorority names are mentioned!

I didn't read the thread originally, but since the OP doesn't seem to be around anymore, I'll say this:

We only read her side of the story.

We have no idea what actually went on at Chi Omega. We have no idea what actually happened with the Hooters thing and how others perceived it. She may have thought it was harmless, but apparently others did not.

We only read her side.

Just a thought.

I actually find it refreshing.

My feeling is, if you are posting your recruitment story non-live you should be able to use the names. Yes you should have some tact, but I think 99% of us here on GC understand that we are reading the POV of an 18-20 year old.

I personally find the language she uses to talk about the other woman more offensive than posing in a Hooters t-shirt.

It was interesting to read that the chapters at UF now have similar sizes. Things certainly change over time. I was shocked to find out, several years ago, that a certain sorority at the University of Miami is struggling with a negative reputation. Back in the day (I did not pledge due to being quite poor, lol) when I attended UMiami that particular sorority was the place to be and now it's the total opposite. Things do change.

I was not so surprised by Molly's choice of words when referring to the Ice Queen. A post above made a good point that we are reading things through the eyes of young people.

I wonder if Molly stayed active with Kappa for her entire time at UF.

Didn't she pledge the same year that curlygirly did? Some people here know how to reach her.

I just read the thread. I liked the story. OP was very open and honest. She was pretty brave, in my opinion, to be so frank about her feelings and the events. Recruitment and the aftermath is not always storybook perfect. Her personal account felt very honest.

I thought I'd bump this for 2014. Although blunt (and who knows what happened behind the scenes?), she still comes around and accepts her new chapter.

This is especially good to read if you're a PNM who might be thinking that everything will go 100% your way in recruitment.