I think you have plenty of time to focus on marriage later in life after you are done with school, it people ask say you are working on school and that is your main focus.

Yesterday, I met a girl who's 17 and married. It took all my self-control not to say "WHY????" :(

^^BABY?

She's got some serious stretch marks to be so tiny, so I'm thinkin'. Didn't wanna assume, though. :rolleyes:

;) I'm gonna have to borrow that one soror

I was doing some reading and thought of this thread. From now on, this is my mantra and answer to this question:

"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." ~Song of Songs 2:7

No more speculation for me. It'll happen when it happens and not a moment sooner. :cool:

I like that, actually, considering what's been happening in my mind is along the lines of "WAKE UP YOU STUPID @%^&%#&#!!!"

I normally tell people that I am waiting on the one who GOD kept for me.

I am currently in a serious relationship.
Its working out pretty well.

(Look of genuine shock) "I'm only 24, I'm way too young for that!"

"The number one indicator of divorce is being under 25 when you get married."

"I'm picky. I only like dating good men."

"I'm looking for perfect, and perfect takes time."

"To be honest, I haven't really been looking. I've been focused on other things, but I'll let you know when I start husband-hunting."

"It is what it is"

I find it interesting how there's such a negative association with women who are man-crazed and looking to hook one. At the same time, there's something wrong with you if you haven't caught someone asap. You can't have it both ways people! Not everyone is going to magically, accidentally meet the love of their life while focusing hard on other pursuits.

I'm thankful that my family has never pressured me like this, and that I live in LA, where there is little pressure to find a fiance in college. My entire 4 years in the house, I can think of only 3 women who got engaged while still in school (although one other woman was already married when she pledged). And our chapter was usually around 90 women strong.

"Why haven't you stopped asking me that question yet?"

Seriously. I tried answering honestly the first few times - as much as I love my family and the crazy aunts/uncles that always seem to ask that... I don't love them enough to keep all the sarcasm under wraps.

Although I did bite my lip pretty hard after saying "Single sex marriage isn't legal in New York State yet." - although it did stop the person in question from asking again (but made for interesting family Christmas letters).

That is my mom's mantra. She lives her life by it. The whole idea of "shoot, why didn't I say this or do that?!" when really, you can't change it because it's over and the moment passed.

I bought her a plaque for mother's day that says it. She keeps it in her office.

Holy crap, I know this is the "why aren't you married thread", but if I hear one more person tell me that my husband and I just need to "have kids and not worry about it, everything works itself out financially" I'm going to effing scream. Do they pay my mortgage? Are they going to pay for me to stay home for a while? No, then STFU!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Ok, I think I got that out temporarily.

It sounds like the pressure to reproduce is even crazier than the pressure to get married. Why do people want everyone around them to have kids?

I'm going to have lots and lots of snarky and vulgar things to say to people to dare tell me something like that.

Now that me and the bf have decided to get married I'm constantly getting asked when are we going to have kids. I also keep getting asked about when I'm going to quit my job since married women shouldn't work. I might vomit soon......

I have this theory that it's because they've gotten to the point that they've settled into a life CONSUMED with parenting responsibilities that leaves no time for themselves (or each other). They're getting to that point where they've let themselves go and only care about their kids. Their marriages are no longer fulfilling and they're miserable.

So they want every other married couple they know to get to that point to because they can't stand seeing them childless, happy, and still concerned with things other than diapers, dishes, and dinner. :)

Wow, where do YOU live? LOL.

My nephew, who's 7, told me that I could start helping people when I "get married and stop working." He also said that single women work, but married women don't. Although he sounds like a chauvanistic piglet, that's just his reality.

I'm in North carolina but sadly i don't think that has anything to do with it. Some people just think married women stay home (like Munchkins post). I was just floored by being asked that. The harassment about having kids I expected but not that one!

Stuff like this makes me want to beat my head against a wall......

That's what I meant. No home, part-time job.....they just don't sound prepared. At least, that's how I look at the situation.

Misery loves company?

Sorry, I've got my snark on tonight. :p But seriously - whether to have children, how many to have, whether to adopt, whether to abort an unwanted pregnancy or see it through, whether to pursue IVF, whether to pursue permanent sterilization, etc. is nobody's business but the individual's / couple's. And whether / when to get married is up to the couple in question, and no one should get married just for the sake of being married.

Hey, I'm always concerned with what's for dinner, if it was up to my husband it would be hot dogs, steak, or spaghetti. :) I agree. I want children, but just not now. What is so wrong with this concept, people? So what if I'm 32. I'll be having one by 35, so STHU. I'm going to hate going back to work on Tuesday for this particular reason. Two women are pregnant and both got married after me, so all the old hens in the staff lounge as well as the new moms are all going to gang up on me. I've been getting it for a few years now. "When are you going to have kids? You should just have them? Why isn't your husband ready for them yet?"

What business is it of anyone's? I think my new response may become, "Why? Did you start a college fund for my future progeny?" or "We practice daily, but we're enjoying the practice a little too much to stop just yet."

I vote for the second response. :) Or you could just ask them when they will be available to babysit. Or just ignore them until they get the point that you don't want to talk about it.

I'm one of those girls who's almost always single, and I usually tell people it's because I see so many shitty (sorry, but it's true) relationships I'm like, "Really? You mean, I could have a crappy boyfriend, too? Wow! NO THANK YOU." It's just disgusting what some guys (or girls) get away with. I'm still boycrazy, but not boy-certifiably-insane to date someone that isn't good to me.:)
And as far as the kids go, I just see so many IDIOTS breeding little idiots. And I'm happy living for myself right now. I don't need kids (and, again, not in a relationship, so not gonna have a kid on my own...)

Okay, I've been Negative Nelly enough for tonight. I do like kids, and would love to find that right guy for me, but HONESTLY! I see so many nutters getting married and having nutter kids, it's kind of off-putting!

I went to a baby shower today...for a girl who has been married, divorced, and now has gotten pregnant by a married man on purpose because she "really wants a baby."

And she's 21.

I feel sorry for that child. The unborn baby, not your friend. :(

This is awesome. My boyfriend and I moved in together LAST WEEK and I've already gotten several questions from friends/family along the lines of "are you guys engaged yet?"

Um. No. We just moved in, LAST WEEK. Nine hours away from home for me. I don't have a job yet, and I have no friends here. Are you cracked? Give me a chance to unpack all my boxes first!

^^^They're probably asking if you moved in together because you're engaged, not the other way around. ;)

Some, yes. Others probably just don't approve of living with someone when you're not married. My take on it is... fine I can get my own place but those who don't approve of living with someone can pay half my rent!

WTH is wrong with her? and in that respect WTH is wrong with women who go for married men? Yes I realize men are dogs, yadda yadda, but when someone finds out he's married, why not just cut the strings and bail? That is just shady.

We've reached a new low here...one of my students asked me today when I was going to have kids. Granted she's 14, and has no tact, but still...:rolleyes: She seemed horrified that at 32 I didn't have kids yet. Who's next? We got it all day Saturday at my husband's grandma's 80th b-day too, along with an aunt who made the snide remark, "Well since we weren't invited to the wedding..." which my husband cut off with, "You were invited, you just chose not to come." That stopped the BS. :) Yay husband!

(Back when I thought 20 was old) I used to want to be married at 22 with my first child at 24. :rolleyes: BUMP THAT, life is too fun right now! Between my classes, job, volunteer work, and figure skating, I'm too busy for a fish let alone a family.

Haha sounds like me! lol When I was younger (maybe around 12-13), I was POSITIVE that I was going to get married at 20, and have a baby by 21. I figured that was old enough (because I did want to be a young mother, just not a teen one) and I would be ready for a baby. Ummm...yeah, no! lol.

My divorced parents are starting to ask me if they think my 25 year-old sister is going to marry her boyfriend of 3 years. They independently ask my sister if she thinks I will marry my boyfriend of 2 (I'm 28). They don't ask us directly, they ask the other sister. It's a riot!

My 4th grade teacher said this to a bunch of us one day back then, and even then I was like ummmm :rolleyes::o

I thought of this thread over the weekend. I asked my cousins if I could have their addresses for Christmas cards, and one of them asked "So when will we get the invitations."

Invitations for WHAT? I'm probably going to use the bathroom pretty soon here, you want an invitation for that?

The intro to Psych made my boyfriend LOL. He also says "they're totally getting divorced."

I love being made to feel old at 24. Really. You know, it's getting to the point where all these college kids are making me feel so old that I get EXCITED when I get IDed at a liquor store. Really. I'm 24. I should still be annoyed by that.