|
wow....reading this thread kinda makes me sad. I'm a pledge at UC Berkeley and I basically have a half sleeve of tattoos on one arm and a lip ring. I still received a bid because they saw me for who I am. I wish other chapters at other schools could do the same.
|
that's uc-berkeley. it's different at bama. no need to pass judgement on either place.
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
So the "real you " is a tattoo and a lip ring? Here's a shocker for all you sweet young things out there - you are judged by your appearance. Every time you meet someone for the first time, studies show you are sized up within seconds. That's human nature. Knowing that, however, you can alter your appearance to send different messages. That's what adults do. You look different for a job interview than you do when hanging around the house, and you'll alter your appearance to look different at a formal social event than when you are playing a sport. I hope the "real you" is something more than your mere appearance. But sometimes, your appearance is all people have initially. And it is foolish not to put your best foot forward in a situation when you are looking for something from someone - whether it is a bid, a job, approval from your in-laws, a loan, whatever. So, wear that mohawk if you want - but spare us the bs about "they are judging me by my appearance!" when you don't get the job - or the bid. |
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
Tattoos are permanent, and it's always such a HORRIBLE idea to get one on impulse. A good rule of thumb, in my opinion, is that if you're sitting in the tattoo parlor picking a design off of the wall, you are making a mistake. I plan on getting one that I've drawn myself, but I've spent a long time thinking about it and it will be in a place that will show only in a bathing suit. You have to realize what tattoos and piercings can do for you in a professional setting. In general, that is to say, nothing good. |
Quote:
Yeah I know but judgement still happens here its just not as intense. My mother is a Bama alum and I was raised in the state so I do understand the conservative south "ways." I'm just wishing it was different now. Quote:
Quote:
Who said anything about a mohawk? I'm kinda bummed I can't really have purple streaks in my hair because of my job but that's life. You learn to live with it and bend it alittle. My question to you is you seem so harsh and bitter on the subject.....why? |
Quote:
Harsh? Naw - not even bitter. You were the one who said that this thread made you sad, because you had a tattoo and lip ring and were glad you got a bid because they saw the "real you" - and that's all you said. You've actually proven my point - I guess I should say "thank you". I didn't judge you by anything than what you've written - because that's all I had. So your misspellings and the fact you have a tattoo and a lip ring are all I've had to use to form an opinion. You didn't mention the aspects of your character you have now stated. So - my point? People can only judge you with the information they have. Over the internet - your postings. In a recruitment situation - your registration sheet, your recs, your appearance and conversations with sisters. You actually support my assertions again by saying you know when to cover up and remove your lip ring. How is that different than suggesting that in a SEC recruitment a pnm would be well-advised to do the same? While the first sentence was directed to you, you'll notice that the second paragraph was very carefully directed to all 18 - 22 year olds who feel they should be able to dress however they wish with no repercussions. The mohawk was a hypothetical example of an extreme style that might not be appropriate in certain situations. I taught AP English and was a senior homeroom teacher at a private school for years, so I've heard lots of whining about having to wear a uniform or have your hair a certain way. I've always maintained that the important part of you - the part that should really be individualistic - is the part we can't see. I always got a chuckle out of the non-conformists who all . . . dressed alike. So back to the op - cover up the tattoo so they see YOU and not your tattoo. |
Quote:
|
Quote:
Quote:
However, joining a sorority for me was a different matter. If they didn't accept me for who I was appearance at all then that's not a group I wanted to be a part of to tell you the truth. I'm lucky my future sisters didn't judge me on my appearence and I feel very safe and comfortable with them. Is that what a real sisterhood should be anyways? Threadstarter....do what you feel is comfortable to you. Yes, Bama is very conservative and unfournately you may be judged. Do whatever is right by you because ultimately you don't want to be a part of a group that you have to hide a part of yourself from, right? |
Hmmm ... the thread is called "Spring Break Mistake", so I've got to think that the op has had some second thoughts about the tattoo. One of the fastest growing sidelines for dermatologists is tattoo removal - both my brother and my sister have tattooes they'd like have removed. Literally thousands of people every year decide that their tattooes aren't a good idea. As an aside, I've never heard anyone say "Damn! I wish had gotten that tattoo! What was I thinking?"
So maybe, just maybe, it's possible to have a tattoo that isn't really representative of "the real you". In that case, showing the tattoo would be preventing others from seeing you for who you are - which should be more than a design inked onto your skin. I'm willing to be that your appearance was something that registered with your sisters - and they approved. Much depends on the campus culture. When you have to cut hundreds of girls, you are going to have rely on some superficial things - be it tattooes, g.p.a. ,(Can you be a good sister with a g.p.a. .1 less than the cut-off? Yes.) activities, etc. I don't like certain aspects of formal recruitment, but it works for many women. I am not even suggesting that my daughter go through formal recruitment because she is temperamentally unsuited for it. I do hope, however, that she will go through informal, where you often have a better chance to show the "real you" in a less frenetic setting. And that eyelid thing - ow! ow! ow! |
We can just agree to disagree I guess because you're not seeing my point. People are capable of not seeing a person just as a walking tattoo. Not everyone in the world is so judgemental and a bit ignorant to be honest.
I for one never regretted a single one of my tattoos. I'm actually old enough to say that. I'm 25 and have had a few of my tattoos since I was 18. Yeah so I had that going against me in my rush too. I'm 25....a junior transfer...with tattoos. It is easy to see people as who they are even if they're different. |
Quote:
|
To those who are saying how sad and/or shallow it is to make a judgement about a person based on their appearance, I agree with you. But the fact remains it happens all the time, not just here in the SEC. Have you ever cut someone because she wasn't attractive enough? Too heavy? Looked like a nerd? Dressed like a tramp? Was a slob? Those are all judgements based on appearance too. Isn't that just as shallow? I'll bet many of those women were really smart, sweet and funny if you just got to know them.
When you've got over 1300 pnm's with quota around 80, a lot of women are going to get cut and some of those cuts will be for silly reasons. There's no other choice and tough decisions have to be made. We aren't allowed to invite/bid everyone. |
Quote:
You don't know. You're responding idealistically to make a point. |
Quote:
Your responses are personal and that's your business. Just know that the world doesn't revolve around you and what you claim your chapter would do. You will probably be surprised at how "judgmental and a bit ignorant" that you and your chapter are when you look at some of the things you have done more objectively. Of course you probably also have selective observation and memory. |
I also believe Xi has missed the complete irony of her judgmental posts. Tee-hee. Not to mention the original question, which was NOT should I be judged by my tattoo but WILL I be in a competitive SEC rush. Maybe Xi would prefer HPRL - I'm sure no one there pays any mind to appearance THERE. I just wonder, too, how a pnm in a Lilly and with her Vera bag would fare at Xi's UC-Berkley chapter.. She'd never admit it, but I'm willing to be the chapter would make a judgment based on her appearance because EVERYONE DOES. Those who think they don't are just fooling themselves. http://www.asylum.com/photos/ink-that-stinks/481213/ If you do this to yourself, you are SCREAMING "Look at me! Look at me!" - so don't be surprised when people do, and draw conclusions.
And the lofty age of 25 is still awfully soon to say you will never regret your tattoos. Maybe you won't - and that's fine. But as DSTChaos has pointed out, this is not about YOU. You are a new poster - may I recommend you lurk a bit and interest yourself in some other topics? At this point you are coming off as both defensive and offensive - and although you've said essentially you are out of this argument, I will be interested to see if you can indeed just let this thread be about the op, and not in some justification of yourself. Ah, to be young again. eta - and of what sorority are you a member, Xibutterfly? I notice that Alpha Xi Delta is no longer there. |
eta - and of what sorority are you a member, Xibutterfly? I notice that Alpha Xi Delta is no longer there.[/QUOTE]
could it be phi nu xi? there is a thread from 2007(i believe) about a copycat sorority at uc-berkeley which has copycatted theta nu xi sorority, inc. |
They aren't listed on the UC-Berkeley site - and none of the chapters are Xi chapter.
|
google phi nu xi and see what comes up.
|
Oh Good Lord. Well, apparently they aren't recognized by the University. But that would explain a lot.
|
On the subject of, "If they judge me based on my tattoos/piercings/modifications they are hating on the real me!"
I'm with SWTXBelle and agree that this doesn't really make sense. Is your bodily appearance all of what it takes to make the "real you"? Why do you so identify so strongly with your tattoos? Even most people I know with these don't identify their entire self with them in that way (this is probably because most of my friends have tattoos that are easily hidden and those that don't already regret them in their MID-TWENTIES). It strikes me that most people with extensive body modification would probably judge others on their appearance. For example, they probably wouldn't want to hang out with a fresh-faced blond Alabama sorority girl wearing pastel. They would assume that she's boring/"not individualistic"/conservative. Which is not necessarily true. How is her pastel and makeup wearing and blond hair-dying any more "the real her" than your tattoos are "the real you"? In college I never went blond but in many ways I dressed the stereotypical conservative southern sorority girl. My ideas were never such though. Now that I'm in grad school I dress slightly differently. It's not because "the real me" changed, but because my professional and social setting changed and my appearance changed appropriately in order for me to fit in, advance, and make friends. But the core of "breathesgelatin" has stayed the same throughout. I am just really skeptical about people with body modifications getting on their high horse about judging people by their appearance. Everyone does it. That said, I know that I would probably vote to cut someone based on a visible tattoo. I'm not afraid to say it. Most of the people I know with visible tattoos that they don't try to cover are really self-satisfied it about it, and really into this idea that they are part of some awesome "alternative" culture that other people "just don't understand." Personally I think that's lame and their personalities are lame. I wouldn't have much in common with them and wouldn't want them in my chapter. I don't really have a problem with hidden tattoos. I still find them overwhelmingly lame, but I wouldn't cut someone because of that. |
Quote:
|
Quote:
Seems that they have a "social/political" agenda as part of their requirements. Based on the links provided on their own website, I wonder what their opinion of those on the opposite end of the political spectrum would be? Would they welcome them with open arms, repecting that individual's own political activism? Or would someone who is strongly pro-life have trouble getting a bid? Would that person have trouble being judged for the "real" them? |
Quote:
|
Quote:
|
Quote:
Yes we are recognized by the university. Please do some research before you post. http://students.berkeley.edu/osl/stu...ns.asp?id=2738 Scroll down to the multicultural sororities....you will see Phi Nu Xi listed as a recognized sorority by the university. There is a list under the main one in red that lists the greek organizations that are NOT recoginzed by the university....and Phi Nu Xi is not on that list. I'm not sure why you find my post offensive. I'm merely saying that you should look beyond a person's tattoos and actually judge them as a person. I'm sure you'd pass me over like you are now and judge me. That's okay. Think whatever you want. We probably just have different views because you're from an older generation. Political awareness is one of our ideals....but many sisters share different political views and backgrounds. I'm the polar opposite of some sisters in my views and its perfectly fine. It allows for discussion and perspective growth. For example, I'm pro-life and there are other sisters who share my views but there are sisters who are pro-choice. It doesn't honestly matter. What we focus on is having an open and safe arena where people can share and bond.....and actually feel like its a sisterhood. A sorority being a sisterhood.....image that. |
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
|
I went to the website, and looked under sororities.Your group wasn't listed there. If they are listed elsewhere, fine, but spare me the "do your research". I did - and drew the obvious conclusion. If you are indeed recognized, well then good for you. You have a faculty advisor and turned in paperwork.
I'll try to spell it out so you can understand - the point is not that a person with a tattoo should be cut. The point is that in a situation where you have a limited amount of time to make an impression you do not want something as insignificant as a tattoo to overshadow your personality. I've got sisters (sorority and biological) with tattoos, piercings and funky hairstyles. There are actually many threads here about sorority tattoos - do your research before you post. Given the smug, self-satisfied nature of your posts (as though your little copy-cat group could teach GLOs with over 100 years of history and literally millions of sisters anything about sisterhood!) it isn't a generational thing - it's a maturity thing. Grow up. |
Quote:
|
I have discriminated against a guy who spoke with a lisp and wore tacky spectacles.
|
Quote:
What website did you go to? That was the cal greek one and the only one I know of so obviously you didn't try that hard. You just want to find some reason to try to insult me. I've said lets agree to disagree about two or three posts ago and you just cannot seem to drop anything and let it go. |
Quote:
Don't flatter yourself - really. Your first post was a judgemental, smug attack on those had given the op good advice. What I feel strongly about is misrepresenting what I and many of my fellow long-established GCers have written here. I don't want to find a reason to insult you - but I will call you, and any one else, to task for faulty reasoning and poor logic. (Alas, all those years of teaching Rhetoric have warped me.)As you may have noticed, we've all heard the "We're all different - like everyone else!" thing so much that we've become somewhat amused by it. I stated several posts ago that YOU would be unable to resist coming back and once again making this all about you. So I ask you - was I right or wrong? If you want to let it go, then do. No one is forcing you to come back and try and justify yourself. IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU. It should be, and I want to make it about, enabling the op to have a successful recruitment at an SEC school. You have no experience or insight in that arena, so really can't advise her. If the most important thing about her is indeed her tattoo, then she should by no means hide it. But if perhaps it is a small part of who and what she is, then by covering it she allows her personality and other character traits to be the focus. |
Quote:
I just wanted to co-sign, and say that this is still relevant. |
I <3 SWTXBelle.
:D |
So this thread has motivated me to finally get that Speed Racer tattoo on the back of my neck that I've been wanting FOREVER.
Then I'm going to cut my hair really short and rebuke popped collars and turtle necks. There's no hiding the REAL ME and nobody better judge me. GO SPEED RACER! |
Quote:
|
Quote:
It was never my intent of giving off my "We're all different - like everyone else!" attitude. I merely stated I found it sad that a tattoo would hold her back in recruitment. There's more to people than there tattoos or even their appearance....which was the main point I was trying get across. That is bigger than me and I'm not too sure why you would think that point would be "all about me." I'm putting in my two cents and I do have friends who are in and/or were in the greek system at SEC schools so I do have some knowledge from their stories of recruitment. Some chapters will not be bothered by visable tattoos and some will not take the time to talk to you if they see it. It sucks but that's life. |
Quote:
|
| All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:58 AM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions Inc.