Coffee: Sleep is over-rated.



Chai Tea

Sounds exotic, tastes good but in the end...it's just tea.






MLB Baseball

MLB: When you care enough to take the very best HGH.




Hello Kitty

Hello Kitty: For those with too much money and not enough sense.

or

Hello Kitty: For when you want to look like a deranged three-year old.





Dr. Scholls

Dr. Scholls: Keeping your feet calloused for over two generations!




Baby Powder:

Trusted for generations as the essential "pimp slap" tool...OH yeahhhh. You'll get yo' money



Slinky

A tangled bunch of mess that does't do what is on the commercials.


Olive Garden

When you REALLY wanna break a diet, do it with our carb-licious bread and pasta fest!



Barnes and Noble

Barnes and Noble: Putting quaint corner bookstores out of business all over the country!



Oil of Olay

Oil of Olay - No matter how much you slop on, you will still have crow's feet in the morning.








KY Jelly

KY Jelly: Sorry, we can't think of any good excuses for having it by your bed either.:(




underwire bra

Underwire Bra - Cutting off circulation, one woman at a time





Budweiser

Budweiser - When Meisterbrau just won't do.



Diet Coke

Diet Coke: Giving people the freedom to eat 35,000 calories in one meal. Don't worry - it still has zero calories.



Pantyhose

Pantyhose: We run so you don't have to.

Oscar Meyer

My bologna has a first name...it's O-S-C-A-R.

My bologna has a second name it's M-A-Y-E-R.

Oh, I love to eat it everyday.

And if you ask me why I'll say...

Cuz we can't buy good food today until it goes on sale anyway!





Tide

I think you just won!





Tide: The box is so colorful - unlike your clothes, after being washed in Tide.






Just For Men hair coloring:

No matter how dark you make it, you are still a geezer......

*also see our new and improved pubes formula !! For great looking hair...down there!*








Microsoft Vista

Vista: You chose a PC over a MAC, but we've now made that irrelevant.





Groundhog's Day

Groundhog Day: We put Punxsutawney, PA on the friggin' map!




Cooler Scooter :
(http://www.coolerscooterdirect.com/)
*
*
*

I can't decide between:

The Original Liquor Cycle

or

Hey, Look, I got a DUI!





Turkeyburger

Turkeyburger -- Enjoy a burger that has 50% less fat and 100% less taste





Clorox

Clorox - Whitens, brightens, puts out eyes and secretly kills philandering husbands....








Boston Red Sox

Boston Red Sox - Slowly but surely turning into the New York Yankees.


Bacon

Bacon: It doesn't come from pigs -- it comes from the grocery store!




Exxon

Exxon: We have gas.






Canned air

the all-natural, fat-free way to lose weight.




bottled water

Bottled water: Why get it for free when you can pay for it?



the Sun

Ha! SPF 50 my a$$!




Sudokus

Want to feel stupid in front of your coworkers AND your family?


Transformers

Transformers: The perfect toy for schizophrenics!










Molson's

Molson- Fueling regretful behavior since 1768.






Kinko's

Kinko's: When you're just too lazy to push the "copy/print" button yourself.



TJ Maxx

TJ Maxx: The dumping ground for unsellable, ugly name brand clothing.


Aldi:

Aldi- The store you have never heard off before, but that won't stop us from selling you all the crap you could ever need!



Home Depot

When you miss Sedrick and your standard troll just won't do...


Next: Energizer Batteries

Energizer Batteries- We keep going and going and going; as long as the pink Bunny doesn't die or get shot because he is sooo annoying!!!!





Mircosoft Windows

Microsoft Windows - because 80% of the world is too stupid and whipped to switch to Mac





Netflix

For the couch potato who will gain the extra 20 pounds this year.



Next: T-Mobile

T-Mobile: For the customer who hates the phrase "can you hear me now"


KMart