I don't normally respond to these, but yours struck a nerve. My daughter just went through rush and was cut from my sorority on the third day. Not only did I have to hear it from her (as opposed to national HQ or from a chapter alum), she got the news via cell phone!! Obviously, that is the way they do it there. But can you imagine? And to make things worse, when my daughter called me to tell me she had been "released from rush", I started laughing thinking she was playing a "joke" on me! To put the icing on the cake, her roommate pledged MY sorority!!!! Can it get any worse than that? My child is so hurt, not because she (or I) felt like she should automatically be given a legacy bid, but because she really liked them alot and they expressed the same to her, even talking about me and the legacy connection. At this point, I am asking myself "What is the point in even being a "legacy" if it doesn't count for anything?" Why even mention it on the rush application?" I think what I am most hurt about is that my local alum group knew she was going through and the rec. chair did the rec. and not one of them has even bothered to call or e-mail to show support. Obviously, it has never happened to them or they would have for sure. Sorry to be so negative and yes, I know I sound bitter. But truly, its just more hurt and frustration than anything. When your child hurts, you do too!

dear lucybug, i am so sorry that you and your daughter are having to go thru this. it must be so hard for you both.

i wonder if your alumnae sisters have even learned yet that your daughter did not receive a bid? that may be why they have not called. then too, some
people are very uncomfortable sharing their condolences of any kind. this might be the case.

maybe daughters roommate receiving a bid will be a silver lining. through roomie, daughter might get to know many of the sisters, and should daughter decide to give greek life another try next year, the results will be different.

I can say from experience that it is gut wrenching to get the hysterical phone call from your daughter after your sorority has cut her. My daughter was cut after third round (something we NEVER did when I was in school. Always by second round) I was not notified and was completely blindsided by it. So much so that I had to regain my own composure before I could help my darling daughter who was in so much pain. She ended up pledging another group and is completely happy. I was so ticked at my sorority for not having the courtesy to let me break it to my own child. Fast forward to this year-my roomate's daughter was also cut from our own chapter after third round. (what is it with this third round business?) She did in fact get a call and instead of a post card her daughter was able to hear her mother say "I'm so sorry, baby but...". Trust me, the disappointment was much easier to manage. I know that they are busy and there ar so many girls but I believe a phone call could be managed.

Cutting legacies
 

My sister is the chapter advisor at Auburn and she told me that all XO alumni that have a child going through rush at are sent a communication before rush asking them how they wanted to be contacted if their legacy was cut - either phone call or email (I think that she preferred the email method so she didn't have to talk to angry moms).

Please let's be cautious about posting private membership selection information. Statements might not be 100% accurate for the current time and also, it's private information.

Thanks.

I think this is a hard situation. I understand the pain of Mom's not being notified in a manner they expect, yet at the sametime as a International Recruitment Volunteer am frustrated that our EO burns more time on dealing with released legacies for weeks, months, and oh yes years after recruitment instead of focusing on best servicing the needs of the chapters.

Many NPC groups are changing thier policies in light of release figures, more legacies than Q and modified forms of recruitment (what if your first invite party is pref - some require a legacy be invited to the first invitational round- quite a problem there). Expect more changes and more unahppy alums unfortunately.

Well, we've done this to ourselves and it stinks. When we all as NPC sisters realize and start singing "we're all in this together, once we know that we are ...we can all believe we are stars!" then we'll stop cannibalizing support for our individual groups from all those alums who have loved and supported their sisterhoods for years...only to be left with a nasty taste in their mouth after their daughters go through recruitment.

I've said it here before and I'll say it forever. Every PNM with an NPC connection should be considered an NPC legacy and thumbs up to her...but let each PNM and each chapter stand on her own merit and be free to make their own choices and be supported by all.