Would you please be my new SHEro of truth? :D

I know more than a few. :)

It's not just about settling. It's often about not wanting to be married yet. I can definitely relate to wanting to be single and independent until I (not society) decide I no longer want to be.

I said 35+ for me. I will be 30 in August so I can see this but I have to be honest I can't name one male riend over 30 who either hasn't been married or has had a child by now. So to be 35+ yes its possible but I am going to say rare.

Plus 35+ black women is a different population than 35+ black men. :cool:

Rare in the circles you're exposed to doesn't have to translate to something being wrong with the men who aren't. :)

On a surface level.

Beyond the surface we're talking about groups of people who are being judged for not being married. No one should be judged for that. And 35+ black PEOPLE tend to marry each other as opposed to marrying interracially. So the assessment of 35+ black women is connected to the assessment of 35+ black men.

Turm that around to if you were a single Mom.

Actually the older you get the less the age difference will matter. Will the difference between you and your sister's age grow bigger?

The only issue I see with the 35+ male (and to me there is a big differenece between 30+ and 35+) who has not been married or at least in a committed relationship is that he may have commitment phobia.

I am not judging anyone and I am exposed to many circles and yes you are correct in my circles there are few if any men over 35 who have not been married or have a child. I am sure there are plenty of great men who have never been married or have children. I am sure that most people can name one man who fits in this group but I wonder if we polled people how many know many men over 35 who have never been married or have no children. As I said I really can't think of any.

Since I am married I also probably am not as exposed to this group as much as someone dating would be. I am also not 30 or 35 so I also may not be as exposed to that group as well.

I am going to have to disagee with the point that the assesment of 35+ black women is the same as black men. I think its safe today that the amount of black women 35+ with no children and never being married exceeds that of black men, for many reasons.

I'm an only child! :D

Although that isn't remotely what my post was addressing, you are correct. Black women are the least likely in our society to get married. But there are more black women 35+ who have never been married than there are with no children.

I know a few 35+ men available, never been married and without children. Not a large number, though.

For instance, men who graduate from med school are ~27-29ish. They have residency for 2 years and a neurology surgical fellowship for many more years and they get out of that by 35ish...

I know, because my Sorors were all kinna pissed off because I invited this fione pediatrician who was 40 years old. But, when I met him, 4 years ago, he wasn't married... He had a girlfriend, then...

It's funny, because, why is it as a fully married woman I am meeting all kinna single brotha's my age--30-something, who don't have attachments and details, but then, I cannot find my single sistafriends anywhere to introduce them? :rolleyes:

Soror, it's not an issue. It's a blessing actually, BUT with how rampid HIV/AIDS is, I can't help but question (not judge) if this guy could possibly be a down-low brotha. Is it wrong, I don't know. But it's a harsh reality for me. Soror Sheryl Lee Ralph just came and spoke on this very topic and that made it even more real to me. I guess I'm saying that I am very afraid. And truthfully, there are divorced men with children that are down low brothas, so again it's just a fear.

Ladygreek -- I agree with your comment regarding age. Like I said, my sister and I are seven years a part and you can't tell. Further 40's are the new 30's and so on.

Ooooh, that's encouraging!! :D

Umm let me hand you my number and if you see anyone you can just send them my way! ;)

I'm sorry you're in fear, Soror, and I hope you are able to work through that.