Yanno, that being said, when I was an interest, waayyy back when, before you were even a gleam in your Daddy's eye, I couldn't have cared less about the probate show (which was legal back then.) All I was worried about was making line. And very honestly, depending on the org the OP is interested in, the process itself may be more than she can handle if her SAD isn't under control--and I am not talking about anything illegal.

The responses given here have nothing to do with people forgetting that they were interests. They have to do with what is the thing that sticks out most in your mind about joining an org. We have been fighting for awhile the issue of coming out shows/step shows being the most important component. So it did dismay me that the OP was more worried about that than anything else.

And the other thing is folx coming on public message boards to seek advice when they should really be talking to the advisor of their org of interest. Technology has made people lazy and indiscreet in their research.

The bottom line is none of us on here could give the OP a true answer, because we are not part of the chapter of interest, nor do we know any extenuating circumstances that may play into this.

So trust, I remember when I was a prospect and was denied my first time out. And I remember pledging for eight months, because that was how it was done then on my campus--legally. And I really remember discretion.

No one should be cuddled, because we on this board are not in a position to cuddle them and say go for it, it will be alright. But we can try to help the OP glean the other issues that may arise. If that is being mean or not remembering that we were all interests at some time, so be it. I think collectively our take is much more honest than yours with your limited experience.

Don't make me out you--again. :p

Please expound.

Soror LG...first of all I have the upmost respect for anyone who pledged old school and am thankful for the legacy that was laid...believe that!

Now to explain my post, I don't believe that we (NPHCers) should "cuddle" (I think thats the word you used) anyone, there will be no skatin around me...but I do believe we sometimes on this board come off totally unapproachable...some OPs deserve the "ice-grills' for their lack of manners, intelligence, and just plain good sense, but I didn't get that vibe from this OP...some people, especially alot of these younger possibly 1st generation to attend college kids may not have a clue about the dos and don'ts and overall culture of BGLOs...unfortunate as it may be, on ALOT of campuses the "probate", coming out show, or whatever you want to call it is one of the most publicized events of an org, thats just real, so these kids see this as the epitome of our orgs..thats not their fault....true the kids who have a sibling, family member, or someone to guide them through the process should know that those are no where near the most important aspect of greek life, but those without any guidance honestly just may not know....as far as using the internet...thats just the sign of the times...kids start using computers in pre-school now...most research is net based now...and as far as approaching a current member of the chapter...in many undergrad chapters the lack of maturity and elitist mentality of members is often imtimidating to interests..we tell them to use discretion but if you walk up and ask a question about the org your interest, you're pretty much outted (sp)
..this was not supposed to be a book but honestly as for me...I will point anyone who approaches me respectful in the right direction if at all possible...someone did that for me and I'm compelled to do the same..

I just went to a step show they had this weekend at our school. (It sold out and had people sitting in the eisles - 1500 seats in a school of appx 7500 undergrad.) - btw it was amazing! It seems to me that your sisters could help you get over the anxiety or maybe have you do a less demanding role (back of the pack). I don't know where you do your shows, but if it is on a stage you can't see the audience anyway. Seriously, the audience is dark and you are light so you cannot see them even if you wanted to - your eyes can't adjust. The venue could end up helping you. Also, there will be more than just you performing so rely on them to help you succeed.

BTW- At the step show Alpha Phi Alpha had two little kids (9-10) jump on stage in matching outfits and lead part of the routine. Cutest thing ever!!!! The whole show was fantastic and even better than last year. Personally, I cannnot believe how talented they all were. Way to Step!

Lemme just say this.

In the last step show I was in it was our 'presentation'....I was terrified!!! Did I mess up......HECK YEAH! But, I was soooo happy! Talk about anxiety...I was the first to walk in the building and the first on the stage. We had on mask, but everybody knew it was me (I am the tallest). As soon as I walked in all I heard was my name being yelled by classmates. In my head I was thinking shut the hell up...you are making me more scared. But It was fun and Pleeeease believe I was glad when it was over. I don't think I would ever step in a show that was being judge, because I am not that good.

That may be my last stepshow ever!;) AT least I have it on DVD!:D

don't usually quote and comment in threads such as these:

But, AMEN! AMEN! AND AGAIN ANOTHER AMEN!

I don't consider myself to be in the category of "anxiety disorder" but most of you who don't know me (and even those who do) would not know that in person, I am EXTREMELY SHY! I am 43 years old and just last week someone in my school building actually said to me that she didn't know that I "talked" because she has never heard me say anything. Now, I can run my mouth forever, if there is something that I have to say. But, I have been fighting this extreme shyness/anxiety thing all of my life and I hate it when people ridicule me (or others) for it when they don't understand it.

I push myself to do things that I wouldn't ordinarily do -- like public speaking. I am a teacher so that requires me to talk constantly. I love performing (I hand-dance 2-3 times weekly) so that puts me out there. All of my life I have been pushing myself to overcome this and there are days when I would rather crawl under a rock, teach my students, and not deal with grown people altogether but I push myself DAILY in everyway to be social.

I hope that the young lady who posted this would realize that there are more "stressful" situations in being a member than just "probating". You may chair or co-chair a committee and have to give a report to your chapter. Personally, for myself, I find that harder than speaking or performing in public to strangers!!

Feel free to PM me if you like. The more you deal with this, the easier it gets and meds is not always the answer.

Please note I said they should talk to the advisors of the chapter, not the members. And yiou know what, we should come off as unapproachable about out intake processes, because it is against our rules to discuss them on public message boards. That is why we have disclaimers on our NPHC forums.

But to be accused of not rememebring when we were interests is a whole 'nother dicussion.

We have had our fair share of trolls and pseudos on this baord, so for some of us who have been here awhile we are naturally suspicious. That is why my first reaction was whether or not this was a legitimate post. We have also had a fair amount of discussions about step shows being what caused folx to pledge xyz org.

We have a lot of first generation college attendees on here and other boards. But they have also sought advice from teachers, mentors, etc. from the org. of their choice. The fact the OP talked about bids also indicating a general lack of knowledge about the NPHC. Which led to further suspicion, because she seemed to know about the NPC process, but not the NPHC process.

So I asked the question, why are you interested ina NPHC sorority, which was never answered. So now I will ask a follow up question to the OP. What is your ethnicity?

Oh and if she was really serious about an NPHC org, why not post the question on that forum rather than Greek Life? Maybe, she saw the disclaimers?

^^^
 

I agree Sistah LG. :cool:




I cannot afford another dues increase for real though. None of our organizations were founded on the basis of stepping and singing. Last I checked, we were founded to thwart the suffering in our communities. Then we evolved to serve various purposes--as you quite aware...

I personally was not an interest for my Sorority, I was legacy by 3 generations... My Sorority, was not "interesting" for me, it was EXTRAORDINARY for me... And I PLEDGED it that way almost 20 years ago as an "ivy" who transitioned into a soror of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc.

But times change and things are different. There is no longer "ivies" and other pledges. That is now history. But the reality is, once one becomes a member of an NPHC organization, the dedication will not be measured by how many parties you train at... What matters is like a golden or a diamond soror told me, you enjoy the good times in the chapter, and you endure the hard times in the chapter...

That is how we play this game if we are serious.

I can not wait until I am a seasoned soror.

*Singing 'I Think That I Shall Never Know' (tear)

Why does it matter what ethnicity she is? Regardless of what it is, she isn't familiar with the NPHC processes (plural b/c diff orgs do diff things :) ).

Is this the best possible forum to address the issue she brought up? No, most likely not. However, sometimes there is nowhere else to turn.

I'd rather hve give a "fake" poster a heartful true answer than have given a "real" poster a cynical "you're a troll" answer. Why? Because my organization believes in Righteousness, and I believe that is the righteous thing to do.

Random side comment:

Which D9 organizations is it legal to have a probate/coming out show?

I know Zetas can and Deltas can't (from what members in each org have told me). I assume Alphas, Kappas, Sigmas, Iotas and AKAs can since I've seen been to them or seen pics (Rashid's great pics of the 137 :) ...shameless plug for his photogallery at www.oldgoldsoul.com ahahaha)

LMAO.....I'm just the photographer, I don't really know the rules..... but also know that not everything on my site is technically a coming out show. SOme of it was literally just girls singing on the yard for the first time.

APhiA has no rules against coming out shows to my knowledge. But I do know that some chapters choose not to promote them widely.

LMAO!!

LOL again. Stop making me laugh. :p

I don't think many of us (at least myself) gave the 'your're a troll' response.


Alpha Kappa Alpha does not have 'probate' shows.

Her ethnicity should not be a question. Perhaps she is from a predominately white campus where NPC orgs are the majority, yet an NPHC org has really caught her eye so yeah she is probably confused about the differences. I don't think she asked once about how the intake process goes or anything like that anyway so she didn't violate any rules. She was just wanting to get opinions on something that she was very nervouse about.

I have to work on her (mulattogyrl), she's being to nice again.:p

LOL! Believe me, somebody will piss me off and the mean side will come back out. I was just feeling generous that day. :D

I thought that EJay said he was a Que?

yeah i remember that as well...

Please listen to 1908Rev, MeiMeiCat, because she is speaking the truth.

At that site, they will verbally run you over just like a freight train.

The only difference is that a freight train doesn't back up and finish the job. *lol*

Excuse me soror, but I am a member of Omega Psi Phi Fraternity, Incorporated so TRUST me I know full well how an NPHC intake process goes, and plus i am a neo so the rules and regulations are very fresh on my mind lol. This thread wasn't about the intake process which is why I said she wasn't violating any rules. This thread was about if she makes it (which is the type of attitude she should have because who submits thinking that they won't make it) would her disorder hinder her?

She of course is confused about the process and I attend a predominately white campus and I have experienced some of the same questions? How do i get a bid etc.....but that wasn't the actual question being asked.

Do I think she should be worried about more than just the probate show? Of course she should. But as a GDI alot of times that is all people see due to parties and the media (stomp the yard). My advice was that if she is to make it she will realize that there is alot of work to be done behind the scenes that she could have a very instrumental role in. Am I wrong or am I right?

shoot and he would know LOL

/jokes

:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

As long as you stay over here.

Who are you over there? The one with the pink donut in your avator? lol

Exactly. Any coming out ceremony of any sort was just a distant POSSIBILITY that I didn't think about.

I thought about what it took to become a member and the hard work I saw the Deltas doing around me. If we didn't have a coming out ceremony of any sort, it would've been all the same to ME.

As a solo I know exactly how you feel about the whole probate/coming out show thing. I am a shy person so the thought of performing in front of the whole campus-and by myself at that- was terrifying to me. However, I was so focused on being selected and going through the process of becoming a Zeta that I had no time to entertain the thought of a show until it was time to prepare for it. At that point it wasn't even an option of whether or not I would do it. If was HOW I would do it. I can't speak for everyone else but when I thought about all that I had gone through up to that point, it gave me the rush I needed to go out and strut my stuff. I was not only happy that I did it but I was proud of myself for overcoming my shyness. It may not be that simple for you since you have a medical condition but I hope it serves as a little inspiration (or something). Like many others on this board have said though, make sure that your health is your priority. :)

I thought you were a Que, not a Delta. :confused:

I know, I know--that's a whole 'nother thread. *going to the corner*

You are wrong. Don't confuse Coming Out Shows with regular step shows. At a coming out show you are doing just that--coming out.

By the way many of us went to PWIs.

Then he needs to sit his Neo Que ass down.

Ejay, sit your Neo ass down, low man.

I just wanted to say that I like this post a lot. :)

Me to. I don't think probating crossed my mind when I was trying to become a member. I guess she thinks stepping is a requirement.

I support this post.

LOL;)

LOL! He's posting like the Sand isn't still between his toes.

Haha trust me if anyone knows how to humble themselves as a neo its me, but pledging does not take away my right to an opinion, sorry if yall think otherwise.

i'm at a loss to understand why my ethnicity matters too, or really why anything all that specific matters in reference to my original question but since we're off on a million different tangents anyway, i'm black. and i think you were the same one who was skeptical because i referred to a "bid" and ohmygoodness nphc's don't give bids! ok, my bad. i wouldn't know, being that i'm not at all involved in them. i had no idea lack of knowledge was so offensive, especially during the process of gaining knowledge in the first place.
and i just posted this here because i stumbled across this website when i was researching nphc's on like, google or something. i didn't actually even look through the different forums or whatever, i just picked the one that had the most viewers and posted there in hopes of a helpful response.
and i'm interested because i've talked to a some members of different groups here and they seem awesome. is that a bad reason to initially be interested in an org? isn't that the idea that the people in your org are awesome and you make other people want to find out what else you're about? i can't claim to, nor have i claimed to be all-knowing in the area of nphcs and different organizations, or even freaking web forums.
annnd i don't understand what's so skeptical about someone who asks a question. i mean, did it sound like a fake question? it wasn't even that long. there wasn't even enough material in my original question to constitute any alterior motive at all. it was pretty much "i have anxiety, will people hate me?" and i honestly don't even know what any alterior motive could have been in regards to a question like that.
but sure, be skeptical people. i could be crazy. i asked a question! obviously i'm out to bring all of you down...with a question.

No, that's not me.

LG, this time I won't make you put your had on. j/k

But for real....I think you were reading my mind.

Hey...I'm a neo too.

Sweetheart, how old are you? And do you have ANYONE in your extended family that can answer some of these questions? Like a cousin, uncle sister's brother's wife's cousin's great grandmother?

And I would start with this site:

The National Panhellenic Council: http://www.nphchq.org

It would help you give yourself a "clue" and some vital knowlege. And there's always Wikipedia...

You know there's a difference between SORORity and FRATERNity? Right?

And with anything else, the NPHC organizations are about grades and units.