RE: Family, we just have to agree to disagree. If someone has a lot of family drama, there is something they can do about it, cut off or at least reduce contact with them. While I have not come from a super dysfunctional family myself, I wouldn't say that I came from a "Leave it to Beaver" one either, I don't think I'm really judging anyone. I had to reduce contact from a certain grandparent, because this person's drama was definately impacting my life. This is the main reason why someone's family background is so important to me, I don't want to go through drama again. If someone is closer enough to their drama-filled family, I don't see how it can NOT spill over into your relationship and your life.

Yellow Flags
*Has many ex-friends, and can walk away from any friendship without being sad.
*Strongly democrat

Red Flags
*Strongly republican, fortunately those kind of guys usually aren't attracted to me, but you'll never know...
*Appears to be boring AND doesn't want to do crap about it. Never left the state and has no desire to. Only likes one genre of music. Has no style. Whatever people, piercings and tattoos can be sexy, if they don't go overboard. I like goatees, I don't know a boring guy that has one. Does not want to go east of highway 270. Prefers a night in to a night out. Chooses to eat at Applebee's for our first date, LOL.
*Has no sense of humor. Easily offended. I'll ask them what's their favorite movies and comedians to find out their sense of humor. Everyone here on GC knows what my sense of humor is like, if someone doesn't like it, they can bounce!
*IS A WALKING STEREOTYPE OF THEIR RACE! No nerdy Asian guys. No angry black men. No whitebread white men.

Now see, this is where I agree with you. I have two tattoos and I will be getting a third when I can afford it. However, I have chosen to get them in places where they're not easily visible, because I don't think it's at all classy to have them showing all the time. My sister-in-law got a frog done on her shoulder and you can see them in the wedding pictures. I don't want that. Mine are and always will be discreet.

Then they shall be posted elsewhere! :)

No, I won't be single all my life, because I'm a great person and treat women with dignity and respect, no matter what she looks like. I don't care if she has 50 tattoos, and a whole drawer full of ankle braceletts I'll still treat her with respect, I just won't be with her, that's all. I just have certain standards that I was raised to have, and I will not settle for less.

Right now I'm currently seeing someone and I happen to have a great time with her when we're together. I thought you were pretty cool at 1st but to explode and call me a jackass because I have certain preferences is wrong, but you're entitled to your own opinion. You settled....o.k. that's what you did. Would I settle? No. Would I want someone to settle for me? No. Because I don't agree with you, I don't call you out of your name. Pretty intelligent AKA Monet. I still like you though :rolleyes:.

She may come from a great family and still have a tatoo or bracelet. I haven't seen a girl like that yet, but I'm sure she exist. Would I get serious with her? No. Now that I think about it, there are no yellow flags for me. It's either green or red. If I see a yellow caution, it's just like the traffic light. Yellow always turns to red.

I would have broken up with her too. I agree, to me it's not lady like.

To me she would just be a nerdy girl with piercings, tatoos, and wears glasses. She wouldn't be for me though. We would be friends and that's it.

I think that's great you have two chemistry degrees, and come from a good family, I'm just not down with the tattoo.

When I was in college, I brought home this girl who wore an ankle bracelett, and dressed very provocative. She didn't have a tattoo, but the ankle bracelett and provocative clothing were enough to tell my parents she was not my type. The look on my parents faces, I knew right away they didn't approve. I was really young then, and decided to settle. Never again. She turned out to be very permiscuous. I can see girls like that coming a mile away now. I know what you mean about bringing certain girls home to meet the parents.

Exactly. I agree. I'm very conservative also and would only get serious with a conservative woman. Everyone on here has certain standards and certain people they would continue to spend time with.

Too much interest too soon is the number one sign of an abuser. If I only knew then what I know now. Forcing your number out of you and then calling the next day knowing things about you that are rather obscure is NOT a sign that it is meant to be/he is psychic/God sent him to help you/any other good thing.

How did this thread get from serious things like "I won't date him if he drinks and drives" or "I won't date her if she's massively in debt and keeps spending" to "OMG tattoos are super nasty!"

We have threads where we wallow in the shallow* and say what we do or don't like appearance wise, this isn't one of them. This (I thought) was a little more serious discussion about things that can be potentially dangerous or terrible when dating and I'm really disappointed that it had to turn into people being closed minded about appearance. What's next? "Redheads raise a red flag for me because of that Sidney chick from Melrose Place and they are all man stealing psychos!"

*those don't rhyme. Odd, huh?

The thread is "what would raise a red or yellow flay on a first date FOR YOU." Perhaps you didn't catch that. Some people are very conservative....and would like to date conservative people. Going on a date with a girl that was tatted up would probobly raise some concerns.

So if he'd gotten out of the joint a month and a day ago, you'd be cool with that? :p

priceless! i love those plates


edited to add - my own personal red flag would involve inviting me up to see the view from your condo having just met you while on vacation. yay TED!

What, you mean you don't want to drink the absinthe? Or go to breakfast the next morning? Or lunch? Or ditch your friends and go to dinner?

Received any texts lately?

Alas, no. :(

Whoa!!! :eek:

ZTAngel, the moderator, has called folks out about personal attacks.

Hey, if you choose to believe I settled, whatever, you don't pay my mortgage... Personally, I said I settled down... Compared to my fun times I had before I met my husband, i.e. tours on the red carpet in Hollywood premiers, someday, all my partying had to stop... Either I be with a philadering playboy or a goof-ball nerd... I chose the nerd because he was a good man and would love me. Besides, I love him, too... :D

The point is, what are we suppose to accomplish in this life? And life is about choices. Red, white, yellow, pink, and green flags before you date don't mean chit if you don't ante up straight with yourself...

Took me a long time to realize that... Just wanted you to not waste your life away like I did mine...

And I am not doing it because I want to be cool :cool: . I do it because I actually do care, with compassion and faith, for people...

If it's all on the interweb, it's easy for anyone to find out "obscure details."

BTW, how does one FORCE a number out of you? How about the word NO?

Well...thanks. I wasn't getting personal though.

The case I am referring to happened back in 1993. WAY before the internet was easily available. WAY before search engines could make things appear easily. That, and I was very young and naive- and the person knew most of my phone number already for some reason.

Yeppers, stalking.

I've heard of a couple cases where women were beaten up and/or shot and killed because they refused to give a guy their phone number.

To me, its much easier to give the number and never answer the phone than it is to jeopardize my life because some guy can't stand to be rejected.

I jokingly asked a guy, on a first date, "So, any felonies?" and he replied (very seriously) "Only the one..."

LOL. Did you ask him what he did?

Red Flags: Compares his past relationships to his mother
Talks about Xs a lot
A current or former playboy
Has an earing in one or both ears
Has any kind of felonies
He doesn't like greeks
Doesn't like animals
Uses vulgar language in regular conversation
Watches soaps
A workaholic. Any kind of holic.

Yellow Flags: I don't have any. I walk away from those too:p .

Red flags:

- says on the first date that he doesn't like wearing condoms (and that he can pull out :rolleyes: )

- after the condom line says that he and his ex fiancee (who cheated on him multiple times) had unprotected sex quite often


(can you tell this happened to me on a first date)

Well, I was going to put something generic like "is rude to waiters", but since you actually went and gave an actual example that happened to you on a first date, I'll share mine.

"So the other night, I had a party and my buddy asked if he and his girl could use my bed to have sex. I said it was alright and he wanted to pay me, but I told him it wasn't necessary, cuz I have no idea how much one would charge for something like that. What do you think the going rate would be for something like that?"

And then later on during dinner:
"So this one time, my ex-girlfriend and some friends had a Passion Party, and I got a cockring. Well, later on that evening, after she and I had finished having sex, I couldn't get the cockring off. I ended up having to run down the hallway naked to get my Swiss army knife to jimmy it open."

Later on, he also mentioned how he wasn't quite over his ex. And of all the girls he had dated, she was the only one he respected. He said he thought all the other girls he dated "never lived up to their full potential".

Needless to say, I never went out with this guy again. I went out with him on that first date, because he had looked like a normal guy. :confused: Guess looks can be deceiving.

There was another guy that I went out with that said "You know that stereotype about black guys? Yeah, it's not really true."

I just saw this. I can't argue with either one of you. LOL. I guess I should have told her that I wasn't interested. I just didn't like to step on toes or hurt anyones feelings at the time. I remember my fraternity threw our annual Ball and a young lady in XYZ sorority asked me would I take her as my date. She told me that she had already been asked from other guys, but she wanted me to take her. I felt that if I said no, then she wouldn't have a date, so I said..."Uhh...o.k." She lived in her sorority's house, I had a car, so I picked her up, and she looked stunning. When I got there, she was the only one there. I said "Where is everyone?" She told me at the Ball. There was no way I could have told her no, especially knowing that all her girls had dates. She was very attractive, but she had a small tatoo of her sorority on her lower back. I could barely see it, but it was there. I never told her about that tatoo:( .
That was then though. I'm not like that now. If I have to step on toes then I will.

lol he is`ex's best friend. yeah should stay away from that. ;)

yeah ex's-friends are bad ideas

also.....no pets that is a yellow flag, not red, but I am allergic to them, well most of them.

This is insane, you'll ditch a guy because he watches soaps? :confused:

A guy my friend once tried to set me up with said "you should know that I have a really small penis." This was about 3 minutes into the date.

Um, I would, LOL. WTF.

Mine would be more the earring in one or both ears. A guy that I really, really liked (who I worked with last year) had an earring in one ear (can't remember if it was the left or the right). It worked for him. (Too bad he had a girlfriend most of the year).

As for the soaps, hey I love watching soaps because they are so damn corny. If a guy can sit down and make fun of them with me, more power to him. My grandpa still watches Y & R (even though it was my grandma's soap and she died a year ago).

Along with many others that have been stated here are some other jewels!!! Something I like to call my top 5 for this year!

1. I usually don't find big girls attractive but for you I'll make an exception! (WTH!?!) RED Flag

2. If he voluntarily tells me what he is like sexually. (Hayle No!) RED flag

3. If he goes on and on about the accomplishments of his father/mother and how he followed their exact footsteps. (Ummm are you an individual?) Yellow!

4. If he talks about the high expectations everyone has of him and he is REQUIRED to bring home a pretty girl and if his mom doesn't accept you then he cannot even consider being with you. (A little much I think!) RED Flag

5. He talks about his kids (yes plural) and how he has had a kid with every relationship but after the baby the mother starts "trippin". RED flag