When I served on EC we had several members get married while still in school and they were always given the option to remain a member, or take alum status because it was automatically granted. All of them decided to take alum status.

In the case of an unmarried pregnant woman, however, if we were faced with a situation like that, I don't think she could handle remaining a collegian, as chapter duties obviously become less of a priority.

The only time I wear paraphernalia is @ Group Pojects or meetings. But to answer your question if I denounced my membership I would not continue to wear my orgs stuff. My point was that if a member drops/denounces we want all the main stuff back, membership manuals, ritual manuals, Id cards, etc. We are not going to chase someone down about what they purchased with their own money. Now if we see them with the stuff on we will request it. But i am not gonna show up on your doorstepp and say hand me back everything you purchased.

Usually in finalizing a member withdrawing from the chapter there are papers signed, etc. The chapter will ask that the person bring anything with her letters on it with her to will to the chapter/littles etc.

They can't always hunt them down, and they might not want to if they're concerned about a disgruntled ex-member spreading ritual, but they request them.

The way I see it, if you buy things for yourself with your GLO's letters, and you have any inkling that you may ever deactivate, get terminated, etc, you know you're running the risk of dumping your $$ down the drain.

And those who deactivate for finacial reasons - one letter sweatshirt was approximately equal to 10% (or more) of my semester's dues, unless you get a piece of junk...and that's just sweatshirts. They make all kinds of overpriced crap with letters on it. So to me, if you've spent all kinds of $$ on stuff with letters on it, and then can't pay your dues, I don't feel sorry if you get your stuff taken away. (With exception of those who have something tragic happen and can suddenly not afford dues).

we have girls who have children and/or are married- we take this as a blessing and alot of them remain active (they do not have to become alumna). also, if a pledge drops, we immediately take back her pin and such. if a sister drops her letters, we take those back from her too.

So I know this is an old thred but we actually discussed this in a meeting about a week ago. About 2 years ago, it apparently became a 'trend' of sorts for girl late in the sophomore or in their junior years to drop (there were around 7 or 8 girls one right after the other) - they figured "hey I've made friends with all of these girls and all of the mixers have helped me meet everyone I need, so why should I continue and pay $1300 in dues each semester?" They simply stopped coming to meetings, stopped paying dues, stopped answering phone calls from the treasurer, etc. They've kept all of their friends AND all of the paraphenalia. You can see on their online profiles it says "I used to be a member" and "Miss you girls!" as if they don't still speak, which is not the case. We decided at this meeting, to enforce the long-standing policy and we plan on getting ahold of the girls and taking back any pins, letters, and other special items. These girls essentially went through the pledging and initiation process, took a little their soph. year, made friends, and then figured they were done and didn't follow through. We also have girls who transfer in, go through the affiliation process, are voted in, and then don't pay dues or some to meetings. Both still wear t-shirts and have 'hints' of the chapter around (see online profiles and t-shirt comments) even though they are no longer members. It is not fair for the girls who have true dedication and passion to have girls doing this sort of thing, and personally it just drives me up a wall.

If someone has a LEGITIMATE reason for leaving, that is a different story.

And on the pin topic, you essentially RENT the pin. You pay rent for you apartment, and when you stop, you no longer get to live there. Same concept - you drop, the pin isn't yours anymore.

/rant

The way people love to post, I'm surprised that at least 1 member didn't post on the "non-member's" page something about.."gee...I can't remembr seeing you at our chapter meeting or event...or "you need one of those "I only went to the XX to get this shirt".;)

I have to disagree.

I had a sister-daughter who depledged. Years later, she still calls me mom because even though she no longer wanted to be a part of the sorority, I still took her under my wing and continued that friendship. She chose to quit for her own reasons, but there's no reason for me to tell her "you CANNOT call me mom anymore because you chose to quit."

If the disaffiliated member still calls em "Big"...just let em. They are friends, after all. It might be the best and only thing she'll take away from her sorority experience.

I agree. A person who disaffiliates with their org and continues in the vein that you describe is definitely a "perp".

Why all the unnecessary drama?

I could give two shits about what others may think or if they get confused.

If someone has to drop because of money or something beyond their control, then I can see why they would want to hold on to the group and keep up the relationships they had in it. I'd have felt bad back in college if one of my sisters had to quit, but I would have felt worse if she acted like we weren't friends anymore because she had to quit.

But if someone quit because she said the group was lame or she wasn't into it, then I agree that she should also recognize that she has to give up the benefits of the group and that she can't try to have it both ways. It's like she's saying "you all aren't fun and important enough to make a priority, but look at me, I'm still one of you." Uh, no. You could have been, but you chose not to be.

It just depends on why they dropped in my opinion.

And if you got kicked out, then in no way should you be pretending to be a member of the group.