That is SO Amazing!!!! I realize this is coming late, too, but I am so happy for you and your daughter!
I am so glad she also got to pref my AMAZING sorority, AOPi :) & I am so glad she found a home in ZTA. All of the Zetas I know are absolutely incredible women and I know she is going to have an amazing time. That is so wonderful that you get to experience this together! <3

thanks egaopi.

an update
 

thursday i flew into birmingham and attended my daughter's initiation!! i was invited to participate in the ceremony! it was such a beautiful experience-one i hope that many of you will be able to experience some day.

I LOVED reading this!!!!:D
Congrats to both you and your daughter!

Congrats!!!

Did she end up with the past president as her big?

no, the past president will be graduating and did not take a little....but my daughter was fortunate enough to get TWO big sisters. because quota was lower this year than last, and all the sophomores wanted littles, they decided that a few of the new members would get two big sisters. i think that this is a very diplomatic solution to what could have been a sticky situation.

she was having a hard time deciding which girl to list as her #1 choice-so she was beyond thrilled at the big sister revealing to discover that she had both girls as bigs!! we took them to lunch on friday and both girls are wonderful-i couldn't be happier for her.

Wow this story just keeps getting better and better. And how COOL to get two bigs!!! I too have thoroughly enjoyed reading this story and must be an amazing experience for your daughter!

I agree that it was a very diplomatic move on the part of the chapter to give two bigs to some girls. And it means twice the presents! :D

daughter called last night (after chapter) and was so excited. she made it into the house for next year!! already knows what room she will have and her roommate is one of her big sisters.

this was such a great story! though i wont be having children anytime soon, i have a sister who is in college and am dreaming of her becoming my soror one day.

congrats!

thanks tld221. i hope you can call your sister your soror soon!!

I was looking at the website for ZTA at Samford....it really brought tears to my eyes, it is really nice.
Anne

That's a wonderful story FSUZeta - I just read through the thread for the first time. I was so happy for you to see it unfold that she became your sister - I have to admit that I teared up a little reading the thread. :o

I have a long ways to go before my daughter might even be considering sorority recruitment (she's only 3 1/2 ;) ), but I hope to have a story with a happy ending like yours one day. :D

I also come from a pretty solid Greek tradition.... and no one in my family is in the same organization.... Then again, my mom's sorority is not at my school ( even though my school has 11 panhellenic and about 4 multicultural). My aunts' and grandmother's are, but I am not in theirs.

I do have a little sister that is 9 and already is talking about going to my school and possibly joining my group. I have a strong feeling that she will decide to rush upon entering college. There are also my three younger brother's too, one of which is entering college next year and is looking at joining a fraternity.

I really do hope that i can share a similar story later in life!

I found out that my relatives were secretly hoping that I would join their organizations, but they were just as happy when I joined my own!

For all the members here, just remember that it is all about where your son/daughter/relative/friend feels most comfortable. My best friend is in a different sorority, one that I didn't really fit with during recruitment.

just a brief update on my daughter: tuesday her chapter held their big/lil sis reveal and she has twins!! one little is a freshman whom kathryn actually preffed and her other little is a sophomore whom she became good friends with last year. she is so excited to have twins!

over the summer we had fun shopping together preparing for kathryn to get 1 little and thought we were set. then more girls sign up for recruitment than last year, and quota is raised so some of kathryn's pledge class know they will be able to take 2. between the 2 of us we were able to match the original purchases and all is well!!

FSUZeta:

Congrats to your daughter. When we do big/lil matching we try very much to not have twons so everyone has their own big. The only time we allow twins is when it is the overwhelming first choice of the NM to have a certain member as her big. This says many wonderful things about your daughter both in the fact that she was so wanted as a big and that she was willing to take on twins! What a happy day for her ZTA family!

FSUZeta,
Congrats to you and your daughter! My daughter just joined my sorority a couple of months ago, so I know how you feel. I just have an initiation question. Did you contact the sorority or did they call you? My daughter is getting initiated next week and they know she is a legacy but I have not heard from them at all. I'm just assuming that her chapter does not include relatives. We live a long way from the school, but I would definitely be willing to fly out there.

I would think your daughter could ask the chapter prez or some other EC member, or her Big even, if you could be there. Not sure if you should approach them yourself, but I would think if she asked it would probably be ok. As a collegiate member, I wouldn't have minded at all - in fact I might have been jealous. I hope I have a daughter who goes ZTA so I can be there too :) Good luck, let us know how it goes!

Sorry FSUZeta -- I didn't mean to hijack this thread! When my college chapter invited moms, it was always a surprise for the new member. The mom revealed herself near the end of the ceremony. So... I hate to ask my daughter to ask.

Ohhh... well that sounds neat too! I guess it would have to fall on you then to approach the chapter. I would think it would take a while to go through national office (if you've only got a week). Maybe talk to the chapter advisor...? What GLO are you in - any of your sisters on GC who may be able to answer this question for your specific org?

Gamma Phi. I did ask for thoughts on the Gamma Phi board and got a couple very encouraging replies! I just feel a little awkward about calling the chapter advisor, so I kept putting it off.

You'll look worse for having waited. Get on it girl! What's the worst she can say, no? And if she does, then you can send her flowers to her dorm or the house as a congrats or something.

Ok, thanks! And the flowers are already done -- her new member educators sent the parents a letter saying it was tradition to send them to the House, so I ordered them right away.

Beebadger, I would definitely contact the advisor or chapter president. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity! When I was an active, we had a sister surprise an initiate, and it was so exciting!

I can't believe they wouldn't want you there. Maybe they're not used to initiating legacies. I went to my daughter's, and it was so much fun. You have to go!

You should definitely not feel awkward calling the chapter advisor. As a former advisor (of a different sorority) I can tell you:
1) I would have loved to get an enthusiastic mom calling me about coming to initiation!
2) its a good heads-up for the advisor that something has fallen through the cracks. For example, maybe there are other legacy moms/sisters/etc who haven't been invited and there is still time to get info out to them about coming.

You should absolutely try to make it out -- to me watching a legacy's surprise, confusion and joy at seeing her mom/sister/etc. there for her initiation is one of my favorite moments!

UGASK
 

If your sorority has someone in charge of alum relations, that would be a great person to contact. My daughter was recently intiated into my sorority, and I got a really nice written invitation to attend from the alum relations officer. There was another legacy mom there, and several other alums, and it was a great experience.

Oh my gosh yes, you ought to call them now! The feeling of witnessing the initiation of someone special-even witnessing someone watch a special person be initiated-can't be beat!

When our second Chi O was initiated, a friend's mom was present because her daughter was also being initiated. When BlazerCheer caught sight of her, they both cried. So did our first Chi O, as well as the friend's daughter: all 4 of them had such a special moment!

As a Chapter Advisor, I would say definitely come.

On the same train of thought, any Alpha Gamma Delta in Good Standing can attend an Initiation and Senior Rededication (when the senior graduates). After all, isn't that what sisterhood is?

At our ceremony the other night, 1 new member's mom and 2 sisters are AGDs and another's mom and cousin (who lives in town) didn't come. I thought that was kind of sad but I guess everyone had their reasons.

beebadger, do call your daughters chapter. this is a once in a lifetime occasion and you should(and are entitled) to be there.

i would suggest contacting the chapters general advisor, not the girls, because they are sometimes hard to reach and sharing the details is not their top priority-it's not that they don't want us there, as much as i think that they live "in the moment" and don't seem to understand that we "adults" have obligations and need to plan ahead. your daughter probably will not know many details that would be helpful to you and may not feel comfortable asking questions-remember, this is all new to her and she most likely does not feel totally comfortable with her position in the sorority-my daughter did not this time last year, but after living in the house for almost a full semester, experiencing recruitment from the other side, and getting little sisters, she is more confident and better informed!

savor the memories-i hope you get to place your badge on her yourself!!

please come back and let us know how it went.

Well, I finally got brave enough to call the chapter advisor. She was very nice but didn't seem to know the answer. She said if the other legacy (there's one other) had a local person, she might be coming but If I was far away it wasn't necessary! I don't think she got it!! I know it's not necessary; that's not the point!! Anyhow, I asked if there was any way of knowing if the other person had been contacted by someone and was coming. She said she'd talk to the rituals chair, who is organizing the ceremony, today and see what she could find out. I told her I didn't want to make them do something they don't necessarily do, but if the other legacy's relative was going to be there, I would definitely come. (We were planning on going to Arizona the next day anyway and it would sort of (ha!) be on the way). Wish me luck. I'll know later today I think.

i would just find out the time and place of the ceremony and plan to be there an hour before hand. meet with the officers and tell them you are an alum and you would like to pin your badge on your daughter. i don't think that it would be necessary for you to stay for each ceremony. my daughter and another legacy whose mother attended were initiated in the first ceremony. i was able to visit with her for a bit afterward and then i left and had a nice dinner with the chapters general advisor and another alumna that i know in birmingham. all the new initiates had to stay , but i was there thru the weekend so we were able to have a good talk about the ceremony and a good visit the next day.

frankly, i wouldn't worry about the other legacy-if her relative is not going to attend, they should be able to have her initiated with another new member. i vote that you go. whether the chapter is used to having alumnae attend initiation, they should be falling all over themselves to accomodate you. please go.

I second FSUZeta - please don't miss this opportunity!

Go!

They called and basically told me not to come! The chapter advisor talked to the Rituals Chair (is that a collegian?) and she said she had never even considered such an option. The other legacy's sister is currently an active member and she will be there, but they assured me she wouldn't be taking any special part in the ceremony in regard to her sister. They pretty much stressed that my daughter would be well taken-care-of and there was no need for me to make the trip. The Chapter Advisor said they've never really invited legacy relatives before (at least in this group of girls' time in the chapter). I did ask at Gamma Chapter's Founder's Day dinner today and the brand new actives and other collegiate members said they no longer did it at my own chapter either. Alas. Times have changed. At least now I now I made the effort and she won't be left out if other local legacy relatives are there... because there won't be any. Thanks for the support, though! You guys have been great!

I'm shocked! I really, truly am - and can't imagine this is somehow the new and improved way Gamma Phi treats legacy's moms/sisters/aunts. Of course, I'm not an officer of Gamma Phi in any way, but this just sounds . . .wrong.
You did the right thing - and I hope you and your daughter are able to share many other Gamma Phi experiences. PLEASE consider going to Convention next year with her - it's a fabulous experience (and I'd get to meet y'all!)

That would be fun! Thanks again.

And thank you FSUZeta for giving up a portion of this space with a TOTALLY hijacked thread.

always glad to share-especially with other moms!!

i am so sorry that you aren't able to go, but just think of the great conversation that you two can have about her initiation when she next comes home!!

I can't imagine that happening in Zeta, but I guess collegiates "think in the moment" as someone else said and maybe times have changed. Still really sad though... I just hope I don't encounter a Zeta chapter that feels that way, or I would suggest trying it at least. There's no harm in changing the way things are done sometimes, especially if it will make the ceremony all the more special for one of the initiates. I sincerely hope I have a daughter and that she decides to join Zeta so I can be there at her initiation. That would be beyond special! Zeta thinks very highly of relatives, so much so that we have a pin just for mothers, so I would think this is an organizational thing and not just a chapter thing...

Some people told me to contact International Headquarters and make a big deal and I understand that. I am frustrated and disappointed. But... the whole point of me being there was to make it a really special emotional moment for my daughter. Something we'd both always remember. And i was afraid if I bullied my way in that the girls there coordinating initiation (and maybe the chapter advisor and new member educators, etc.) would be irritated with me and not at all welcoming or helpful. ANd since my daughter has only been a new member for 8 weeks, I'm sure there are people who don't know her all that well yet. I would hate for someone to dislike me or spread a rumor about me and have that rub off on her. It's not worth it. It would turn that special moment into a tense moment.

Anyway -- to anyone who has this yet to come... I would advise (ha! advice from me!!??) calling the chapter much earlier and then talking to National if necessary. BY the time I contacted them, their rituals were already in place, etc. If I had talked to someone 6 weeks ago, maybe they would have listened to my explanation and been more open to changing their routine. Just a thought. Good luck to anyone else with this type of situation coming up!!