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That is sooo good! Tell her to keep a positive attitude...it really helped my daugter get through!
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Best of luck and Gig "em ! I'm pulling for my daughter's (Fightin' Texas Aggie Class of 05) house! Sounds like she's doing great.
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I liked it when I had down time-I met many other PNMs this way. 7 houses out of 9 is very good.
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Sounds good!! She is a real trooper! Go TexasDaughter...keep us updated TexasMom!!
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2:42 a.m. -- What???
I just got off the phone with TexasDaughter and she gave me a rundown of the evening's events. Apparently, there was a storm in College Station this evening during the round of parties and it delayed everything by about an hour. The girls were told to go inside whichever house they went to last to ride out the storm. She said they weren't allowed to speak to the actives when they went back inside the house a second time.
These are the houses she visited during this second round. Tamyra. One of her favorites from yesterday and she was glad to start with them today. Again, she clicked with several girls. Didn't talk to the same girls as yesterday, but spoke with four others. She definitely felt a connection here. Paula. This is an example of always giving a house another chance. She was unsure about this house yesterday, but today TexasDaughter loved this house -- she talked to a lot of people and had several meaningful conversations with the actives about their philanthropy. Chris. TexasDaughter liked these girls a lot. They were down to earth, friendly and she could see herself fitting in here. Taylor. A very popular house on campus. TexasDaughter isn't sure it's for her though. Said she is more nervous in this house than any other. Fantasia. TexasDaughter really liked this group. She is learning more about them each day and likes them more each time she goes back. Randy. TexasDaughter is not sure this is the house for her, but she's willing to go back to give them another look. She's probably the most ambivalent towards this house. Katherine. Another group she likes a lot.. She said they were all very outgoing and seemed good-hearted -- they really talked a lot about their philanthropy and she liked that. The third round of parties will begin tomorrow at 4:00 p.m. They'll get their invites and go immediately to the houses. They may attend up to six parties at 35 minutes each. NOTE: It's becoming a habit of mine to post in the early morning hours. Please excuse the typos, and the disjointed language in this post. I wanted to get it posted while her comments were fresh. Incidentally, it's so nice to see a "Good Luck to TexasDaughter" post from someone you've never physically met. I think that's cool! Go Aggies! |
I think I typed "Randy" instead of "Ruben". Not doing a good job previewing the posts, am I?
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Do you ever sleep???? Is that nervous worried mom sleeplessness?
Count another mom wishing TXDaughter only the best and crossing my fingers for a happen ending rush! And for Mom to be happy as well! |
Do you ever sleep???? Is that nervous worried mom sleeplessness?
_______________________ I'm beginning to wonder if I'll ever get eight hours of uninterrupted sleep again, proudmom. Actually, I was asleep when TexasDaughter called this morning around 1 a.m. Of course, by the time we chatted, then I posted (obviously, I'm not the world's quickest poster) and the time I got back to bed it was almost time to get up. Hopefully, it'll all be worth it if she can find her home. TexasDaughter is the type of girl who needs to sort things out verbally when she makes her decisions (unlike her two older sisters). I guess last night I was the recipient of her chattiness. Of course, I have a feeling I'm not going to be very bright at work today! Oh, well. |
Oh... I so wish AGD was still at A&M... I looked into transferring there while I was in college. Also my brother is there and it would be so awesome for him to meet a sister to be my sister-in-law. OH my...
Good luck with all the other options. I am always a very verbal thinker, so on behalf of all us verbal people... THANKS for helping us work through our issues! |
Good Luck to Your Texas Daughter!
Thank you so much for posting a thread that is so interesting to read! Having been through "Formal Recruitment" myself many many years ago at a much smaller school with only three sororities on campus, this brings back so many fond memories. However, I can only imagine how tired your daughter must be after every round!
I don't usually give advice, but please remind her that the sorority she chooses isn't for four years, it is for a LIFETIME! I wish her the best in her difficult decision and admire her open mindedness! BEST WISHES FOR A SUCCESSFUL MATCH! :D --First, Finest, & FOREVER! ΑΔΠ |
I'm really glad she liked so many of the houses...and again I say, "AMBIEN"! ;)
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Texasmom, I'm a Longhorn, but I am really enjoying reading this thread. Best of luck to your daughter - it sounds like she is having a great time.:)
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tinydancer how long ago was gamma phi beta at UT? I just transferred in and didn't know they had been on campus here before, cool stuff.
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Good deal! Keep us updated...we appreciate your night time posts!! GO TEXASDAUGHTER!! GET SOME SLEEP TEXASMOM!!
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My thoughts are with you TexasMom. Hope you will soon get good news and things went well today for TexasDaughter!
My daughter is going through day three of rush. I was in the dentist's chair today with a drill in my mouth when the phone rang from across the room. I knew it was her with the next list in hand but I couldn't answer, she left no message. Don't know if it was a call of joy or tears...as Tom Petty says, "The waiting is the hardest part." |
Oh my gosh - my daughter (and I) were in the same boat last year. Yep - a big Texas University. She (and I) were filled with anxst!! I was with her for day 1 (5 parties) but had to go home for the rest of rush. I was tied to the phone!
So, here we are a year later and she's now a Sister, a rusher, and while she's very, very happy and "at home" - being a rusher is much harder than she thought and also very stressful. She and I have often talked about how great Rush was for her last year and here's her top suggestions of what worked for her. She was invited back to the max parties every night: 1) Be totally open minded. Yes, thanks to the local Panhel and my unabashedly contacting every sorority woman I knew for a rec - "B" had at least one rec at every sorority. At least in my neck of the Texas woods, the local PanHel will ensure it. 2) Practice, practice, practice - yes, my daughter, "B" ,practiced the handshake, the small talk. My neice, an active Pi Phi, at Ole Miss helped her. 'B" is quite shy and the practice really helped. Today my daughter told me that it's quite apparent the girls who are asked an open ended question and can somehow turn it into a yes or no. Not a good thing. 3) take notes - after you leave the house - jot down who you talked with and about what -- not only so you can remember but so that at the next party you can say "yesterday I really enjoyed chatting with emily. we talked about your intramural softball league..." 4) CLEAN UP THE FACEBOOK. This year --- girls at this Texas school are being cut left and right because their Face Book has suggestive words, pictures of the girls with alcohol, allusions to alcohol, sleezy outfits. Sororities don't like this!!! My girl's facebook picture and profile was clean, cute, and interesting. B and I early on decided to treat this like a job interview and followed everything you've heard - smile, BE PREPARED with questions, small talk; eye contact, remember - everyone likes the sound of their own name, etc. and it worked. My daughter had a tough, tough time deciding which sororities NOT to return to. Odd as it sounds - she cut one because the house was just too loud - music on top of conversation. months later she learned that this house was, supposedly, one of the "tops" I think your girl is in good shape - they like girls with good grades and who dress appropriately. She'll do great and if she goes where I think - all of the houses are fantastic. Keep us all posted. CB |
TexasMom, I'm enjoying your updates. I hope that things continue to go well for TexasDaughter. Hopefully you'll be able to get some sleep soon...:)
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What sorority is your daughter a member of? |
Great post, Cindy1028. Sounds like your daughter was well-prepared! Glad it was a positive experience.
Don't take this the wrong way, but at some big, competitive Greek campuses you run into quite a few prospective new members who are so "well-prepared" that I refer to them as "professional rushees!" :) |
One more thing I forgot to mention--- after all of the excitement, hoopla, stress, and exhaustion of RUSH and then several weeks after that my daughter said "Mom, you know I am sooooo happy and have NO regrets but in retrospect I think I would have been happy at several of the sororities." So, I think that's a testament to the character of sorority girls in general and it really says that there is a place for everyone. "B" wants to be a ... what do you call it - the anonymous Pan Hel girl next year so she doesn't have to hear the heartbreaking "SBE" - "shines better elsewhere" (who invented that brush off?!) esp for the girl who you've heard through the grapevine only wants your house. Glad it's all in the past for me! Good luck.
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Well, invites are back, and TexasDaughter got three... the good news is that they are all to houses she really liked yesterday. I'd be lying, though if I said she wasn't discouraged. It does seem like she's getting cut hard. She's scared and not even trusting her instincts at this point, because she was rushed really hard at several houses and not invited back today. It's excruciatingly difficult because she gets her invitations, then has to swallow her disappointment & put her negativity behind her and go immediately into that first party.
I don't know if I'll be able to post anymore this evening, because I know she wants to talk to me after her last party. As I said before, TexasDaughter thinks things through by talking them out and I have a feeling she'll be thinking and talking this p.m. I know it's' important I stay positive for her -- and I feel I need to be there for her tonight. For those keeping score, she got invited back to Chris, Fantasia and Paula. Thanks to all my new friends on GC! Y'all have been wonderful! |
Tell her not to be discouraged! It only takes one house to make a successful recruitment. She's still absolutely in the running with three invites. Good luck to her, and stay positive. I'm crossing my fingers for TexasDaughter.
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I agree...be positive. I know this is really hard...but as you saw with my daughter...it can still work out!
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can we find out what houses she's been cut from?
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Chin Up!
Please tell your daughter to keep her chin up!
It is my understanding that Texas A&M's Panhellenic is using a new recruitment method this year and this may be contributing to her being "cut". It is unfortunate that this is happening to her and I'm sure she is disheartened. However, from your posts your daughter sounds like an amazing, brilliant, and resilient young woman. Having experience with the university system as a past lecturer, let me say that any sorority at Texas A&M University would be lucky to have her! I continue to wish you and your daughter all the best and hope that she does not give up hope! Remember that nothing happens by chance! --Doc |
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It is true-it only takes one house. Several of my friends endured heavy cuts toward the end of recruitment (we were all juniors when we went through) but they all got there first choice-tell your daughter not to give up!
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GO GO GO GO Texas Daughter and keep your head up!
This is comforting me as I await my pesky bar exam results: "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with THANKSGIVING, let your request be made known unto God; and the PEACE that passes all understanding will guard your hearts and mind through Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7). Texas Daughter, what God has for you, is for YOU!!! Forget the rest, you're headed towards the best! Gig'Em! |
Just got off the phone with TexasDaughter -- it's a good thing we have unlimited minutes on T-Mobile, 'cause that was a long, much-needed conversation.
She visited three houses this evening and was really excited about them all. I know a request was made for me to name the actual houses that she's been cut from, but I'd rather not, because if I did, then everyone could figure out the remaining three. by process of elimination I'm not trying to be difficult about this, just careful. It's really important to me that I honor and respect TexasDaughter's privacy in this process. Today was Craft Day at each of the three houses. i'll sum up her visits as follows: Chris -- The PNMs crafted some items to be given to the recipients of this GLO's philanthropy. TexasDaughter said that while she and another PNM were making their craft, they were joined by two actives. She said all four of them had a good conversation. After they made the craft, then all the actives did a presentation. TexasDaughter was then rotated to other actives. She enjoyed this house a lot. She said while they were listening to the presentation, a lot of the PNMs seemed bored and the actives noticed this, she thought. She made sure she was attentive and complimented the sisters on all their hard work after the presentation was over. She says she can see herself as a sister of this house. Paula -- TexasDaughter also adores this house. This house had a fairly slow start with her, but she has come to appreciate it more and more each day. The girls are "real," she says. She has met several sisters whom she has visited with each day. They did a craft, which again was made for their local philanthropy. TexasDaughter is very drawn to these girls -- she really does have a strong interest in this group! Fantasia -- Another good visit. She didn't know a lot about their philanthropy and said she asked a lot of questions of the sisters, who were extremely eager to answer her. She liked the fact they were proud of their work. TexasDaughter liked this group also -- she said she met several girls she would call friends. So, even though she may not have the numbers of invitations she would like, we think she's extremely fortunate to truly like all the groups that still have an interest in her. These are all good, solid GLOs. And in a funny way, TexasDaughter is relieved, because she can concentrate on these houses and make a thoughtful, intelligent decision. Also, TexasDaughter said today the Rho Gammas said that a lot of girls have dropped out. She also heard that the big cuts were the first two days. I cautioned her not to listen to "tent talk" but she said this came from some of the Rho Gammas. Tomorrow morning the remaining PNMs are to meet for another convocation -- this is supposed to address finances. I think. My question is, would they have PNMs attend this if they were planning to cut them later that day? The fourth round, "Sisterhood Day," or "Skit Night" begins tomorrow evenig at 6 and each PNM can attend up to four parties. NOTE to Nolemom: I laughed hard at your story about being in the dentist's office when the phone rang. Yesterday, I was in my boss' office when the phone rang and I ran out of there so fast his jaw dropped! NOTE to cindy0128: Great advice about FaceBook! TexasDaughter said she made sure hers was presentable right after she registered. NOTE to exquisite5: Best wishes in your Bar Exam Results! Hopefully, TexasDaughter will be in that position in a few years. Sorry for the length of this post. As southernyankee advised, I think i'll go take an Ambien! |
if quite a few girls have dropped out of rush, that is better for the girls who are remaining.
the convocation regarding finances was scheduled well in advance(i would imagine)-it does not have anything to do with the status of the pnms. they want to make sure that the remaining girls completely understand that if they join a sorority, they or their parents are able to meet the financial obligations. it sounds like your daughter had wonderful conversations at all her parties and that she is really thinking about where she would be the happiest. continued good wishes to her. |
Good Luck to Texas Daughter. I know the cuts have been discouraging, but encourage her to stick it out as long as there is 1 house on her party list that she would join if the invitation were extended. As lots of people have said many times, it only takes one and if she likes that one it's all she needs.
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I am glad she liked all the parties! That is a good sign.
I am so impressed with your daughter's attitude! She sounds like a daughter we would all be proud to call our own...and her mom ain't too shabby either! Good vibes for the day being sent your way... |
Kudos for TexasMom
I must admit TexasMom your posts are not only interesting, but some of them have made me sniffle a little. I think it is absolutely amazing that you are supporting your daughter through the entire formal recruitment experience. It is obvious that you have developed a relationship with your daughter in such a way that your daughter feels comfortable sharing her innermost feelings with you. I hope that she always feels this way towards you and recognizes your inner strength and your unconditional love for her! What an amazing gift to pass on to a young woman!
On a side note, you are to be commended on your courage in helping her deal with rejection in such a mature and understanding manner! Your commitment to ensuring your daughter's privacy is courageous. My father was the one who supported me through my recruitment experience and he once told me (guru that he is), "Rejection does not mean failure, unless it does not motivate you to pursue success!" You are an outstanding mother to be willing to stand beside your daughter throughout this exhausting time! The listening you have done in this one week alone has only helped to build her resilence! My thoughts, prayers, and my fingers are crossed that she continues to have a successful recruitment experience. I continue to wish you and your daughter the best and hope that where ever she decides to go, she finds a place she can call HOME! |
Wow TexasMom, your daughter has an amazing attitude about this whole process. As you said, lots of girls are dropping out -- this happens for many reasons, but at my school at least, the most common reason is because a girl didn't get an invite back to her #1 choice. In some recruitments, up to 40% of PNMs leave recruitment before Pref, so this can only help your daughter's odds.
Her attitude and the fact that she's finding things she loves about all the houses she's been invited to can only help her in this process. She's maximizing her chances, and I'm really really crossing my fingers for her! (and Chris, because I wanted him to win AI this year :) ) |
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Update
TexasDaughter received invites to two wonderfull groups today. She was happy to accept invites from both the Chris and Paula groups. The parties started about 6 p.m. and spanned longer lengths of time -- each group performed a skit for the PNMs.
TexasDaughter was impressed with the quality of both skits. She said there was a lot of singing and dancing in both of them and she said the talent was amazing. I won't reveal too much detail about the themes of the skits, but suffice it to say that TexasDaughter appreciated all the sisters' obvious hard work and practice for their performances. The format of both parties was similar. TexasDaughter met many new sisters in both groups, and tried to make a point of talking to or at least mentioning girls she had visited with previously.. She is leaning slightly toward one of the houses - I won't say which one - but she asked me not to reveal her preference. As y'all can tell by reading the posts, it's been a long and gruelling week for her. But she is happy -- as her mom, I can already hear a new maturity in her voice. She's putting herself out there -- not an easy thing for her. My little chickie has had to grow up quite a bit this week, and that process is not always pretty, nor does it always have a fairy tale ending. Regardless of whether or not TexasDaughter is fortunate enough to become a part of one of the wonderful, special sisterhoods at A&M, this has been an amazing, amazing time. She told me tonight that regardless of the outcome, she does not regret the experience. So, Pref Night is tomorrow. Obviously, TexasDaughter is hoping for a repeat of tonight's invitations. She is genuinely curious about Pref Night as she has heard so much from reading this forum and talking to alumane, and hopes she is lucky enough to be included. The PNMs will be allowed to pref two GLOs. Incidentally, tonight TexasDaughter said they were allowed to rank only the houses they visited today, unlike previous days when they had to rank a top six or a top 9. Thanks for all your support. It means a great deal to both TexasDaughter and me. |
i am glad that she had such a good time tonight. i have enjoyed reading your posts. your daughter sounds like a great girl! i will keep my fingers crossed for her!
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Good luck to TexasDaughter, you must be very proud of her! I hope tomorrow brings more good news - and that you sleep well tonight.
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